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My absence is not enough - a blog about reaching out

Thursday, March 07, 2013


To be honest I am having a blah sort of day. It started at work when a co-worker went on and on about how foolish people are about their pets. In his opinion, dogs are meant to be work animals, kept outside and fed on bones. Funny thing is I wasn't talking about my dogs so I'm not sure why he thought I might be interested in his views. Anyway, it hurt me in a weird way.

Then I had my first physiotherapy appointment today and he thinks my leg problem all stems from my lower back. He answered all of my questions and was quite professional.

I've been weepy all week but otherwise I'm holding my own. Today we were supposed to write about how we intend to reach for help and what we will do to maintain our motivation. In the past, I just dropped off Spark when times got tough but now I know that I've got to be honest with all of you. If I'm honest, you all know how to respond and that makes me feel much better. So, no hiding my head in the sand!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Maybe that guy will come back as a dog next time and that will change his mind?
    I read a quote today..."Never argue with Stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.-Mark Twain"

    Thank you for your honesty. I tend to shy away when I'm not on target ...
    1933 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/9/2013 3:36:23 PM
  • LESLIE2561
    I'm so glad you feel you can share with us without worrying about being judged. None of us are perfect and we all have our own weaknesses and struggles. As for your dogs, they are the most loving nonjudgemental friends that you can have. Mine sits on the bed and watches me workout and doesn't say one word about all my jiggly bits. He also wants to snuggle every morning even before I brush my teeth. How many human friends can you say that about? Hang in there! emoticon
    1934 days ago
  • BOVEY63
    Lucky for the dog population, there are many people like you who cherish our 4-legged friends. I do too!
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    Sending lots of hugs and positive vibes your way!
    1934 days ago
    1934 days ago
  • POPSY190
    Good to see you here again. The physio sounds positive and I hope he can help get rid of the pain.
    The world is full of cretinous weeds who take a delight in offending people knowing they are unlikely to hit back. It's form of verbal bullying and his opinions should be treated as worthless. He has the problem, not you!
    1934 days ago
    Best of luck to you. There always, harsh, loud mouthed people around. It says more about them than it could ever say about anyone else. Thanks for your honesty.
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    1934 days ago
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    1934 days ago
    You have made the right decision my friend. In the past, I too would have hid my head in the sand or my bedroom and avoided life. But to be honest we need each other.

    As for your co-worker, if you can next time he decides to enlighten you on his great knowledge of canines, walk away or if it were me, I would politely ask him to put a sock in his pie hole, because nothing he has to say is of any importantance to you. Ok, that might not be polite enough, but the other ideas I had were way worse. Then I would go home and tell my beautiful pups about this ignorant man you know who...well you know what I mean. The bunch of you will get a hoot out of the conversation. Of course belly rubs at the same time, will keep them interested.

    Have a blessed day my beautiful friend! emoticon because we have each other.
    1934 days ago
    I'm like you in wanting to retreat on blah days, so your blog and the responses are inspiring to me. Thank you for posting. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
    1934 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/7/2013 9:20:14 PM
  • _LINDA
    My nephew thinks exactly the same way as your coworker and is why we 'rescued' Daisy from him. One of the coldest winters on record and Daisy and her pups were left to fend for themselves in an unheated shed with his dad coming over once a day to feed and water them. My Nephew was away finishing up his education. He only got Daisy to breed her and make money off the pups. When we saw the scars on Daisy's face, we were furious. She had been trying to get out of the shed to follow her pups who managed to escape through a hole big enough for them to squeeze through. The pups had good lab double coated fur, but Daisy had a very thin one layer coat. We don't know how she manages to survive in the cold. I probably would have had some very rude things to say to your coworker including he should never be allowed anywhere near a dog. As it is, I have lost a lot of respect for my nephew. He used to be a sweet, caring boy working on the farm chores, but now won't lift a finger to help and expects to be fed and housed with no worries of giving anything back in spite of making a better salary then both his parents combined. He even had the gall to buy chickens, do nothing to look after them or slaughter them, but expected all the profits when they were sold!! I feel sorry for my sister putting up with all the extra work, her full time job and getting no help from her kids what so ever.
    I am assuming your physiotherapist has given you a slew of exercises to help strengthen your lower back (they always do). Keep at them and see if they help.
    As the temperatures dropped and more snow fell today, covering the ice and making it even harder to walk, and spring yet again seeming far, far away and being in a lot of pain, I too, am finding this one of the toughest winters I have ever had to push through. Winter of course, being my worst season when I feel horrible, lose my independence and am shut in with this bloody smoke more often then not. Mom being such a weather wuss, won't allow my to come over if there is the slightest hint of bad weather, never mind the fact she never drives anyway.
    Know you are not alone Susan. Suffering right along with you..
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    1934 days ago
    I'm proud of you for sticking with SP through thick and thin. And Dogs, really??? The first time I've seen my aunt smile in a long time is when we pulled into the drive way tonight from a long day of doctor's appointments and she was greeted by our Springer, Lab/Dane mix, and two beagles.

    Stick with it and we'll be here for you.
    1934 days ago
    Hi emoticon

    You have not given up on yourself. You now know you are the only one that can make it happen for you. You have the power to succeed or fail. You have chosen to succeed.

    Few baby steps complete a long journey

    Writing is progress!!!

    1934 days ago
    That's my girl! No hiding. Put it all out there, otherwise we have no idea how to support you. I love the new background with the kids on it and the spay & neuter sign. Di is leaving my home in April to move to Maine, supposedly, so I am keeping Jackson. She still has not told me she was leaving, but I don't speak to her at all anymore if I don't have to.

    So I have been working with both the boys to have them working together and walking on leashes together so we can go other places to walk. I don't trust either one on a leash right now. And Jackson is so anti-social because she never spends any time with him that I am having to REALLY work hard to rehabilitate him. It will be lots of work, but will keep my mind off my missing man. He's back to Alaska and his kids. I will miss him, but I will also be chatting with him every day. :-)

    I am glad you are reaching out, and love that you have PT now. Work on it and strengthen that lower back as much as you possibly can.
    1934 days ago
    Vent it out. That's what we are here for. You can do it!
    1934 days ago

    Good for you. Sometimes showing up is the hardest part of the battle. Keep logging in here and we will keep supporting you.

    1934 days ago
    You know, you can only choose your reaction, you can't choose what people say. You know a single person might have easily said something similar about children to a person with children. Don't take the comments personally, because they come from ignorance. Pets help people live longer, keep depression at bay, provide companionship, sometimes save their owners, etc. ignorant words don't change any of that!
    1934 days ago
    I don't have animals because when you rent most
    landlords won't allow them. However, I love animals
    and your co-worker is a thoughtless person. I'm so
    sorry that he hurt you. It is easy to say 'just ignore it',
    but it's there, isn't it? I hope you feel better soon.
    1934 days ago
  • SILVER1369
    emoticon Your co-worker and I would not get along at all. My dogs have always been my children and are loved as so. Keep your head up and know that you are not alone. You are doing emoticon . emoticon
    1934 days ago
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    1934 days ago
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