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The Desperation Illusion

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Some years ago I typed a handout for an ObGyn that really got my attention. He was telling women with urinary incontinence that the desperation to empty their bladder was often in their heads. If you don’t believe it, the next time you are rushing for the toilet after a long car drive, take notice how the closer you get, the stronger your urge. By the time you’re dropping your drawers, you can barely hold it back. Pause and look that desperation in the eye, and you will see that it evaporates.

Likewise many of us face the desperation to eat when we’re not hungry. We’ve learned the triggers – stress, boredom, excitement, happiness, depression, night time, daytime, pretty much anything. That desperation plagued me again last night, leading me to eat a sandwich, crackers, peanut butter, shaved ice, on and on. The closer to bedtime, the more desperate I became, and I could never find satisfaction.

We fight that desperation. We tie ourselves up in knots and berate ourselves; we feel deprived and angry and self-destructive. But last night I did something I’ve never done before. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and looked at the desperation itself. And ya’ know what? It dissolved like a mirage. Such a relief! I felt calm and relaxed for the first time that day.

I’ve not been doing so well with my eating lately. After losing 112 lbs, I’ve regained 14. There’s no mystery about why. I’ve been eating way too much of the wrong things. I’ve blown the last months of my gastric bypass “honeymoon period” as I hit the 18 month mark on March 15. But I’ve got some new help using SparkPeople to log my food and exercise and find support. And I have a new outlook – facing down that demon desperation who is no more real than the monster under my bed.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    glad to have you here!!

    1873 days ago
    Wow, how does one LOOK AT DESPERATION?
    I am so going to try that next time.
    You hang in there, and congratulations on the wonderful weightloss you have already achieved.
    Bless you

    Lovely first blog by the way...keep writing
    1873 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/4/2013 1:04:22 AM
    1873 days ago
  • KTREK32
    I can really relate to you and the desperation that you talk about I fight every day to not give into the desperation that I feel for food. I feel right now that I have been getting it alittle more in control and it is true the only way is to sit back and think about the desperation feeling and hold off for a few minutes and the urge subsides. Welcome to Spark people

    1874 days ago
  • IDGET16

    Welcome to sparkpeople, I find whenever I lose sight of my health and forget to take time out for ME I need to log back on and get myself under control. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me!
    1874 days ago
    Welcome to sparks. Please don't give up. Here you will find lots of rescources, motivation, and encouragment. Make all the new friends you can to cheer you on. People to talk to when you feel like giving in. You can do this.
    Drop by for a visit sometime.

    1874 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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