Tuesday, March 05, 2013

I'm one of those insecure people for whom constant validation is critical. Given a choice between eliminating insecurity and being able to eat whatever I want while being thin and healthy, I'd have a hard time choosing. I've been thin and healthy at several points in my life but each time my insecurities sent me back to the pantry.

I've been agonizing over numbers because they were telling me I should be losing weight faster. I've been consoling myself that the weekly loss is picking up and that the scale will catch up eventually. And finally yesterday, the last weigh-in before my trip, it made a jump.

It was the perfect jump, too. Any lower and I might be discouraged and throw out my discipline during the trip. If I'm that far behind, might as well give up, right? If it were any greater I wouldn't have trusted it or I would have used it as an excuse to slack off during the trip, the I've been working so hard I deserve a break mentality that has killed many a diet. No, this jump brought me within 1/2 pound of where I want to be next Monday. So I feel some relief but also know I need to lose 2.4 lbs in the next 2 weeks if I'm going to keep up with my goal.

At least now I know I'm on the right path and can continue to trust my instincts for a while longer.
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