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I'm drifting‏

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

I can feel it.

I skipped my run yesterday, just because I didn't feel like it, and spent the evening eating instead.
I haven't marked up my running and ST days on the calendar to tick them off as I go, and I can't seem to work up the energy to do it.
I bought a bag of cookies at the weekend to use for a cake on Thursday. They're gone.
Even walking to and from work I've not yet made it to 10,000 steps in one day this week. Between walking to and from work I just don't move.
I am so, SO grateful for all the goodies, and comments on my page and blogs. But when it comes to saying thank you to everyone I just can't find the energy.
I didn't finish tracking my food the last few days, and I know I'm not going to.

I'm drifting away from Spark, from the whole healthy thing. I can feel it. But I don't know how to stop it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've been having the same problem the last few days, and the way I'm trying my best to handle it is to be gentle on myself. It's ok that I've missed a few days of tracking everything, because today, I'm going to track. It's ok that I haven't checked in with my spark friends, because today, I'm gonna explain. It's ok that I haven't worked out for like.. a week, because I'm going to today.

    Even if I'm not ok with the behaviors I've had the last week, beating myself up over them won't change them. All I can do is say it's ok, because it has to be, and move forward today!

    If you're anything like me, your motivation will wax and wane regardless of your focus on goals or accomplishments... and a bit of it is just waiting it out. In the meantime, pick ONE small behavior to focus on improving instead of focusing on everything that seems to be sliding. Maybe that'll help it seem a little less daunting, and will make the energy it takes a little more manageable.
    1866 days ago
    You have identified the problem. That is half the battle!

    Most people (me included in the past) mindlessly and happily drifted away from lofty goals.

    Now, my not having them irritates me. I want them back. So I put down my pom poms and I sit with the malaise and melancholy, keep sparking (even if it is just Spark lurking) and wait for the Spark to return.

    oh, and I try not to do too much damage in the interim! emoticon

    If you have not met them already, check out some of my favorite Sparkers that help me keep it real and keep me from being a Spark Ghost: STEELKICKIN, PANDASUE2, VHALKYRIE, 68ANNE, INGBADEN, FANGFACEKITTY, GETSTRONGRRR, LE7_1234, JOHNTJ1, HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE, DAYSPRING-STAR. I could go on and on! (and if you are not listed here, don't think you don't count!!)

    oh, and OLIVIANIGHT is awesome too! Check out some of her past blogs. She one fantastic lady! Her support has been key to me getting through some of my lowest spots.

    Keep ...

    ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
    ¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
    ((¸¸.•´ ..•´ Spreading the Spark!-:¦:-
    -:¦:- ((¸¸.•´*

    1866 days ago
    So you didn't make 10,000 steps. You are walking to and from work. It's not like that doesn't count just because it's not 10,000.

    So you didn't run yesterday. Run tomorrow.

    So you ate cookies. Next time, you won't buy them until you need them, and then you will eat an apple (or something else healthy) while you are baking so you won't eat cookies. Or maybe you will make a different cake. Or fruit salad instead of cake.

    There are so many different options. You don't have to lock yourself into only one possible interpretation, only one possible future. Just relax and open yourself to other possibilities. Then MAKE something more positive happen.
    1867 days ago
  • LYNNA1968
    I'd miss you so Nope I won't allow it lol, I drift also but I've been doing drive by's but check in, you have a lot of people that care
    1867 days ago
  • FIREFLY4407
    Oh my gosh girl - don't even think about doing that to yourself!! It's definitely ok to take a mental health break for a few days, but then you owe it to yourself to keep yourself on a healthy track. You've come too far with your weight loss and fitness goals to let yourself backslide and throw it away now. Take some time to revisit why you started this journey in the first place, and what you've learned & gained along the way, and I hope you can rediscover your Spark!
    1867 days ago
    Maybe you need a short break. But try looking back on yourself from this time last year. You have achieved such a lot, you're not going to loose it all in a couple of weeks. Perhaps you've reached the end of tracking sustainability. I've never considered it sensible for a whole life plan, but in that case you need something else. Try to concentrate on your running, it says a lot about your personality, take a quick break and come back renewed.
    1867 days ago
    Don't stop logging in...even if you just update your status or check in with a team or two. Read some success stories, revisit your original reasons for being here. You CAN get thru this! I'd miss you! emoticon
    1867 days ago
    Take a break, but keep tracking... At some point you will WANT to get back on track. If you don't feel like exercising, do some stretching and rest. Sometimes we just need to relax from all the effort. Give yourself some time, but stay accountable. At some point you will say "Enough! I want to be back" and you will. But until that moment, stay around, don't disappear emoticon
    1867 days ago
    I would miss you! Please do not drift any further away. I am wondering if you have a mate off of Spark to work out and talk weight/health/exercise with? When I'm down that buddy helps me too.

    Cookie day is over. Today is healthy eating day. Or healthy eating afternoon. Or whatever healthy next little step you can take.

    I believe in you~!!!
    1867 days ago
    I can completely relate. The drifting idea is very familiar to me as well. How about starting back at the beginning again, set a small goal for the week (logging in once a week, drinking your water, making 10,000 steps each day) and then build up again. Maybe it will help you to move a little more and realize that you don't want to undo any of your successes! You can do this, we all have funks occasionally!
    1867 days ago
    This is so me right now. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves about this that it gets exhausting. I've pretty much been useless since winter came in November... and the longer it goes on the harder it is to get back. Here's hoping this is just a fleeting thing for you. Push through it girl!
    1867 days ago
  • PAL2010
    This is a fantastic site so please don't drift away. Just by posting this blog means that you can feel the connection as well. There is just so much support and great advice here. I'm sure if you stick with your blogging things will soon start to turn around for you.

    emoticon emoticon
    1867 days ago
    If you feel yourself drifting just get out there are do your run today or whatever it is you like to do for exercise. You are allowed to take a day off but two turns into three and then four etc. You may not want to but "just do it" and I can bet you will feel better about yourself afterward. Get back to tracking; it will keep you accountable. When you see in writing that you ate that whole bag of cookies you won't do it again. Be smart, you don't want to undo all of the good things you have already done. emoticon emoticon
    1867 days ago
    Do not drift away from Spark please...it helps you more than you realize...

    Big deal about the cookies. Write it off. Start over. that's the great thing about having to live only one day at a time. a few slips doesn't define all the progress you have made unless YOU let it.

    You need to look in the mirror and see all that you have accomplished so far. Do not give up on yourself.

    You can do this. We are all here for you and love to see your doings rather they be what you consider a success or other.

    1867 days ago
    Just keep logging in and writing your blogs, you are here and you realize things are drifting and that is the important thing. Remember why you are here and all the positive things you have accomplished since you have been here! Think of the perfect fitting size 12 jeans and how you want them to be too big so you have to buy a 10!!!

    You can do it!
    1867 days ago
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