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The title of this blog was going to be Back Fat!!!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I was going to write a post about how even though I lost five pounds I looked in the mirror today and saw some gross back fat.

Yuck...two pieces of my back touching together. I paused in front of my mirror disgusted.

Then, I heard my mom's voice in my mind, even though she has been gone 5 years. She always used to say "if you've got your health, you've got gold."

My mind drifted back to the end of January, when at the same time I had an abnormal pap as well as breast pain that rendered me unable to move my arm and begging multiple doctors for a breast sonogram. Luckily, I had testing and things turned out ok.

Suddenly, the fat on my back looked beautiful. The kidneys it housed, the back without pain, unlike so many poor people.

I reached into my memory and recalled some of the stories I read while researching my symptoms on the internet. Women who were fighting breast cancer just to stay alive, who were begging on forums and blogs for just some more TIME, time to see their kids turn 1 or see their daughter get married.

Brave women who enrolled in clinical trial after trial after trial just to extend their time on this walk, to learn, to grow, to explore without illness, as I was able to do if I wasn't looking in my mirror at back fat.

Does my son care about my back fat? No, he just wants his mommy healthy and alive to be with him. As I, even though an adult, wanted my own mother who lost her leg to diabetes.

I realized that I want to do this mostly to get healthy. I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't love to look better, but my main focus has to be on my health.

Part of our health is loving our body and taking care of it.

And, despite my being overweight, for the most part I am pretty healthy.

For this I am grateful.

So...instead of staring at my back fat, I said a silent thank you for my health, gave a silent respect and sorrow for those people fighting deadly illness or crippling pain and counted my blessing.

Then I pulled my shirt over my head and went for a walk.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NEWMEN2013
    What a health booster when we stop the negative thoughts and fill our hearts with gratitude! Even when we are feeling ill (personally battling a sore throat which I am GREATLY hoping isn't strep), we need to be grateful because it could be so much more [Reminder to self: this too shall pass!]
    Thanks for a little healthy perspective to start the weekend! Your Mom would be proud!
    1919 days ago
    1919 days ago
    1919 days ago
    I am divorced now but when I was married I had the honor of being the step father of an awesome son. He was autistic and learning new ideas came hard to him. BUT one lesson I learned from him was "DON'T GIVE UP!". When he was frustrated with his learning he just kept on trying. I am now in my maintenance phase of my journey but along the way I had those days when I was disappointed in how I looked or that I was not dropping weight as fast as I hoped for. But then I would hear Dominic's voice saying to me "DON'T GIVE UP!". Your blog echoed in my mind that here is someone who says "DON'T GIVE UP!" May you continue to reach for the Moon and the Stars.
    1920 days ago
    This is an excellent blog. It is so wonderful to love the temple we were given. Although the temple is on loan, we still should return it in as good a condition as we received. I love your attitude.

    1921 days ago
    What a wonderfully positive attitude! With good health and determination you can make the changes you want to see in your life. And we are all here, cheering you on, while we take our own journeys.

    I look forward to reading about your successes in your future blogs!
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    1922 days ago
    Nothing like an attitude of gratitude. Spend your time taking the next step in the right will all fall into place. emoticon
    1923 days ago
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