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"Fat Kid" No More!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Ever since about first grade, I've been heavier than I should have been. I wore larger dresses than other girls. I had to start wearing women's clothes when I was 11 because I didn't fit into juniors/kids. Fitness competitions were always disappointing because I could never run as fast or do as many situps as any of the other kids. The only time I got a "Red Star" on my fitness chart (the lowest marker, BTW) was when another girl lied and said I did more situps than I had.

Once I started going to the doctor more frequently as a teen, I got used to every doctor giving me the weight spiel. "How much do you exercise?" "What kind of exercises do you do?" "What do you eat?" "You know, just hop on the bike a bit more and try to shed those 50 pounds." "You know, the heavier you are, the more susceptible you are to diabetes."

If you gave me the choice between walking/biking and reading, I'd read. If you gave me the choice between a bowl of carrots and a bowl of ice cream, I'd take the ice cream. That's the kind of girl I am - unfortunately, the kind of girl that got me to the unhealthy weight of 268.

I don't know what life being normal weight is. I don't know what it's like to go to a doctor and not have my weight brought up along with a 15 minute long talk about how I should lose weight. I've dreamed plenty about being normal weight, but I've never gotten there.

But I have had it. I'm tired of being the "fat kid". I'm tired of being the heaviest of my friends. I'm tired of having to listen to the same talk about my weight with my doctor. I'm tired of food controlling me, of not having the energy to do what I want. I'm tired of squeezing into clothes that look "meh" on me, of squeezing into airplane seats and being uncomfortable for a 3+ hour flight, of squeezing into life.

I've lost a grand total of 58 pounds. I am so proud of my accomplishment! It tells me that I CAN lose weight, that I CAN be the woman that is hiding in the fat. And knowing that I've dropped this much weight, I don't see the next 60 pounds to take me to my "ideal weight" of 150 that far off.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Congratulations on losing 58 pounds !! That's fantastic !!!

    I understand how you feel. When I was in grammar school (back in the Dark Ages), I had to wear "husky" sizes. And I was horrible at the Presidential Fitness Awards tests !! Talk about a traumatizing experience.

    Well, that was a long time ago, today I work part time at a gym as a group exercise instructor. You'll be pleasantly surprized where your journey to good health takes you !!

    1858 days ago
    emoticon 58 pound weight loss is an amazing achievement!
    1858 days ago
    It's so awesome you have lost 58 pounds!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1858 days ago
    emoticon Keep it up!
    1861 days ago
  • JACKI1033
    Great blog! I can totally relate to this (even now). I've always been the biggest or one of the biggest people in my group of friends. I've had my mom putting me on a diet since I was in first grade.
    I've had Drs tell me to lose weight since high school (when I was 170!!) Hahaha! I can't wait to be 170 again!
    And I've had Drs. tell me recently that other than being overweight, I'm one of the healthiest people out there (according to blood work, blood pressure, etc) at 215 pounds.
    So what do they know?
    But that being said, it's GREAT that you are really doing it! I loved what you said about squeezing into life. It really describes how it feels to be overweight in a skinny girl's world.

    I'm looking forward to reading about more of your successes!!

    1861 days ago
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