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Cant sleep so

Sunday, February 24, 2013

So I'm going to write. it relaxes me. if you get bored you can read it, otherwise i like talking to myself. I do it a lot actually. And I am from Kansas so I have a pretty accent. I dont mind hearing myself talk and i talk to myself a lot.
well i talk out-loud a lot, either to God when I pray or just to my mom cause I feel like she can hear me. I mean shes with God, so she must be able to hear me if he can.
But anyhow I cant sleep and normally my mind would be racing with a million dumb thoughts and keeping me worse but tonight my mind is just empty. but i still cant sleep.
Grr I cant wait until this snow has melted. I do not like being logged in. I want lettuce.
We used the last of our lettuce today so we cant have a salad again until the snow is clear enough to leave the house and go to the store. I have a salad every single day for lunch. i love salad. I do not like it when i cant have a salad. my body does not like it. my body craves regularity. i eat the same thing for breakfast almost every day also, but my dinner is always different depending on my mood.
since i lost the almost 40lbs in the last almost 2 years i dont really worry so much about my food because im ok with where i am weight wise. its the other things im working with the demons on. thats OK because its all about accepting who we are and loving ourselves. we all want the same things here. to be happy with who we are.
all of us here have something we do not like about our lives or we wouldnt of joined this site and i really love it that we can pull togethor and share slices of ourselves with each other and help one another because small things help people in great ways. they really do.
I truly hope i can relax for sleep soon it is 2am and im wide awake.
I'm feeling REALLY OLD right now. there was a time in my life where 2am was early for me...
man getting old sucks....
Im 32 but the cold days i feel like im 80 because my knee gets to acting up and ugh
i even sound like an old person on days that i wake up in the morning and get outta bed, i creek and pop every bone in my body. my goodness.
im not making fun of older people at all. i know im not old. 32 is an age. my heart still feels like its 18.
my health is great.
the worst health problem I have ever had in my life is heartburn and anxiety and well the anxiety was brought on by seeing my mom die. that i do not consider the same thing as a health problem.
Anyhow. I found a grey hair awhile back and i told my brother and he goes Lol chassi your old and im like hey shut up your only a year younger. I shouldn't be finding a grey hair at age 32. but then again its just a hair and when i do start going old and grey i wont be dying it.
im going to age naturally and gracefully just like God wanted.
Blah blah blah.
Im bored with writing. hopefully now i can be unwound enough to sleep.
if you read this whole thing, congrats for being a good sport. let me bake you a cookie. what flavor would you like? i will also give you a gold star.
who doesn't love a cookie and a gold star? it was the best thing about school. nap time and a gold star.
your never to old for stickers, right....right!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can do what I do with my gray and shave it all off lol. Just kidding of course there is nothing wrong with getting older it beats the alternative. Stay warm!
    1913 days ago
  • OTA_2012
    I'll take the star but can I have it in silver? I love silver! Lol ill save the chocolate chip cookie for my cheat day!
    1914 days ago
    I hope you slept well afterward!
    1914 days ago
  • ANYVAR54
    I enjoyed your 2 am musings. I too hope you were able to get some sleep after ward.
    I want a chocolate chip cookie. Hugs. 32 is young. I am 57. Ravyna
    1914 days ago
    Loved hearing your nighttime musings!

    I started turning gray at 30, so did my Mom, so . . .

    I still love stickers, and my favorite cookie is . . . hmmm. . . decisions . . . peanut butter, I do believe.
    1914 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/24/2013 12:09:33 PM
    It was fun reading your blog :) Hope you had some sleep! Or get a nap today!!! Hope you have a lovely Sunday:)
    1914 days ago
    You get a gold star! Leave the cookie. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1915 days ago
    Snow is falling here. I also miss salad on the days I can't have it. I love salad for lunch. I can't eat salad since I'm on soft food due to dental work. I'll be glad when it's done and I can eat salad again. I miss salad so much. I hope you can get out. Don't the snow get you down.
    1915 days ago
  • GINA180847
    I want a peanut butter oatmeal cookie and stickers. Thank you! I found my first grey hairs around 27, that is what having kids does to you or is it having a husband?
    1915 days ago
    Hope you get some sleep soon!!

    wendy emoticon mm emoticon
    1915 days ago
  • MAGGIE101857
    Restless nights seem to be going around emoticon .

    I'll take a gingersnap please! Less calories than a big emoticon !!!

    1915 days ago
    I would agree that we all have something in our lives that we are working on improving and it is great to have a community such as spark people. :D

    I am a teacher, so of course I LOVE stickers ;)

    Don't worry about the gray hair. I had a few in my late twenties (i'm 31 now- and have a lot more) but I generally have my hair highlighted heavily with blonde so they are pretty hard to see. I suppose if I go back to natural then I will see a ton of them. ia m not ready for that yet! ha ha
    1915 days ago
    Cinnamon please! And no, i will never ever be too old for stickers :D
    Don't stress about the grey hair, I've got 3 and I'm only 24. One of the downsides of having very dark hair is you can see every single grey one from miles off!
    I hope you managed to get some sleep eventually.
    1915 days ago
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