So...from much distress comes much insight. I think this one might be a game changer...I'm hoping so. After my big disappointment on Saturday, I pouted my way through the day and ended up binge-eating in the evening...boo! Sunday, I decided to "get out" and take some time by myself to try to lift my spirits and think about things and find some answers. When I am seeking answers, I gravitate toward books...so much knowledge...the answer has to be there, right?
So, I went to Half Price Books as I had a few gift cards I could spend there. I knew what I was looking for. I needed the answer to one question...How to Be Happy. I try to be a happy person and a positive person. I feel that it is harder for me to "be happy" than for many people and I don't know why. Well, I found this book at Half-Price titled "Happy for No Reason" by Marci Shimoff. She authored the Chicken Soup for the Women's Soul book and several others. She's done a ton of research on happiness and interviewed 100 Happy for No Reason people. And I think I understand some things better now.
The principle behind Happy for No Reason is learning to "be happy" regardless of your circumstances. That sounds GREAT to me. That is exactly what I am looking for. I am tired of having my "bucket tipped over" by things that happen or by the actions or words of others. I want to be more resilient and steady in my emotions. I love that this book talks about how most people are trying to be happy by stringing together pleasurable experiences...like putting beads on a string...but when something bad happens, it "ruins" the necklace...ruins the happiness. Yep, that has been me and what has been happening to me. They explain about being happy within...like the happiness being the "string"...not the beads. Aha! I get that!
Then, it goes on to explain that we have the ability to be happy...no matter what. It is within us. And that we have a "happiness set point." They have a questionnaire that you can go through to determine your happiness set point. I took it and am pretty low...but the good news is that you can raise your happiness set point and they have suggestions of things to work on in order to accomplish that. It works. Today, I was happy all day...for no reason...not because of what was happening around me. As things happened that were annoying or disturbing, I would say to myself, "I am happy...no matter that _____" It worked.
On the way home, it occurred to me that it is kind of like the principle behind the Wizard of Oz. The Lion is wanting Courage...Tin Man wants a Heart...Scarecrow wants a Brain...but what they really needed to do was realize that they already had these things...within them...they possessed them...they just had to go ahead and BE them. I already have happiness...I just have to own it...recognize it...BE it. I don't have to chase it...I HAVE it. I've been chasing after something I already had!
I am wondering if my eating has just been me trying to be happy. I was trying to use food to raise my spirits and be happy. But if I can go ahead and BE happy...then I don't have to chase it...then I shouldn't find myself eating to raise my spirits. This really could be a very big key for me.
I'm continuing to read through this book. I'm only about 1/4 of the way through so far. But I really "get" it. And it's really making sense to me and giving me an aha to this question of "how" to be happy. Really? Just "be" it...huh. Wow. Okay, I think I can do that!
My knees have taken a few days to get over my run on Friday. They went into major sore and stiff mode. Today, they were almost back to normal. I'm going to resume C25K tomorrow or Thursday. Yay!
Hope you all had a great Tuesday! We are expecting a bunch of snow tonight...I guess it's snowing pretty heavily right now. Isn't it March? Hmmm. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on!
P.S. The new granddaughter has not arrived yet. DD is a few days past her due date and getting a little discouraged (so, of course, I've had to share some of my new-found happiness wisdom with her.) Hopefully, she will make her appearance soon!