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agressive runner and jealous loser

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

I really like running. Long distance just seems to fit me. No "racing" no pressure just a nice LONG run. Funny when you train for a marathon you can run 15 miles and not think twice(unless its hilly) I am not fast, I can comfortably run 10 miles at a 9:30 pace, and hope to run a 10:30-11min mile the entire 26.2. Fingers crossed.
My long run route this weekend was 3x around an airfield which=6.5 miles. On my 2nd lap about half way through I noticed a shadow behind me. I moved over and slowed down to let them pass. WELL now. This gal passed and smugly looked at me like she accomplished something! I wanted to scream "Hey I just ran 10 miles with 10 to go"! But didn't. When I noticed her skirt away from a puddle I knew I had to smoke her. I mean really show her up. I passed her on a hill and kept up the pace for 2 miles straight before I looked and noticed she was no where in sight!
Why was I so aggressive? Why did it bother me that she looked at me that way? Maybe she didn't? She was a new runner, I could tell. No its not that I was wearing compression tights and she wasn't, I could just tell. Maybe because marathon training makes you kinda nutty. I couldn't bare to have a newbie pass me when "I" am training for a Full, I mean that is outlandish!!!!! I wake up at 5 am to run so I can run before the kids wake, I run in the rain, I run in snow, I run in wind, I run with a sore foot, I run with a sore knee, I run my driveway circle to get those last few tenths,I run at night, I run , I run , I run. See nutty.

My crazy running behavior made me think. Why am I not this dedicated to my nutrition? I was not so long ago. I made sure I ate something green ant every meal and mayo? My lord NO!
Now I eat like I will never eat again and have actually GAINED weight training! Its so obnoxious. I work out really hard and see zero results. Wait I guess I can run for hours straight emoticon
I wanna be motivated to eat less. Just like that runner I passed. I want that same drive to eat less as I do to run. Motivation, drive is what I need.
I was watching Biggest loser last night and found my self resenting the whole show. I need to lose 20 pounds, not 100 and I cant seem to do it. Maybe i need a ranch?????
I am trying to stay positive, I try not to resent people who seem to lose weight effortlsy. And I do know that I do not look oh so bad. But I need to get a handle on my portions! I am on a taper week so I am going to keep my cals on the lower side. Lets see if it works.

Trying not to hate my body.....even though I know I look so top heavy

Loving when the babies state they wanna run a marathon!

Keeping the girls healthy and active is motivating me to change. I gotta run with them when I am older!

I am cleaning up our long run meals

Grabbing fruit and berries instead of plantain chips

Instead of eating a sleeve of thin mints after my long run, I am opting for a Cliff Chocolate Mint Bar!

Finding new respect for crocs. Ohhh sore feet

Taking the girls for a bike ride AFTER my run!

I have the education and knowledge. Now I just have to insert the drive!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think your appetite is high becuase of the amount you exercise. You probably burn 2000 calories a day just from RUNNING not counting on the other stuff. I've always heard that people gain weight when training for marathons...thats why I think its a good FITNESS goal to have...to run a marathon, but I think it is hard to lose weight because your body needs to eat to sustain the energy needed for that kind of agressive exercise!

    Awesome that you can do it!
    1920 days ago
    i find it so hard to eat responsibly when i am hitting the exercise hard, but i did manage this, have managed this, WILL manage this! keep at it hot mama, just keep going for the sheer joy of running and hopefully the rest will fall into place over time!
    1931 days ago
    Jinkies! I so know what you mean! When I have the time I LOVE LOVE LOVE workingout. I used to get a high from my heavy lifting days and my runs. But the eating, that is a horse of a different color. That is the tiger I can not tame. Dangit! I really want to lose weight and yet I can't seem to rangle in my eating habits. WHY??? It is so frustrating. But I know it is possible. We can do it. It is going to have to be a very focused and intentional action but we can do it!
    1933 days ago
  • DEEDEE1102
    I do the exact same thing. My cardio workouts are great all week, along with the strength training I know I need. But then I sabotage it all by messing up with my eating!! The only way I have found that works for me is to track my food in the nutrition tracker. I think it helps me keep perspective... and I feel better when I have balanced my food with my workouts.
    By the way, I know I've told you this before, but you are such a beautiful person! emoticon
    Have a great day....and stop beating yourself up!!
    1934 days ago
    You are training for a MARATHON!!!!! Training for that and weight loss generally do not go together. I gained during my training and just accepted it, did not like it, but had to accept it.

    When you are done with your marathon, then take a step back and see what can be changed. Having a Cliff bar instead of cookies is a great step.

    I am the same way with Biggest Loser too. It has taken me almost 10 years to lose 92 pounds and needed a doctors help but they just drop 19 in 2 weeks WTF!!!!! But most of the people on that show are not healthier when they are done and most eventually gain the weight back.

    Hang in there and just remember that you are a super athlete and an awesome mother who is teaching her kids that a healthy lifestyle is good.
    1934 days ago
    I wonder if you've looked at cross training with strength. You might find it helps you break through. But you're totally right: weight loss is 80% diet, so hopefully you can get back on track with food. Me, I need to do that too. I'm burning lots and lots, but I'm eating too much :(

    1934 days ago
    emoticon emoticon your very inspiring!!! emoticon
    1934 days ago
    Well you may not find yourself inspiring but you sure are to me! I wish I could run like that. Maybe one day ...
    1934 days ago
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