Day 253 - A Rant Unrelated to Weight or Healthy living

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Good Morning Sparklers.

For the first time in a very long time I lost sleep last night over an argument.

It gets more ridiculous. I lost sleep over an argument with someone I have never personally met.

Like a lot of people on this site I'm pretty "Online Social." I meet people through networks and we have those cursory sort of friendships where we comment on blogs and know quite a bit about one another's lives. Sometimes those friendships are more than cursory and feel more genuine than others I have in my life.

Last night I got into an argument with a friend I'd made from a group I met at DragonCon. This guy, I thought, was pretty cool. He was always cheering on my running posts and I liked a lot of what he put up. Really, I was looking forward to catching up at DragonCon.

Well, last night I have to say I experienced the most cruel, angry exchange of my adult life.

Here's a snippet:

"You are petty and sad. Adele celebrated the greatest night of her career by bringing down the house with her here talent and poise.
You were petty and small by attacking her f(-)cking choice of nail polish.
Rather than celebrate her talent and accomplishment, you chose to attack her.
The only thing you could complain about was her FINGER NAIL POLISH.
You are pathetic and small."

That's right - I made a comment about Adele's nailpolish and this guy lays into me with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.

Why's it bother me so much?

Because it makes me worry that something must be going on in his life. That there must be something so very, very wrong with him for him to lash out over my comment of "The only thing Adele did wrong last night was that nail polish!" like that... well, it makes me worry.

I keep telling myself that this is someone I hardly even know - yet, it hurts.

I actually allowed someone to let me feel pathetic and small over a joke. I actually worry for this person.


I'm a tangled web of emo-ness.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That is the trouble with electronic communication. People flame and rant and say things that they would never say to your face. No one can see each other's facial expressions and catch whether they are joking are not.

    I guess you can choose to tell him how you feel or just drop him because he is too hurtful. From the way you are writing some closure has to happen of some sort. He may have been supportive in the past but you have no idea who this person is unless you have met him in person. Who knows what baggage and burdens he is carrying. I can tell you one thing, he is overidentifying with Adele. I don't really think she needs protection from comments about her nails. She can console herself by enjoying her Oscar LOL!

    Don't let someone's unthoughtful and overboard comments rent any more space in your mind. The meaness has already taken up too much of your time and there are plenty of supportive and nice friends to take his place. emoticon
    2425 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/27/2013 1:18:59 PM
  • no profile photo A_WISE_WOMAN
    In reading the part of his end of the conversation, frankly, I don't see much more than someone having some button pushed. Maybe he was feeling overwhelmed at that time. Maybe he was needing to hear something that would make him laugh. Maybe he thought that you were the sort of person who wouldn't say such a thing (I'm not judging your comment here; just trying to give a different perspective). Maybe he had just spent the day listening to people complain about each other and this just sounded like more of the same to him.

    There are so many ways that misunderstandings can occur. It seems that you're feeling surprised and betrayed; you thought he was a better friend than that. Or maybe a person who doesn't say things like that. Or maybe that he knew you better. Do you feel like, since he had been cheering you on, a source of support may be withdrawn? I know that I have people that I've come to count on as cheerleaders. With those people, turning around and calling me names would be multiple times worse, because I feel vulnerable, allowing myself to need them (actually their approval) on a deep emotional level. With anyone else, well, if they want to be that way...

    And just a question: Are you genuinely worried about him, or is the worry about someone else easier to deal with than the hurt you are feeling? I would suggest that you untangle your own feelings before you have the clarity to decide what to do about another person...

    This isn't easy. Learn the lessons, and come out of it stronger and happier than before!

    2425 days ago
    I hope things get better and maybe he will tell you what's on his mind. emoticon
    2425 days ago
    Sometimes not really knowing someone can bring on a more than necessary intense response. He may not have known that it was a joke.

    case in point, just last week I was very annoyed with my local newsperson because he did a story on Rhianna debuting a new fashion line and followed up with the comments that "at least she's in the new for something not negative for change" and "did you know she's afraid of fish? That's dumb to be afraid of fish if you grew up on an island". I found the ad lib comments to be very unprofessional and unwarranted. There are so many positive things he could have said. Now, I didn't send him a nastygram but I did call him stupid and petty from the comfort of my family room.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much.
    2425 days ago
    I get into internet fights sometimes too :X They always make me feel bad. When I was younger, (highschool), there was a certain rush of adrenaline with internet fights. Now I just feel dread in the pit of my stomach if there's going to be conflict. Yup. I've wussed out over the years.
    2425 days ago
    It definitely sounds like either a) he has something negative going on in his life and he's lashing out at who he can reach, or b) he's ridiculously obsessed/in love with Adele and will defend her to the death, like that 'Leave Britney Alone' guy. My guess is the former.
    2425 days ago
  • L1ZB3TH354
    You care, that's why you worry about a person you hardly know. He is probably thinking he over reacted. Feel better, hugs!
    2425 days ago
    2425 days ago
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