The question is How will you encourage yourself and keep on track.
So, I'm talking in general, not about the new taking-my-vitamins habit. And this is a perfect topic for me today because my weight this morning is right back up where we started this challenge! no!!! NO!!!!!! And frankly, I don't deserve it. There, I've said it. Yes, I did have a wonderful dinner out Saturday night that included some rolls and some wine and a real grasshopper (made with ice cream!) for dessert but I also chose the scallops instead of the steak and the steamed veggies instead of the baked potato. By my calculations, I had a calorie overage of about 500 calories that day. NOT 7000! I know that the salt alone in restaurant foods will cause the scale to rise but that usually dissipates quickly. We're two mornings after and my lovely and well earned 148 has morphed into 150. That's where I am this morning. Back at square one.
So, yeah, how do I keep on track in the face of that? There is no rhyme or reason to it. Or at least there seems to be none. I error on the side of counting too many calories and I also error on the side of counting too few for exercise. My little fitness trackers agree that I am a very active, high calorie burning machine. And yet, I get 150. As I stood on that scale there was a moment when I thought, "just f*ck it! I give up!". (I am a beast pre-caffeine.) And lately I keep getting these niggling little, fleeting little thoughts coming through my head that being chubby isn't so bad, people kind of expect it of me even. It wouldn't be so bad to go back to size 18, even 20.
But then, I think about her. You know who I mean. You all have a "her", the skinny you, who's out there in the future waiting for you to come by and get her and BE her. Some of you have been her already and strive to be her again. For some of you, for now at least, she's an invention of a better life, a vision of what can come. I've been her for a minute back in the early 2000s. So, I know her. She's cute and wears awesome clothes and feels good about herself and people treat her much differently than people treat me. And she can do amazing things. Because she's healthy and fit and doesn't have extra weight to lug around. She's a size 8 and can go shopping and find ZILLIONS of things that work, instead of coming away with nothing like I usually do. And she's a lovely person. She's not all stressed out about weight and exercising and logging every dam thing she eats. She's learned what she needs to do to stay fit and she does it, not because she's got somewhere she needs to go but because she's there and wants to stay there.
So, that's why I track, I exercise, I agonize, I get pissed off, I make excuses, I fail, I keep looking, I get off my butt and work out. I want to be her. It's that simple.
Want to thank all the Casual Travelers for lavishing me with Spotlight attention yesterday! Was nice!