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March - Oh am I Glad that Spring is Just Around the Corner

Thursday, February 28, 2013

February and I have not been very good friends this year. I started out the month ok. Even Valentines Day wasn't horrible. But the winter blues kicked in something fierce these past 2 weeks and I was in such a down hill spiral.

Even being aware of what was happening didn't helped. I tried all the good self talk. I came on to Spark and read some wonderful blogs. - Heck I even bought a new car (not that I believe in retail therapy, but I was desperate). I was so grasping at anything that could pull me out from under that black cloud that was over me. Anyway, I am not going to dwell on it, but just a couple days of medication have really helped. And I spent all day last Saturday out in my garden. Today I finally feel like I can face the world and see what the damage has been.

My nurse practitioner retired this year and she was a personal friend as well as someone who understands depression- having lived through it herself for many years. She told me that she would feel like a big huge black veil would be laid over her for months at a time and it would take a lot of light therapy and medication to help her come out of the fog. Thank goodness I recognized what she was talking about. It is not a fun place to be, and not a healthy place to live.

So I hopped on the scale this morning and I am up 3 pounds. 3 pounds is ok. I won't beat myself up over 3 pounds. And I haven't undone all of my hard work except for the weight lifting. It has been 3 weeks since I lifted any weights, so I will have to go back down to 5 pounds again. I have kept up my walking, but not at the pace that I was going. I think I averaged 6000 steps a day. So I plan to pick up that pace again and get my strut back on.

Now I have a few days to pull myself back together and catch up on my Spark friends. I hope you all are doing great.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well, the main thing is your are feeling better and haven't given up! So many times when people feel like that, they just give in to it and go hog wild and gain tons of weight back. I have depression, coupled with an anxiety disorder (some days I am pulled in all different directions) and I sympathize with you-it can be tough at times!
    Love your tulips on the of my fave bulbs!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog last week. I need to write a new one! Keep sparking along! emoticon emoticon

    1896 days ago
    I've been missing you so am very happy you are back. I know that black veil only too well. I call it a black cloud, too, and it comes down to my shoulders. Winston Churchill called it his 'black dog' ~ we all have the 'black' part down pat. That is just what it is ~ no matter how light and wonderful it is 'out there', inside 'here' it is black and gloomy. I am so glad you are feeling better. emoticon

    I've been lucky ~ I am on a different medication that is really helping me. Plus, our winter has been pretty wonderful. Very little snow and what we did have melted quickly. Adding meditation to my life, as well as a steady diet of Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle has helped tremendously. It will be so wonderful to have longer days, however, and more of the light that we crave. emoticon

    I am, also, happy to hear that you are not going to get 'down' about 3 lbs. I know that seems to be a lot when we are trying to lose weight ~ but in the greater scheme of things, it is nothing ~ and will be 'off' again before you know it. :) I've been slacking in the exercise department, too ~ and had to give myself a HUGE kick in the arse last week. We will both get better as time goes by and spring emoticon and blessed daylight comes back.

    Big hug and I'm so glad you are back. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1905 days ago
    Winter sure has been long this year. I am feeling a black cloud over me too, and I am thinking its partly the weather. Hopefully as the earth comes back to life so will we.
    1907 days ago
    I've noticed you've been really quiet. Missed you. 3 pounds after that isn't bad - very manageable. Unfortunately, I've gained more than that! emoticon I suffer from winter blues, too, and I think that's why I've been struggling so the past two months (in addition to the stress). I have somewhat come to the conclusion that winter is not a good time for me to lose weight and going forward, I may just allow January and February to be maintenance months. I think I could handle that better. Anyway, hugs, and glad you see some light at the end of the tunnel.
    1908 days ago
    emoticon glad the veil is lifting! sunshine ahead! emoticon
    1908 days ago
    1908 days ago
    Oh I so understand .. winter depression has been a 'way of life' for me for many years. When I started SP in November, one of my goals was to get outside of the cycle. And so far, it is working. Here are some things that have worked for me: 1st .. Increased Vitamin D .. under the doc's supervision I've really increased my vit D intake with drops, and it really helped. 2nd .. Get outside every single day and walk (even in the frequent snow storms). My pace picks up as the roads out here in the country melt, but just being out and using my little inexpensive 'step measuring device' has really helped my attitude. For me, three times a day is easiest because the time flies. And, 3rd .. setting realistic goals and not beating myself up when I take a day off. I've given myself permission to have one day a week that is 'mine'. Now, the changes in eating habits are permanent for me, and big slips are very rare. But I know that as I move forward, this is about changing my life .. not about winning some race. Wishing you a FABULOUS March (in March). It's one day at a time! HOORAY for YOU! emoticon
    1908 days ago
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