5,500-6,999 SparkPoints 6,055

"And I'm Back in the Game!"

Thursday, February 28, 2013

So I've been doing a really horrible job at waiting to weigh myself lately. Usually I dread weighing myself, but the last couple of weeks I've actually liked it (say whaaaat??)! I'm finally seeing those numbers going down again and I'm always looking forward to seeing them go down more. I know that I need to be sure that if the number does go up a little that I don't let it get to me and just keep plugging away and it will go back down.

I've been drinking my pink drink (Plexus) and have also been trying to walk more and also have been watching what I eat a lot more consistently. I've also been drinking my water which I think has made a HUGE difference! I'm starting to gain a little more self confidence again which I really needed. I checked my goal progress and I'm actually about 6 pounds ahead of the game!!! Its only 6 pounds, but it makes me feel like I finally have some extra footing and I'm not struggling to keep my head above water.

I've had to let go of some of my "what-if" fears when it comes to losing all of this weight- its been causing me to self-sabotage a lot. I'm SO afraid of the extra skin- I'm trying to be sure that I don't lose weight too quickly and also doing strength training exercises so keep that in check the best I can. I'm also not particularly looking forward to any extra attention. Yes, its nice when people notice that you're losing weight and comment on that, but I don't really want the "unwanted" attention that I might get as a result. Granted, I don't go out to the bars like I used to, and I work with almost all females, and the males that I do work with are either married or gay haha so it limits the "negative" attention to a certain extent. Also, I don't know how I'm going to feel about getting that positive attention that I'm not exactly used to. I wish that other people didn't base their desire to interact with someone else based on how they look- but I know that it happens. I guess I just don't want someone's attention if they weren't willing to give it to me now as I am. I am looking forward to feeling more attractive and more confident and am also hoping that it might help my current relationships (specifically the one with "The Boy") get stronger. Anywho...I don't have much more to ramble about right now... I just have to keep telling myself that change is a good thing even though its sometimes feared and not exactly wanted, sometimes change can be the best thing to happen to someone (me).

Until Next Time emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Don't be afraid of being awesome!! Great job so far. be the best you you can be and the rest will fall into place!
    1906 days ago
    I am proud of all the changes you've made! You are definitely on the right track and inspire me to keep pushing through. :)
    Also, don't worry too much over things you cannot control. I STILL struggle with this one, but the more that I let go the happier I am. As long as you don't lose weight too quickly & strength train you should have no problem with the extra skin. I worried about that in the beginning and that is exactly what I personal trainer told me. That we are young and our skin still has a lot of elasticity. As long as we don't drop tons of weight in a short period of time it will work with us.
    I have been on the side where I worked out 7 days a week for hours on end, but I realized it wasn't something I could maintain for my life. I try to do something active every single day. If it is just going on a walk then that will be okay with me. Sometimes it is 90 min of cardio in the gym or climbing a mountain trail. The key all of this is changing your lifestyle to FIT YOU. Do what you are going to be able to maintain FOR LIFE. I got a slap in the face when I realized I couldn't maintain it forever and ended up going in the other direction (30 lbs) :( However, I am digging myself out and proving that it is possible. I love that I have the control to do what is best for me. Don't worry about what others think of you or the way they will perceive you/ attention. When you are at goal you will realize that negative people have NO PLACE in your life. I've learned I have to weed out negative people from my life in order to succeed. I hope I didn't ramble on too much and this help!
    1906 days ago
    I just had a thought. Is it possible that your fear of getting "unwanted" male attention might be coming from a fear that you might regain the weight and then lose someone who you have developed an attachment to during your skinny phase? Or perhaps the fear that you still won't be "good enough," even if you are "skinny?"

    If so, I wanted to let you know that I have those same fears. If I feed those fears, they blossom into catastrophic thinking that ends with, "Well, why bother." Just focus on your day to day improvement and how you feel better and look better and developing new habits, routines and lifestyle changes. Let this other stuff sort itself out as it comes.

    1906 days ago
    "I guess I just don't want someone's attention if they weren't willing to give it to me now as I am."
    Totally know what you mean.
    Don't worry too far ahead about unwanted extra attention, and remember that most people are kinda stupid with their words sometimes. If you get a strange compliment, just smile and walk away. I had an older man tell me that I am "the reason why perverts go to Victoria's Secret". LOL What a horribly awkward compliment!!!
    1906 days ago
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