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Weigh in, measurements, frustration, feeling better and more random randomness

Monday, February 25, 2013

So tomorrow is my birthday. I am going to be 37... three years away from 40...

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Ok so its not that bad.... reallllllllly....

But it is quite eye opening to see that in three years I will be crossing another decade down. There is something pivotal about the year 40. To some, it is the year of the midlife crisis. God, I don't want to be THERE. Rather, I want to be celebrating life. Thrilled to be at that point.

Buuuuuut, for now, I think I will just focus on 37. Humph, 37 is kind of a boring number. Just hanging out between 35 and 40. Nuthin' special.

Or is it?

I have designated TWENTY THIRTEEN as MY year. The year to make my goals a reality. The year I am not going to take for granted. I am going to make it happen and achieve it. My goal WILL happen.

I had an interesting conversation with my husband this weekend. After I weighed in (gaining a whopping 1.6 WTFFFFFFFFF?!!! emoticon ) I was a tad bit grumpy. I had a pretty decent week minus a bit of cake for my oldest son's birthday and a cookie or two, I had a good week. Opting for a baked potato and chili on the day my husband wanted Wendy's even (yeah, you heard me right, I said NO to the Spicy Chicken deliciousness and french fry deliciousness). But still I gained.

Needless to say, I was a bit grumpy.

Husband: What's wrong?
Me: I weighed in this morning
Husband ducking: And?
Me: I gained a #$%&ing pound and a half!
Husband (still ducking and getting ready to sprint): have you ever considered that maybe you're at your happy weight?
Me: No. I don't accept that.

See, this is where I stand at the moment -- I am at a crossroads. I can do one of two things. I can do what I did all last year when the scale pissed me off and flip the switch and say I am done with the scale, I am done with tracking, I am done with all of this! Turn back to intuitive eating.

(((yeah, see where that gets me?)))

Or I can look at it this way: that doesn't work for me. If it isn't working, what can I do to change it?

I have cleaned up my diet considerably. I am not 100% no sugar (who does that minus Superwoman, really?) but I am making a HUGE point to get the refined stuff out of my kitchen. I have cleared out the white, delicious Jasmine rice and have been consuming things like long grain brown rice, quinoa, brown basmatti, whole wheat pasta. I have thrown out any white breads/buns/pastas/etc and have whole wheat (the REAL whole wheat stuff) bread and pasta, I am limiting the amount of fruit I am eating and eating a hell of a lot of veggies, complex carbs and proteins. I am tracking the crap out of everything I am eating (with the exception of this weekend) because, quite honestly, numbers just don't lie. I am eating every 2 1/2 to 3 hours to keep the system chugging along. Lots of H2O..........

The way I see it is this: what I have been doing up until this point hasn't been working for me. Getting frustrated, hiding under the intuitive eating, running from the scale and food trackers... it doesn't get me anywhere because here I am, still frustrated. Cleaning up my diet, however, *is* making the difference. I forgot how much better I feel all over when I eat clean, it is like a night and day huge difference. It is like trying to run a car on insufficient fuel. Why would someone want to put crappy, sludgy, mucky, gunky stuff into their dream automobile? Taking the same analagy, that really is what food is all about. Fuel. Feed it crappy, sludge, mucky, gunky stuff and that is how the system will respond, putting along, not doing what it is supposed to do.

Clean it up, put it on premium, high grade octane and it will perform better, faster and stronger.

I workout hard, probably not as hard as some, but harder than others I would suspect. Why not complete the equation and up the ante with eating the proper foods to support my workouts. I am proof positive that "just working out" isn't going to change or reshape one's physique.

Alright, enough with the analogies. Really, but that is how it is.

I weighed. I got pissed. I measured. I felt better. Things really are looking up.

Somebody remind me to break out the measuring tape when I weigh in because as we ALL know, the scale is the ultimate false idol. In a week and a half of eating clean, I am down almost three inches (.25 on my hips, 1 on my thighs and .5 on my abductors). True, not the most astonishing of numbers, but considering that has been in about two weeks, I'll take it.

I started the Lean Phase of ChaLEAN today which is hands down, my absolute favorite phase and now I sit here wondering what in the heck I am supposed to do after these four short weeks are over? I watched the infomercial for Jillian's Body Revolution and it looks fun. Maybe stepping away from heavy weights for awhile and going to a more circuit based approach would be good? I am reading The New Rules of Lifting for Women and that book speaks to me a lot. I might look at that and just doing my own thing? Jamie Eason's 12 Week Trainer? Maybe. Not sure about all the supplements on that one. We'll see.

I finished Your Best Body Now by dear Tosca and highly recommend that one. I have Master Your Metabolism by Jillian to read next. I guess at this point I am collectively gaining knowledge on all fronts and will make a decision soon. I have some bday cash sitting upstairs on my dining room table that I may put toward a new workout system or something. Time will tell...

So I guess the moral of this discombobulated blog is this: I am approaching 40, but I cannot and will not accept the adage that turning 40 has to equal frumpy sweats, bon bons, bad hair, a piss poor self esteem, putting myself on hold for everyone else. No. I won't do it and can't do it. Instead, I want to be active, healthy, energetic. Not accepting the stereotypes. Won't do it!

If Tosca Reno can transform herself at 40, I can certainly do it at 37.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I thought you threw that scale away! What's up with that?
    2427 days ago
    I am so proud of you...you are doing great. I love the humor in your writing also. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
    2428 days ago
    emoticon I can relate to frustrations of doing things right and the scale not agreeing. Keep pushing along. Congrats on the inches lost!
    2428 days ago
    You can do it! Let me know if you decide to follow the Eason plan. I am looking at that one, too. We will both be finishing up ChaLEAN at the same time. I need a new plan, too. I want to keep lifting, though. For me, I think adding muscle is my best bet to drop the fat. It doesn't make for a very linear weight loss on the scale, but you do lose inches and that's what really counts. I have to believe the scale will eventually catch up. I am excited for you.
    2428 days ago
    You can do it!! You have a great deal of wisdom and good insight. You know how to achieve your goals. I'm working on giving up the emotion at weigh in. The scale is a tool. When I eat right and live right the scale will catch up. So I'm tracking food and exercise and I'm tracking the streak of days that I eat within my calorie range and the streak of days that I have very limited sweets. Maybe focusing on a few key streaks would help you, too!!
    2428 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    You'll get there. You'll gather all this information and you will take it and make something unique that works for you. Good for you passing on the spicy chicken - that's gotta be worth something, although their chili is pretty good too.
    2428 days ago
  • SINGER73
    You are so right. Why does it seem like we are both going through the same issue at the same time all the time. I know that my next step is to really step it up and clean up my diet and I'm in the process of doing that. You see this is my year to turn 40 in October and I want that birthday to be the day that I'm free to focus on other things and not on the scale. Actually what I said last year was that where every I am at 40 will be it. I'm only 5lbs away from my ultimate goal so I have plenty of time to get there but that's not going to happen if I keep up this mindless snacking and not staying away from my intolerant goods.

    Oh and I finally decided that I need to stop fighting and up the intensity of my workouts.

    So from sister to sister, we can do this. We know what it takes to get it done. So time to stop messing around and JUST DO IT

    2428 days ago
  • SOTM121097
    The only thing I can think of is maybe it can be too many grains? It's just a suggestion, I have no idea what you actually eat so only you would know if this is true.

    I also agree with the comment above, sodium can really make you bloated so it could have been the Wendy's too.

    Loosing inches is a good sign. i say weigh yourself in a few days to see if things change.
    2428 days ago
    What about working with a Spark coach for a week?
    A session with a nutritionist?
    A session with a personal trainer?
    I just feel that you need the direct support of someone that is a professional that could give you some meaningful suggestions and feedback.

    You did lose inches and that is great! If your weight has stayed essentially the same, then you are gaining muscle (and losing fat).

    2428 days ago
  • no profile photo FLGIRL_4EVER
    Those are great inches to lose! I'm so happy for you! You can do it at 37, I'm turning 40 in June, so your reminder of Tosca transforming herself at that age, lifted me up :)
    2428 days ago
    I did it (twice now) so I know you can!
    2428 days ago
  • no profile photo CINDYTW
    emoticon Maybe look at your nutrient ratios? Too many carbs, good or not can do this. Plus, 1.5# can be too much sodium in that chili baked potato and may not even be there now. I have my days I "count" my weight and track it, but sometimes I do it every day for a while when I am not sure what is going on. For example, I learned I can gain up to 5# from eating dairy, or sugary stuff. I hold water, in a day or 2 it goes back away. Don't beat yourself up, and YES you CAN do it!
    2428 days ago
  • LIBRA73
    I am turning 40 this year. I celebrate by dropping 40 pounds before I turn 40.

    I am tracking, working out and revamping my wardrobe! Lots going on! I am also in the middle of changing my skin care routine!

    I plan on looking and feeling fabby at forty! Stay tuned!

    You will be looking fabby before 40!
    2428 days ago
  • no profile photo LVELVETJ
    I have no advice, but I really enjoyed your blog and want to let you know that you're doing a lot of great stuff and that I'm rooting for you!
    2428 days ago
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