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Is Disappointment a Motivator

Saturday, February 23, 2013

How many times in your life have you been disappointed? Can you count those moments on one hand, or maybe two? I know for me, even if I used all my fingers, toes, and each extremity, I still wouldn't be able to keep track of the number of disappointments that I have faced in my life. It's amazing how each circumstance in our lives has the opportunity to mold and make us into who we are now...good, bad, or indifferent. We have the choice of whether our failures and less than opportunistic moments in our lives will drag us down or make us stronger, more confident people. So here in lies the question. Is disappointment a motivator? I know for me, in the past, disappointment has been something that brings me down and makes me want to throw in the towel. I have learned something through this distorted way of thinking. The only person that can change your view on disappointment is you. Only you can allow disappointment to be a motivator, not a deal-breaker. Make a choice today to be a more motivated, less disappointed you.
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    Feeling disappointment is a choice. Now - if I have something happen to me - right now - I might choose to disagree (because the pain is real). However, it is a choice. Each thing that happens to us has an equal chance to change us and help us strive. It is all in how we look at it.

    Sometimes we call it hindsight - "Oh, if I only knew then what I know now. . ." However, if we take the chance to look at what is happening right now - is it a sign that we are on the wrong track - do we need to approach it differently - what are we missing - what can we do different? It can be a motivation for change.

    Only looking at our faults - and judging ourselves by them - will keep us from being motivated to continue on. However, looking at our faults and realizing that they are just that - faults - and everyone has them in one form or another - allows us more power than we realize for positive change.

    1881 days ago
  • ASTRA58
    I am by my own definition, a recovering perfectionist. For me, disappointment is a spiral down into hopelessness. So, no, I don't find it a motivator. Let's face it, there are many, many things in our lives that we could choose to be disappointed about: our point spins on Spark People, our own behaviours, our results on the scale, the way we handle interactions with our friends or family... and the list could go on and on.

    I think when we are disappointed with ourselves that we are punishing ourselves and telling us that we just didn't measure up to our own standards. Instead of accepting what we've done and using it to fuel a different plan of attack, it smacks of judgement and negative self-talk. I think that can be destructive and counter-productive. Examining the causes and reasons why we didn't succeed as well as we could have, without blame, can be good to formulate new plans of handling the next similar situation. But telling ourselves we are disappointed in how we did? I don't think that's helpful, at all.

    When I find myself getting even a hint of disappointment, I try to turn it around and give myself some positive reinforcement. I try to find the positive things that I accomplished, even if it is something so tiny I can barely see it, rather than focus on what I didn't do. That way, I find, my motivation stays higher than if I'd berated myself on my disappointments or failures.

    Good luck in finding your positive motivators.
    1881 days ago
    Disappointment is really rough for me, with as much trouble as I've had with depression in my life and how low my self-esteem can be. I've had to accept that it doesn't do me any good. I have to not dwell on my own failures, on the past or on the future. All that matters is now.
    1882 days ago
    wow i never thot about it but i think disappointment may be a bit of a motivator for me but only a little bit
    1882 days ago
    Yes as I am a perfectionist by nature -- disappointment is a motivator for me! I can always do better !
    1882 days ago
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