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Time to face the fear

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Feeling chaotic today, thousand things running through the mind all at once all day. I imagine the scene to be not unlike Pamplona in July. Trying to slow down and isolate the thoughts so as to tackle each task in its turn, but I’ve been unsuccessful so far. Wonder if sleep is the cure? Then again, it’ll be a while before I get there, since the Red Wings have a west coast game tonight.

Looks like I was right in my thinking about taxes, but in trying to fill out the Michigan W-4, I noticed that it required a driver’s license number. A Michigan driver’s license number. So off I went to the Secretary of State’s office (a half mile away), where I learned they don’t take Visa. Where I also learned that I needed a couple of forms of proof of address, and maybe a birth certificate. I’m not entirely sure what that last thing is for, unless Michigan passed a law against undocumented immigrants having driver’s licenses. Long story short, no new driver’s license for me today. Tomorrow, maybe, if I can track down a copy of that certificate. License plates will have to wait until I get my car insurance transferred over to Michigan. Apparently, proof of insurance isn’t enough, I have to have Michigan insurance for Michigan plates. Maybe this was a requirement when I switched from Michigan to Wisconsin plates, but since that previous switch was 10 years ago, I don’t recall that detail. Pain in the backside, anyway.

I am not a hardcore gamer, but I do spend some time playing stuff, whether on PC or on line. An obsession of mine from 2011 and intermittently since, CivWorld (Facebook game from the people who made the Civilization series; I was in on the Alpha, and got to chat with Sid Meier in game once. Thanked him for 20+ years of entertainment ) just announced they were closing down the game soon. Kinda sad, but the game never caught on well, too many issues trying to monetize and facebook-ize the Civilization ethos, sacrificing a lot of the stuff that made that series what it is. Still too bad, I enjoyed Civworld for what it was, and have a few more internet friends as a result of playing it.

Listening to the incredible Tears for Fears album “Songs from the Big Chair” album, for the first time in way too long, and I’m struck, as I always am, by the song “The Working Hour”. Now, if you think about that album, you’re going to think of such huge hits as “Shout”, “Head over Heels” and “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” and even “Mother’s Talk”. But if you ask me, the best song on the record is “The Working Hour”.
The track is a comment on capitalism, from the viewpoint of the worker feeling like a guinea pig for bosses, and feeling the pressure from above, fearful of losing his job.


This is the working hour
We are paid by those who learn by our mistakes
And fear is such a vicious thing
It wraps me up in chains
Find out
Find out
What this fear is about

But in light of having been unemployed for a year, and on the verge of jumping into a whole different experience from any I’ve had before, I’m seeing the words in a different light today. Guess I have to embrace the fear of the unknown, the fear of regaining the weight I’ve lost, and just get through it, not let it become a “vicious chain” binding me. Kind of looking forward to the challenges.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I was unemployed.
    I lost a lot of weight.
    I got a job.
    I regained some weight.
    I had to recalculate and plan differently.
    I started losing again.
    As they say... if I can do it... you can do it.
    (Just fight through the initial panic should you gain a couple pounds due to inactivity and/or work-stress-relieving-snacking). You have every day of the rest of your life to practice being good to yourself.
    1874 days ago
    1874 days ago
  • MARTY728
    1874 days ago
    real freedom is letting go of fear! You can do it!
    1875 days ago
    Fear is a useful tool - it generally means we're doing something new, and our minds want to make sure we know that. The cool thing is, you don't have to be afraid of those things because your weight is totally under your control, and entering a new phase of your life is something you can control your reaction to!

    Keep your head up (and the Tears for Fears playing!)
    1875 days ago
    I dread every time I have to go to Secretary of State. I always forget that they don't take visa.
    1875 days ago
    Tears for Fears -- awesome!
    1875 days ago
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