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Depression and how it hurts we don't need any help

Friday, March 08, 2013

Well everyone who had battled depression know how hard it is to keep positive and to overcome the negative part of the illness because it sets in dob't want you to win.

You know it's a daily struggle to stay positives but everyday I get feeling positive till I have a bad encounter like:

Negative people who Tare you apart just because it makes them feel better

I feel man they got to depressed to do that ok I try to say its going to be on we can do it right
I just want to say some people belittle people and don't even realize it because they think they are thinking it but opps says it
then there's the other type
Who says it see ya hurt like the bully type
I just try to do the best I can that's all I can do
I don't expect perfection
But I expect respecting me is a top priority
if you can't respect me don't say anything right
I never try to hurt any one I will not hurt anyone on purpose but I do and I know it I apologize for it cause I respect everyone even when disrespected I still try to be a positive person till I get out of my skin and turn into a I can't believe all this the shock it's a numbing place I don't like but when I felt it all last week I mean I was sick to my stomach all week feeling like my guts was yanked over the stress that happened earlier on Sunday I'm been telling everyone to pray about it and then I wrote it down burned it to god to deal with again I felt a little better but still hurts your feelings I made a deal with myself from now on don't talk till spoken to don't try to be involved to be jumped on just try to stay out of fire because its not my fault for others actions I'm no longer going to take it at face value like before because I know it's lies and I try to be a team player but I'm the only person who can protect me and that's my top priority from now on if they don't like me that is fine but don't insult me just because your upset at everything that's nothing I did it never been this bad at work but when we need like a whole shift of people cause we had one quit one fired in dec. and our temps we had both was let go and now we have one out on sick leave I'm wishing her the best and I don't want her to have a fast recovery I want her to have a healthy safe recovery and I just hope she does good for the remainder of the time when we get full staff again she won't be as stressed I feel she wanted the position so I think she should be respectful still yet talking to us like we can't read or follow directions was just wrong and down right rude and honestly it made me disrespect her little because she made me feel bad about myself I don't need anyone doing that to me people with depression have a hard enough time keeping positive she knows I have depression and anxiety and add and takes advantage of it sometimes by saying stuff against me on it when frustrated but I been ignoring it but over several months of building it knocked me down and made me feel worthless I just keep hearing her say all the time how slow I am but I am one person I can't do everyone's job at one time I cook I attend hot case and make sandwiches at the same time and if someone needs meat and cheese cut I'm walk away and do that when you get interrupted it takes longer when working on so many things at once I feel like I never get anything finished then when she pops off says that you don't do anything your trying to keep the department floating it just bunch stress I want to goto the lake and fish and play in the water just to relax I so need a vacation but right now it's to cold but soon it will be awesome I haven't been fishing in 3 years I'm going this year no matter what I better get at least one day off I can fish at least weekly I would like to relax I'm willing to work Sunday - Friday but not good enough I think it's sad I work open schedule 24 hrs a day any shift but they won't guarantee me Saturdays off I think that just crazy one day if I try to change my availability they deny it because my availability is open
I'm staying positive and doing my job to the best of my ability I just hope it's good enough I haven't heard anyone else complain about it
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks everyone I been doing great since I put it out of sight and out of mind I just do my job and if things seem to be hectic I just stay to my self and don't talk so I can't be in trouble just for my protection and I'm feeling better more confident about my job and I know when we get our help that things will happen for the better and she will be fine today we still had people breaking the rules so I tried to tell them again that we need to stop putting things that don't belong because that's what is upsetting her people not doing the job right I can understand that but I try to tell them if you want her to not be stressed or mad maybe you can help me by not putting stuff in freezer that don't belong to make bit easier and better for all
    2101 days ago
    Remember that when others try to make you feel bad about yourself, that says a lot more about them than it does about you. Be confident in your own worth and nobody else will be able to bring you down. Best of luck!
    2101 days ago
    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at work. It's unfortunate when other people take advantage of others when they know they can. I hope things get better soon!
    2102 days ago
    2102 days ago
    You are a wonderful, caring and helpful person. Unfortunately people take advantage of your kindness and good nature.

    People have a very hard time dealing with any illness that is not physical. It's like if they can't see it, they don't believe. My dear husband deal with severe anxiety and it's something that people do not understand because from the outside, he seems "normal".

    Hopefully you can always find the strength to put yourself first and do what you need to do.

    Your garden sounds lovely!
    2102 days ago
    I am glad you can talk about your frustrations here. Keep that tender heart of yours, its precious! emoticon
    2102 days ago
  • DOLLY1259
    It sounds like you have a very tender, loving ,kind heart. When you have such a kind heart as you do it is easy to get it hurt. I know you would never hurt someone on purpose so it is hard to understand when it happens to you. Just remember, when someone is rude to you that is a reflection on them not you! Try not to take it personal, maybe they have problems that no one knows about and are just venting on you.
    Keep smiling that is your gift to the world! emoticon
    2102 days ago
    Thanks it's true you just got to decide wich role your going to be everyone has better days than other and I am the same way I hope on my worst days I'm still confident enough about my service and situations not to be a bully or do sarcastic I hurt others if I offend anyone I will apologize but I am pretty easy going not hard to get a long with I'm honest respectful and loves to do her job and mostly a happy go lucky person who has been told I smile to much but hey that's what makes me me I feel good a out myself for the most part I just want others who not as fortunate as me on the positive front I used to negative to the point I felt sorry for myself I deserve respect just like everyone is does and if you got mental illness it isn't your fault and don't blame yourself for it just be positive about it take it one day at a time try something new like journaling to get it off your chest talk to a friend about it what ever makes you feel better about it I'm thinking about after everything like this plant a new seed to try to start new healthy chapter along my new healthy corn plants that's what I'm planting veggies and maybe a few flowers but I want zucchini and squash okra and eggplants tomato cucumbers and onions lettuce carrots potatoes lettuce leaf romaine and spinach seems like I'm missing something kale and carrots to go into stews and salads and boy I'm getting Hungary just thinking about it
    2102 days ago
    It's hard sometimes when people hurt you, but I know you can find the strength to move on and don't let those people hurt you...
    2102 days ago
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