Monday, March 11, 2013
So, I went over this meal plan that my friend suggested over the weekend. It seems pretty doable. I'll have to learn how to cook a few things, but I should do that, anyway. The idea of protein shakes kind of scares me, though. But first, I have to buy them.
I'm not quite prepared to start the plan. I have a bunch of food in my house that will go to waste if I do. I'll just try to stick to my calorie range for a while with the foods I have and perhaps slowly integrate the meal plan, little by little.
I've been feeling pretty successful, which is helping me stay on track. I ate whatever I wanted over the weekend and didn't gain anything, though I probably should have. I'm guessing that since I have a little foundation of exercise going, I can maybe get away with that kind of stuff once in a while. I also didn't eat anything too terrible. The worst of it was Saturday morning at the movie, I got pretzel bites. But I shared them and only ate 1/3 of them myself. I usually eat that whole thing by myself. It was hard to stop because they were perfect. But, I have to stop eating when I've had enough - I don't need to keep eating just because it's delicious.
So I talked through this meal plan with my friend, and he's very supportive. He actually started the conversation by asking why I was going to the gym and what my goal was. I told him I didn't know, I just felt like I should. Then I finally caved in and told him that I wanted to lose weight. Doing so made me feel really vulnerable. I feel like I would take any response to that negatively. If the person is too nice and says something like, Oh, you don't need to lose weight: then they are lying, or they just don't care about what I want. If they agree, then I feel offended like they think I'm a fat pig and it's about time I try to make a change. It's just an awkward conversation to have. And I hate when people act like they know everything and suddenly want to give you all this advice. Which this particular conversation could have turned into. But, somehow, he maintained a tactful demeanor, and I remained open to suggestion.
And now I feel like I have a cheerleader. Someone on my side, who doesn't look down on me for the way I am, but understands my desire to be something else and only wants me to have what I want. It was scary for me to open up to him, but I'm glad I've done it. I'm currently down 2 pounds after a week of working out somewhat consistently and mindful eating. And that's after a crazy weekend. Seriously. I'm incredibly surprised I'm down at all after going out for steak on Friday night, pretzel bite breakfast at the theater o, lunch out, and a big feast at my parents' on Saturday, and a full sized breakfast, and risotto for dinner on Sunday.