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Very Bad Day...

Friday, March 01, 2013

I am not doing well at all. All my son's tests came back negative. He is totally denying anorexia/bullimia. But, we are fairly certain that is what it is. He is down to 110 lbs. he checked himself out of the hospital this afternoon. I told his girlfriend he needed to stay there - she gave him a ride home (he is too weak to drive or even walk that far). He is barely speaking to me (answers texts with one word) and will not speak at all to husband. When the Dr asked my son last night if he ever threw up food my son looked the Dr in the eye and said "no". My husband said that was not true and now my son won't speak to him. My husband is completely crushed, but I am so proud of him. It had to be said.

My husband and I called a support line. We can hire a lawyer to prove my son isn't thinking correctly and make him go to a treatment center. My son was talking about going to John Hopkins next. I researched and they have an eating disorder clinic. They can't see my son unless he approves, but if he is down there at least we will have a head start.

Me? I have been crying all day. I had a hard time keeping it in during my mammogram this morning and didn't go to work. I can't handle them questioning me right now. I am going to go in tomorrow when no one is there.
I also am having a real hard time researching eating disorders. Most info is directed at females or losing weight. My Facebook, Spark, apps - everything on losing weight! No wonder many people are underweight and having issues!

I feel like my son is going to die and I can't stop it! I never thought I would have to think about him on life support, talk to him about a will, where to bury is too much!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hope things are better for you. I did say a prayer.
    1904 days ago
    Pobrecita! I am so sorry for what you are enduring. I know how helpless you feel. I also have an adult child who is killing themselves slowly and it is hard to watch. As parents we should have a lot more rights to protect our adult children when they can no longer take care of themselves. It is such a feeling of helplessness. Thank God you have your husband. Stay strong.
    1905 days ago
    Have just logged onto Sparkpeople and seen this blog. I am so sorry that you're going through this. Bulimia is an absolute b**** and it's hard to beat, but with loving parents like you and your husband, he'll make it through. It takes patience, but you'll all get there in the end.

    1906 days ago
  • MAGGIE805
    I am so sorry for you and what you must be going through. I can't imagine how difficult and painful this must be. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon
    1906 days ago
  • CHERRY666
    I'm so sorry your son, you and your family are going through this. Just so you know, I had severe bulimia when I was younger, but over time I overcame it. . . It's possible. (And, really, it had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to be thin or anything like that. I just didn't know how to deal with my emotions and that was a way to suppress them temporarily. I don't know if that's what is going on with your son -- we're all different -- I'm just saying my story.)

    1906 days ago
    Hey--I'm so sorry to hear about this! I'm going to say special prayers for your boy and I''m sorry that you are going through such a challenging time.
    Life can be hard at times--I know its easier said but keep the faith and stay strong for your son. I'm really going to be praying.
    1906 days ago
    I am so sorry to read about the challenges you are facing with your son's health over the last month. It sounds like you and your husband have a very good idea about what his health problems are stemming from. Unfortunately, we see anorexia/bulimia as a female disorder but that is fast changing with more males being diagnosed now too. It is so tough to see our loved ones struggle and my heart goes out to you. Know that you are in my prayers. I prayer that God will be your and your husband's source of peace, hope and courage during this difficult time. I pray for your son that he will be given wisdom to make the right choices to get the medical help he needs. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    1906 days ago
    I am sorry you are going through this. I will pray for you and your family and hopefully your son can get the help that he needs. No one should have to bury their own child.
    1906 days ago
    You and your family are in my prayers. What a difficult time you are having. I'm so glad to hear that both you and your husband are not in denial and I'm so sorry your son is. He must be terrified. Tell him to kick out the bad thoughts when they come and focus on his dreams and plans. Stay strong and don't give up. He's mad at you because he knows you are right.

    I hope for some positive news and I'm so glad you are posting. This is why Spark People is here. XO Sharon
    1906 days ago
    I cannot begin to know the hell you are living through. Your son doesn't admit it to himself, but he needs you now. Please remember to take care of yourself so you can take care of him.

    If it is too hard to face in its entirety, maybe it will help to focus on one step at a time? You are doing the right next step -- focus on getting him into treatment.

    We are all here for you!

    1906 days ago
    I am so sorry to read what you're going through. I will keep you and all your family in my thoughts and prayers. It's much more stressful to be the one doing the worrying because you feel so helpless watching what you can't control. I pray your son will go to John Hopkins and accept the help they can give him. emoticon
    1907 days ago
    I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.
    1907 days ago
    Thoughts and prayers are with you. My flippant status about "forever" was pretty much my jaded view that even if we were out of current areas of conflict, our men and women would be serving "somewhere" around the globe, as they are still in Germany, Japan, Korea, etc. When compared to your concerns for your son's health, this pales.

    So hugs, thoughts and prayers, my dear. So sorry for your pain and anguish... a mom feels it more for her children than even for herself.
    1907 days ago
  • SOSHIV2011
    PRAY. Hang in there. There is divine will in everything. WE do not have controls (though we would like to think that everything is in OUR control). PRAY.
    When we think of "our" is not really "our" child at all...they are souls assigned to us. Though we think and get attached to the beings thinking they are "ours".
    Have faith that nothing, absolutely NOTHING is going to happen to your son.

    Do EVERYthing in your power. Make all attempts. Talk to your son. THEN LET GO.


    1907 days ago
  • ANGIE121
    I am so sorry you are going thru this ....I cant imagine your fear ....I will pray for your son, I wish there was something i could say to make it better! I am a mom so, can relate there....and I would be very scared....God bless you and your family
    1907 days ago
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