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It's Almost Too Much To Bare...

Friday, March 15, 2013

As the days go on, it is really hard for me to keep it together. I am literally watching my son shrivel away. It is so hard not to cry. I took him to breakfast at friendlys yesterday. A tear fell from my eye, he saw it and said "cut it out - i cant eat anymore". I wiped it and started eating so he went back to eating. I have no appetite but am eating so he eats. Yesterday he ate 1000 calories! I can see his shoulder blade lines through his tshirt and sweatshirt! We went home and booked an appointment with a lawyer to write up his will. We got all the necessary info ready. I hoped that would spark something in his brain to say "hey, maybe I need help."

Today was worse for me. I went to work and my husband stayed with him. He was the lucky one that got to take him to the lawyer's office. She felt sp bad for him she took 40% off the price!

I hybernated in my office today. My other son popped in and we had a long talk. He thinks my son will snap out of it, I had to tell him the harsh realty. I have had to call all my relatives over the past two weeks and tell them. If anyone asks how he is I start crying and say "not good." th poor staff at PT hot to be wondering what is wrong with me. I cried quietly on the eliptical and when I had to tell a new therapist why I have to answer my cell if it tings during my session. At some point, I am going to go talk to a therapist.

We do have a plan in place with the doctors. Monday my son is getting an endoscopy by the GI Dr. He also ordered a lot of bloodwork. The kidney dr is keeping an eye on his kidneys. They have to rule out that it isn't nothing else, but, I have now been with him four days and I know the signs. If all tests come back negative, I have an appointment for him with a dietitian/eating disorder specialist. I have another call out to someone else - hoping to get an appointment sooner. Tuesday or Wednesday he goes back to the family doctor who is going to be very blunt with my son. We have rears he'd treatment centers and Monday will get preapproval from insurance so we will be ready to send him.

Please pray that he asks for help and stops denying he has a problem. I pray everyday that he says he needs help. He is 106 lbs now and I really feel that his life is in total jeopardy. I have really appreciated all your support and prayers over the past 6 weeks. I am sorry if I can't answer you all the time.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have seen shows on Dr. Phil about girls that are anorexic or bulimic or both. I don't know if you could view some of his shows on it and find a good treatment center. One place had a very good success rate. I hardly ever watch him any more. You and your husband are doing your best. It isn't anything that you have done to cause this.

    I will be praying for you, dear heart, your son and your family. Keep with your routines as much as possible, they do help.
    1922 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    Your son may not be able to comprehend his own situation because of lack of food. I don't know whether he has the legal right to refuse treatment, but he may not, and the medical community can step in.

    I hope you can have the faith that each person is living out his own destiny, and we may not understand the big picture. Even as you take whatever steps you choose to, e emoticon verything will unfold as it is really needed for all concerned.
    1922 days ago
    Cry whenever you want, talk to anyone you want!! You are an amazing person and mother, keep us updated it will get better.
    1922 days ago
  • KANOE10
    I will pray for you and your son. Hugs. I hope he gets treatment that helps him.
    1924 days ago
    Has he seen a psychiatrist yet? I will pray for you.
    1924 days ago
    You are in our thoughts and prayers. I just hope you can feel the support we are all sending your way. emoticon
    1924 days ago
  • MAGGIE805
    Sending hugs and prayers your way. emoticon emoticon
    1924 days ago
    No need to answer. You are in my daily prayers.
    1924 days ago
    Giant hugs
    1924 days ago
    I am so very sorry.
    1924 days ago
  • CHERRY666
    1924 days ago
    Don't worry about us, girl - you've got enough! Just know that even when you're not checking in, we're thinking of you.

    Don't worry about those tears either -- cry when you can, because there are reasons we cry in distress; let yourself do that. See a counselor or therapist if it helps of course-- and they can be very helpful-- but crying isn't a symptom-- it's part of coping. :)

    Praying for his wellness and your peace of mind.
    1924 days ago
    I can't imagine what you're going through. I will pray for you and your family. xoxo
    1924 days ago
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