FRACKTHATNOISE

SparkPoints
 

Day 265: Procrastination

Monday, March 04, 2013

Hey everyone! Here's a quick, overdue, and simple blog.

I've missed you guys.

First reason I've put this blog off: I wanted to do a vlog and show off my new haircut.

It's short and fun. Just look up "Katherine Hegel short hair" and you'll see what it looks like. Now look at me and mentally slap that haircut on me. Yeah, that's right. I look just like Katherine Hegel now :-P

Reason number 2: I got angry.

Angry isn't even the word. I haven't worn my body media for a week (because when it says you've burned 3000 calories and you've consumed 1400 calories and the scale doesn't move it tends to incite rage.) I actually ignored Spark for the same reason.

I'm still ignoring them.

I'm still angry. And, to a certain extent, feeling defeated.

Reason number 3: I'm exhausted.

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. You name it, I feel like I'm running on empty. Not only did I take a week of from the constant tracking I also took a week off from the constant running. I didn't run one mile last week. I thought about it, I felt bad when I didn't; but, I ignored my training. Then I put in 55 hours in the office. Then I got in that terrible fight with my online 'friend.' Then I... yeah, then I imploded.

Reason number 4: I lost two pounds doing all the wrong things.

No running. Eating what I wanted. Feeling crappy. Voilla - two pounds gone. I don't get it. It makes no sense. I'm sure they'll come back.

So, for today I'm more than just a little bit sore. I did run my planned 5K yesterday and finished in the neighborhood of 36 minutes. I also walked for part of it. That run broke my spirit. My brother, having his spirit broken as well, sat down and waited for me to pass him. In effect, he let me win. It was nice of him. As we both said on the car-ride to get victory pancakes (though, it's debatable whether yesterday was a victory or not) 'Ah, yes, not a single Frack was given this day!'

Yesterday I had an appointment with a massage therapist. She totally worked on my lower back and hips. Oh, and my feet. Today I'm sore from it - I'm hoping it's a good sore. After the 10 mile race last weekend where I ran on a sloped road for two hours I could feel my pelvis being out of line - so I decided to go and get myself beat back into shape. (Caution, this may be TMI) - I never knew how much I needed somebody to put there elbow into the muscle of my left buttcheek before; but, I do now.

It's a new week. Depending on how I feel tomorrow morning I may put my BodyMedia back on and start paying attention again. I just wanted to let you guys know I'm still here. I wanted to let you know I'm okay and that I miss sparking along with you all.

I was thinking on the walk in this morning - is this still about the weight, or is it about the race? Because I'm starting to wonder which is more important to me weighing 165 pounds or finishing the half marathon in may.

I think it's the race.

You wouldn't think that the two are mutually exclusive; but, I think that they are.

Have a great day, Sparklers, I hope your spirits are higher than mine!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • POMATOJUICE
    Dude, have you read my blog? I've been eating like sh*t and anywhere between 1600-1800 daily. And I'm losing XD LOLOLOLOL WTTFFFFF

    So maybe.. just maybe! You might need a little break. I'm not saying give up or go crazy, but maybe you aren't quite eating enough. I know the lack of data is really frustrating.. ESPECIALLY when you are trying to get your numbers right and hit that sweet spot for optimal burn. And yeah, it sucks and it's hard to know just how much you are burning on these runs when everything guesstimates a different number for you.

    But...

    It could be possible you need a little more! Do you calorie cycle at all? When I got frustrated, it worked wonders for me. Just pick some random day of the week where you eat like I don't know.. an extra meal's worth of calories! that day, and go back to your reg. calorie ammounts after that.

    I've somehow gotten it into my mind that the past few months have been a giant RESET for me, and that I will magically lose weight like crazy next month. I think there's a good chance I am delusional :p We will find out when my brother leaves!!


    2417 days ago
  • no profile photo A_WISE_WOMAN
    I've been reading that long-distance running may make it more difficult to lose weight due to the release of cortisol (running so much as stress on the body). You may want to check that out. In the meantime, good luck!
    2418 days ago
  • TOFUCUTIEPIE
    Last week is done and this is a brand new one! I am right there with you in dealing with trying to lose weight AND training for the race. I have been super overwhelmed lately and when one of the above things went wrong (and it did along with lots of other things) that makes for some anger, frustration, and tears. I was complaining to my husband about this stuff like 2 or so weeks ago and he told me to just focus on one thing right now and do that well instead of spreading myself over too many other things and only doing those mediocre. He's right. The half marathon is coming up in what, 61 days (sometimes I hate that countdown on the website!), let's focus on that. We have the rest of the year to focus on losing weight.

    I had it in my mind that I would lose 10-15 pounds before race day to improve my running but mostly because I am sick of sitting at the same weight for far too long (almost 2 years!) and never hitting my bit goal weight. I am struggling with trying to train the right way and focus on eating the right foods to sustain my running but also lose weight. I am sucking at both right now so I am picking one for right now, the race. I start PT for my right hamstring on Thursday and have been off of running for too long. I think I have hamstring tendinitis or tendinosis. Either way, it sucks and Dr. Google says I should be resting it for 4-6 weeks. I don't have that much time because I keep needing to take more time off to heal. UGH!

    You can totally do this! Think of how awesome things will be when you cross the finish line on May 5 and are handed a medal for your accomplishment. Think of all the cheering crowds along the race route, all of the fanfare and excitement, all the other runners just like us there for our first half marathon, and filled with such adrenaline and determination. You just did a 10 mile run and you will sail through an additional 3.1.

    emoticon
    2418 days ago
  • GRACEOMALLEY
    Try to view it that these are different aspects of the wonderful combination that comprises you. Things don't have related. You are multifaceted and so are your needs, your wants, your motivators, your life. Sometimes the wheels don't run on the right track, but you can get them back where they belong.. Be patient and keep the faith!

    emoticon emoticon
    2418 days ago
  • REFFIE1
    This is a hard time of year. I seem to be struggling with my motivation as well. Hopefully, with Spring around the corner we will get a burst of motivation and energy. emoticon
    2418 days ago
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