4,000-5,499 SparkPoints 5,102

Oh What A Day! Suggestions box is open

Saturday, March 02, 2013

Today was one of the worst days I have had in a long time. I was reminded once again of why I am inferior to my husbands family and it was painful.
My in laws came to town today to trade vehicles with my husband and take everyone out to eat to celebrate 3 birthdays as my father in law is having surgery this week and traveling is out for quite some time.
When we arrived my father in law spoke to my son(probably because he felt he had to) and my husband but did nothing to acknowledge my presence. My mother in law did not even acknowledge me or my son nor did his grandparents. I got a "Hi" from someone, I can't remember who it was now, but that was it. In the past I have been greeted with a hug and a "how are you?" Not today. I have lost so much weight and have been writing like crazy and yet neither accomplishment has been acknowledged. Why? You may ask. My best explanation is this: That entire family is devoutly Catholic and I was raised Protestant. My husband didn't marry a nice Hispanic Catholic girl(his mother and her family are Hispanic, his grandparents came from Mexico when they were children) so they could raise Catholic grandbabies. I have nothing, NOTHING, against the fact that my husband is half Hispanic and Catholic. His dad comes from a German family. His dad's mother came to America after World War II when both her parents were killed in Nazi Germany. She raised my father-in-law and his brother by herself as she and her husband separated when the boys were young. My husbands father is a hot shot big wig at Chevron. Yes he has worked hard to get where he is but treating me the way he does is uncalled for. Yes he is wealthy and no I don't act like I come from a well-to-do family but I do. I was raised in a modest middle class home. Both my grandfathers were businessmen and died very wealthy men but I haven't seen any of that money and won't until after my parents die. I'm in no hurry as I'd like to keep my parents around for awhile so their grandson can enjoy them and they can enjoy him. I'm tired of being treated like a second class citizen. My mother is a teacher and my dad is in the insurance industry. My parents divorced when I was 17 and I was previously married and divorced myself. Both my parents have remarried and are happier for it. My father-in-law is considering buying a new vehicle this year and when my husband suggested he give us the vehicle he has now he flatly rejected that idea. He said the one who will get that vehicle will be my husbands brother who is in the military. I have nothing against that either but the fact is that the vehicle will sit parked at a military base somewhere and not be used. We could use a vehicle like that b/c we have my son and our 2 dogs that need to be transported and that vehicle is perfect for us. My husband rejects the idea that it has to do with me but I'm almost sure of it. Things that have happened in the past have shown me that this is the case. His dad doesn't think how things will affect us as a family just what is best for him and it's very insulting to say the least. Last week was a perfect example. He told my husband he had to bring his car to the repair shop himself in Houston so that he could be the one to tell them what was wrong. What they failed to take into account is that I still had class the next day including a test that if I had taken more time I would have scored higher but I was trying to finish quickly so I could get home and relieve my husbands grandmother who had so graciously offered to watch my son while I went to class. This should have never happened b/c my husband should have told his parents to meet him halfway and trade vehicles so they could take it b/c I still had class and that was an inconvenience for us. But he went and left me alone overnight. We survived but that's not the point. I almost think that if my husband and I were to split up and get divorced that they would go to doing for him just like they did for his brothers.
Then to make matters worse my sons father says he wants him for Spring break visitation. I wouldn't have a problem with this except he hasn't seen the child for 2 months! He never calls to talk to him and very rarely sees him. And my son told me tonight that when he was there for Christmas he had to scream and cry to come home when he did b/c they weren't going to let him go home until their days were up. Argh! Not good timing b/c my mother and my sister want to come and visit during that week too. All I can hope for is that my son will come home early and still get to see his grandmother and his aunt. They haven't seen him since Christmas. I'm glad his dad wants to be part of his life but I wish he would be more consistent.
For those of you still reading this novela thank you and please feel free to leave your comments. Suggestions on how to improve these situations is greatly appreciated.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hang in there! Sending positive and loving thoughts your way...
    1909 days ago
    Amanda, those are not the best circumstances and I am so sorry! Maybe they haven't brought up your weight loss because they are jealous that they can't make those changes...it seems petty but I have encountered that from people who I had been friends with for a long time. As for the in-laws thats a hard things and ultimately you have to make choices you can live with. All you can do is be nice,and take the rest for what it is. Sometimes people just don't get along and their personalities clash...nothing you can really do about it except accept it and make the best of it that you can.
    1909 days ago
  • BECCA315
    I am sorry that you're having these in-law inssues. Please don't let the way they treat you convince you that you're not good enough for their son, or for their grandchild. Just do the best you can, and hopefully, they'll eventually come around. I still get the feeling that Ed isn't good enough for my dad, because he didn't go to college like some of the other sons-in-law, but he works hard and provides for me and the boys. So I know how hard it is when you don't feel you live up to someone else's expectations. Have you tried talking to your hubby about how you feel? Becca
    1909 days ago
  • HOLLY404040
    I use a rolling walker and mother in law thinks I'm too slow and make her nervous when I walk. I just think she does not know how to act and does not know what she does. It was worse for both hubby and myself after he said something to her. I get around it by just sending hubby to see her. She forgets about me. I see her a few hours every four years or so. Life is too short for such stress.

    1910 days ago
  • JO88BAKO
    Oh dear, and I thought I had inlaw troubles. I feel so very bad for you. I guess just try and be nice to them. They may never come around. It's their loss. Good luck and God bless you!
    1910 days ago
    No suggestions but prayers for your family. emoticon
    1910 days ago
    Don't take it personally, you cannot change anybody so just ignore these people as best you can.
    1910 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.