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Things I realized recently

Monday, March 04, 2013

So the first time I was on spark people I started off at 227 pounds and I lost 27 by this point in my journey. I was having a very hard time with things going on in my home life and was extremely stressed out, and really didn't have control over my emotions at all. I also stayed away from desserts with all of my might I did workouts at home and I would go to the park to jog (it was a bit warmer that winter) and then I had a bad week of no energy and I lost my motivation with my weight loss. I also had a very bad week with my brother and all the problems he was causing for my family. I also met my boyfriend at this time and he made me feel pretty and worth loving and I had a very hard time accepting this. So I put off my weight loss goals and efforts for the happiness I felt when I was around him. And I needed it so much more than I thought.

This is my second time on spark people and I started off at 215 and I am at 194.8 right now. I am at the same length of time I was at last time. I have lost only 20 pounds (compared to the 27 before) I workout but not like I did and I can't jog like I used to I don't avoid desserts at all costs like before I feel like I eat more of a variety than I did before. I do have more restrictions this time around so it is making it harder for me to find things that I can eat. I want to workout more than I do but I find it hard to do with my work schedule and I want to spend time with my guy. Tomorrow is our two year anniversary and I have never been in a relationship this long before I am happy with us but I don't think I am happy with myself with my appearance so I decided to try again this year and I am doing pretty well. I wish he was a little better on the support system than he is but I am working on it. He has also kind of fallen off the wagon and no matter what I do I can't seem to get him yo go back to the gym with me so I feel a bit like a failure but I keep trying and I am trying to make sure I go.

I definitely feel like I am in a better place than I was the first time around and I don't have to hide my weight loss efforts this time around which has definitely helped my mental state this time. I can see the differences I just hope I can keep going this time. I need to make I tap into my can do powers and find my motivation to keep going and stay in the fight even when the going gets hard. I haven't had a real bad week yet but its bound to happen. Just gotta make sure I can get up and dust myself off this time around. I have better support so should be easier.

The main goal for myself is to finally be happy with me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Just be patient and do this in baby steps when you feel less motivated. Maintaining some momentum is easier than allowing none.
    1907 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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