So full of negativity...

Friday, March 08, 2013

There are a LOT of things that I can complain about. A lot of things bothering me, on my mind. But in the grand scheme of things, I'm just whining. I know that i'm blessed beyond anything that I deserve, so I need to just find a way to channel that negativity and push it away. I know others are suffering in real ways, ways that I can't imagine how I'd put one foot in front of the other. It'd do me good to remember that, and remember how blessed I really am. Who cares if I'm having a bad month at work. I'm working!

I'm gaining weight... consistently. I'm not ignorant... I know why. I just haven't been able to dig in and do the work and say no to the food. As long as I eat with reckless abandon, I'll continue to gain, it's just that simple.

I've lost my mojo. I've lost my spark. I haven't been any good for myself or my dear spark friends.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    We all have high & lows You will be fine!

    spark hug
    2207 days ago
    This is exactly how I feel too..hope you were able to get passed this, it's so frustrating when you know and want to do the right things and it seems impossible when we know for a fact it's not.
    3021 days ago
    i have been whiney and letting things get to me as well lately,i have not been sparking as much .way behind on my blog reading as me answering this yet shows so thanks fot the reminder.have you found your mojo yet?i hope so when not you will just have to fake it till you make it love. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3051 days ago
    Mel, I've seen from FB you found a little Spark this weekend, so I'm probably late to the party. But if I'm not, I want to remind you to find the successes. Yeah, okay, there's a stumble or two, but there's PLENTY to celebrate! Embrace those. Let them lift you up. You know what Yo would say, right? Baby steps. Yep, do those leg exercises to go along with Candy Crush. Add in some cardio. Don't have to go crazy. 20 minutes will benefit you ever so much more than none at all. Find that exercise mojo first. When you're successful there, it's so much easier to be successful on the food side. You are WORTH the time and effort, my friend.

    3056 days ago
    We have all been where you are, it's okay. Take your time with this-- you will find a spark again, likely in a new way.

    You are going through a lot... so maybe just concentrating on getting through what you can, and taking the time to enjoy your success in living through it is important? It's so easy to get stressed and then pile on the failure, you know?

    You will get there.
    3056 days ago
    Mel, I'm sorry to hear you have lost your Spark, and I know you will get it back again. Spring is coming soon the weather will get nicer, I know when that happens usually that makes it easier to eat right and exercise. In the mean time just hang in there, there are many here that love you, myself included. You are an inspiration to so many, and you have accomplished so much being a triathathlete, team captain, and blc administractor. . When you get your spark back the world better watch out, you will be unstoppable!
    My spark seems to have gone mia too, it probably tried to run off with yours but couldn't even keep up!
    3056 days ago
    Melanie Jarvis... Triathlete Extraordinaire...if you didn't find your mojo in one, more or ALL of these ever so supportive posts, then you need to re-read them and really DO reassess it ALL because man oh man it's here over and over again lady. Lots of maybes about the why's and woulda shoulda couldas but everyone has addressed that too and you know the drill backwards to Sunday so to speak. Sweetie, you CAN and you WILL. Now reach on down and put on those big girl panties and read and reread and you will soon be feeling it again. Sometimes that's just how it goes. Two steps forward and three steps back. Life is funny that way. Keeps us on our toes (and, sometimes on our okoles sweetie. That is where this sparking comes in and is so absolutely magical - there is always someone there that knows us and loves us and cares about us and isn't going to let us run away or hide in a cave or where ever our favorite place to hide is - nope; not happening. Here on spark when you blog or huddle or go missing....someone who loves you and appreciates you and feels a sense of kinship with you is going to be right here to reach out and help you back up and on with it. emoticon stuff!

    You are loved! emoticon beyond measure. You've been there and given and sacrificed and we want to be here for YOU k?

    3056 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/11/2013 8:30:47 AM
  • WATOGA17
    You are loved, admired and HUMAN. You are letting no one down but yourself. Don't worry about us. We have all been where you are (some of us are there right now). You can do this, Mel. You have done it before and you know what to do. It is all in your head. Just make up your mind to change things before more damage gets done. You know it will only make you feel worse the longer it goes. BIG HUGS coming your way. (This message is as much OR MORE for me than it is for you.) emoticon
    3056 days ago
  • BOBBYD31
    awareness is the key. now to rectify you need to take baby steps to get yourself back on track and build upon your success. many baby steps make for a grand leap.
    3057 days ago
  • FITAT50
    Sending you emoticon and I'm looking for you mojo!
    3057 days ago
  • TEKRU1
    You've helped so many others find their spark, rely on them now. I've been struggling too, but we can get this back on track !

    Re-read the blog you wrote after that tri. Remember how strong and on top it you felt then and recapture that fire now!

    You CAN do this!
    3057 days ago
    I'm up about 12lbs now:(

    If you find your Mojo, please share.
    3058 days ago
    This seems to be going around.

    I've got many good things going on, but the negative keep draining me mentally and physically.
    3058 days ago
    Awareness is key. I think when spring actually comes, it will get easier for everyone! There are many others in the very predicament you are in and I think you have a right to be upset. Why does it seem easier to give others advice than to take our own?

    We all know what we need to do but it's so hard to just do it! I'm glad you came here for support and that you're not afraid to voice it! You matter to a lot of people, including me!

    3058 days ago
    Mel, I won't "preach"......I'm doing the same thing! Gosh, I've lost it and can't seem to find it but maybe together we should sit ourselves down and have a heart to heart!! Here is a great big emoticon We'll get back!
    3058 days ago
    emoticon Anything I could say, you have no doubt already said to yourself. You'll figure it out. Spring will help too. LOL
    3058 days ago
    We all should stop and considered how blessed we are.

    You can hit the reset button when YOU are ready.

    3058 days ago
    emoticon Mel you will get your Mojo back
    3058 days ago
  • DAS92687
    emoticon You ARE Blessed !!
    It's a constant push to keep your motivation out in front of you.

    Get out your "WHY" dust it off and take a good look at it today.
    3058 days ago
    I can't tell you anything you dont know. I can't tell you anything you haven't heard before.
    I can tell you... you matter. To me. To them. To you.

    3059 days ago
    emoticon Today is a new day! emoticon
    3059 days ago
    No pep talk from me, just a big fat hug ( the only place I like fat to be!) and a smile.
    3059 days ago
    The first step to recovery is recognition and confession. You have taken that step. Take your pencil and legal size piece of paper. Draw a line straight down the middle of that piece of paper. As you have a negative thought, write it on the left side of that line. Then on the right side of that line, immediately write a countering positive thought. Believe in that positive thought and act on that positive thought. Soon, you will find yourself overtaken by only your positive thoughts and the negative will be gone. emoticon First of all, title your positive column "I AM A STRONG PERSON" Mel, we all already know this. Now, you have to start believeing this because we are not wrong. You know that all Spark People are smart and because we are smart, we are right.

    Love Ya
    3059 days ago
    3059 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    I think you just stated the answer.

    We are SO Blessed to just have SPARK PEOPLE!

    All the encouragement emoticon emoticon

    when you have negative thoughts...tell yourself emoticon
    Replace it with at least ONE GOOD THING ABOUT YOU &

    Then just DO IT!
    3059 days ago
  • no profile photo THEMRSH
    emoticon Excuse me Miss...I think I found some MOJO over here and I believe it belongs to YOU!

    You've got the right attitude Mel! You are very blessed, we all are far beyond what we can ever comprehend. You know what the problem is so now giddy up and moooove on. Remember all the good choices you've made in the past and how far you've come so far on this journey. Remember all you have done because if you've done it once you CAN do it again. We all stumble and I don't believe you've fallen yet so grab that SPARK that several of us are extending to you and take back off, baby steps at first and before you know it you'll be running again!

    3059 days ago
  • LUCYLU22
    emoticon to you, Mel! Your sparkfriends ARE so right. I think your spark has just been misplaced somewhere, we just need to figure out "where in the world is Mel's Spark"!! I will make sure to keep an eye out for it! In the mean TIME, emoticon emoticon !
    3059 days ago
    You'll get it back! Hugs!
    3059 days ago
    You can turn this around! Sparking is a process in which you quickly recognize what ails you and become ever more and more efficient at starting anew to find the healthiest way.

    Best wishes! emoticon
    3059 days ago
    Impossible....I followed the spark......:::: emoticon & found YOU!
    You've not lost your glitz! emoticon , but just in case you need a little pull, let's go dancin'!
    Dancing & Laughter just go hand in hand, Mel.
    They cause you to let loose and live! Join me, emoticon

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm cheering for YOU! ~ Laura

    3059 days ago
  • CAMAEL100
    Hey, it is not easy to be positive always! Positivity is great but it can become another thing that we have to live up to!!

    But you are right, you do have a lot going for you. Now you just have to work on loving yourself enough to be good to yourself.

    You can do it!!
    3059 days ago
    Try to take small steps i.e. keep baby carrots and LFdressing for dip, or chilled sweet bell peppers and thin slices of white cheddar... etc. on hand for your snackage. Most of your weight gain probably isn't the need to snack, but the choice of snack. If you can take 3 deep breaths (inhale through your nose and exhale through you mouth) when something at work stresses you, or... if you can stand up and walk in place to the count of 10 (arms swinging, i.e. right foot/left arm) or even 20-25, about every hour, that will help too. Of course MUSIC will definitely help... or doodling. Yeah, that's right. Keep a *just*for*doodles* notebook at your desk and in your purse and anytime you're 'reviewing' what needs to be done, whip out that sketchy pad of inklings and scribble... Just taking that short break to make a heart or a curly-cue or a flower is a proven stress reliever and it's used in therapy. We all have our bad days/months/years, but it's your attitude that needs to shift, Mel. DRENCH yourself in quotes and affirmations. Read 'em through out the entire day and... if you can take a lunch AWAY from everything... i.e. your car, do it. It's been proven that if, in the middle of the day, we can shut our eyes for 5 minutes... just let everything go... 10-15 minutes if you can spare it, it'll 'do' wonders. MOJO's still *in*there* Mel, ya' just gotta' FEED it!! emoticon
    3059 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12507525
    We all go through that. Just hang in there and try to maintain SOME good habits..till spring gets here! Spring won't fix everything..i'm sure..but it will probably go a long way to making things seem better. Everybody can get outside and soak up some's good for the soul. I don't know what you're actually going though..but i'm here for you if you ever want to chat. In the meantime do some things YOU enjoy..try some new things you THINK you may possibly enjoy. Have a good date night...get your hair done..or nails..or whatever. lol. These are all things I've been doing for myself to try and perk myself up. lmao. It's kind of working! Remember if you ever want to chat just drop me a line. I've been thinking about you and Kristen..I talk to Shell all the time via text message. Miss you girls! emoticon
    3059 days ago
  • PRIZM96
    Oh, Mel, Mel, MEL!! You haven't LOST your spark, you've just temporarily misplaced it..... there's a difference! That ROCKSTAR that finished that Triathalon not that long ago is in there! I know it!

    Maybe you just need to come hang with us in the corral for a little bit. Let us pamper you and get your mojo back! YOU got this, Girl!

    If you must know, YOU are one of the reasons I don't quit myself..... YOU are a true inspiration. Thank you.

    Much love!
    3059 days ago
    NOOOOO!! I won't allow you to lose your Spark! You've worked too hard for too long to let some negative thinking affect your success

    I'm no stranger to the downward spiral, so emoticon take my hand and let me help you. We can emoticon together.

    Sometimes when things seem bad, we just need to let others support us for a bit. Tell me what I can do to help you get back on track.

    emoticon emoticon

    I just read the blog about your triathalon--you, my friend, are a triathelete--you are super awesome and my hero. Go back, read your blog, remember how you felt--you can get this back!
    3059 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/8/2013 3:18:43 PM
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