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Walking away from the drama

Friday, February 22, 2013

The above picture was posted on a friend’s facebook wall this morning, and it helped me to realize that I do need to release myself from a relationship that was becoming too stressful and full of drama.

I fell hard and fast for man, who seemed like the closest I have ever come to a soul mate. We could talk for hours about anything and everything, and when we together there was electricity as well as a relaxing comfort. We discussed a future together and I was so happy. And then…..REALITY!!!

It soon became evident that his life is full of drama – from the ex-wife, family issues, job related re-location possibilities, post-traumatic stress disorder from time spent in a war, upcoming surgery…. Now I am not one to run from stress or pressure but when I was pushed aside, I was hurt. When I am in a relationship, I stand by partner and help him through the difficulties in life, and expect the same in return. I was told that I would know where our relationship was headed when he settled issues and made decisions, and that my opinions and wants pretty much were not a part of the equation at this time. I asked for the opportunity to sit down and discuss face-to-face everything that had transpired, and was told that I would have to wait until a time that he couldn’t determine yet. It was then that I knew I would always be pushed aside and would never be of the importance that any person deserves to be when in a relationship. The decision to walk away was difficult and painful, but it was something I had to do for myself. I deserve a partnership and not a dictatorship. As one friend put it, this man seems to thrive on drama while at the same time wants to be in control and make all the decisions. There are women who are capable of letting the man be in charge all the time. This girl is definitely not one of those women. I want to walk side-by-side with a man and take on the world together.

By the way, I am not giving up – I know love is out there for me.

I want to take this opportunity to thank my amazing Spark Friends for being here for me, encouraging me, giving me shoulders to cry on and accepting me for me. You are the best!
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Today Mother Nature gave me another reason to take the camera out of its bag. Below are a few shots!
Have a great weekend Sparklers!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1905 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/8/2013 11:43:10 AM
  • LEXIE63
    Sorry it didn't work out. It's his loss! he's an idiot!
    Lex xxx
    1905 days ago
    You so deserve better than that from a relationship. That special person will find you and surprise you - when you least expect it. I know that God's plan for you will become evident - as long as you keep yourself first and believe.

    The comments you made on my "novella" of a blog really made my day - I am glad that we can support and inspire each other while we're driving down that road to Heaven. Your appreciation of what I put into these blogs keeps me honest and motivated to share everything - honestly and unselfishly. And for that I thank you for being my life.

    Your friend - "Sprink"
    1908 days ago
    That is great, Leanne, that you are not settling for less than you deserve! you WILL find love out there.
    I love the pics of the snow! I was reading in the paper about how the midwest was getting hit with a major snowstorm. Stay safe!

    Big emoticon
    1914 days ago
    It has worked out for me. It took me awhile to get where you are. I forgot how awesome I was and how much I was really worth as a person. Once I saw how much I let aomeone else push me aside (and how much I was pushing myself aside) I looked around and realized I no longer had any good friends or hobbies or anything that I could even define myself by. I was completely wrapped up in what my role was to this other person. It took time but I found my way back and fell completely in love with myself again. I learned it was ok to be a little selfish. It was ok to put my needs before someone elses. It made me a lot happier. I now have goals and hobbies and a life. I exist. Can't really ask for more.
    1915 days ago
  • SUNNY332
    Storm Q left us with about the same. So far, Rocky has not been too bad. Weatherman says 70% chance of more snow tonight. I hope it does not interfere with going to St. Louis as Sis is so ready to come home. She cries every time I talk to her - knowing what a miracle she is and very aware of God Amazing Grace extended to her.

    Again, thanks for being so supportive. I so appreciate it.

    1915 days ago
    As women, we (for the most part) are raised to help and support no matter what.

    I agree with others that have said that you shouldn't be on the side lines. Had you stayed waiting until he made his decisions, then he would know he could push you any time he wanted.

    Good for you!
    1916 days ago
    Good for you! I was in that same situation a few years back but unlike you I wasn't strong enough to walk away although I knew I needed to. I ended up being pushed aside over and over and in more ways than one. By staying in that type of relationship I did more damage to my self esteem than being alone would have ever done. I am proud of you for choosing to do what is best for yourself and not putting him or the relationship before your own needs. You will look back on your decision and be gald you took the path you did. Life is too precious to spend it in the background of someone elses life!
    1917 days ago
    I understand this all too well. It's hard, especially for women, to say no to something. But when you find yourself in a relationship, be it friend or family, sometimes you need to draw that line in the sand. It took me a long time to get to that point where I could finally say it was ok to let go of the relationship I had with someone close to me, because it was toxic. Life isn't always easy, but you have to do what's best for YOU sometimes too!
    1918 days ago
  • TERRY631
    Echoing the sentiments that have been already expressed. Big hugs to you for making a difficult decision to put yourself and your ultimate happiness first!

    1918 days ago
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    1918 days ago
  • OTEN36
    I was thinking about your situation last night. I can't begin to express how happy I am you came to that decision. Painful as it may have been. It's the right one. Anyone who has ever been in "that" type of relationship will agree......don't do it. Protect yourself now and save all that pain that would have come later.
    I am really proud of you.
    1918 days ago
    emoticon Job fellow Spark member. I admire you for many reasons, you are such an inspiration and I thank you for sharing this amazing, but personal account of relizing this and being able to make such a difficult decision to make YOUrself Priority and you will always have the most imprtant person in your life and that is you! Shine On and Love will again find you and it will be the right one. I feel this for you in my heart. You GO Girl Go emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Diana
    P.S. Your snow pictures are so beautiful!
    1919 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/22/2013 10:47:10 PM
    You have an awesome relationship with yourself... now it's a matter of finding someone that is worthy of being a partner in that successful venture!

    I think that this is awesome news and a huge WIN for you!!

    "No partner in a love relationship... should feel that (s)he has to give up an essential part of (her)self to make it viable." - May Sarton
    1919 days ago
    Nice pictures. Good for not giving up on companionship. -- Lou
    1919 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    Love the pictures, we have more snow overnight and this morning, now light snow showers.
    Sounds like you were placed in a situation to make a choice and as diffucult as that is you deserve to have someone that respects you and your opinions. Sounds like the guy had a lot of things going on. Good for you to stay positive, the right guy will be in your future.
    1919 days ago
  • PCOH051610
    I'm proud of you for knowing what's best for you and for realizing that you don't have to be anybody's second choice!

    Oh,,and the pictures are just beautiful


    xo Susan
    1919 days ago
  • DEE107
    Love your pictures and I know love is out there I remember just what you are going thru so much of my life and then when I wasnt looking and swore off men and relationship I meet him and he stuck by the thick and thin and everything else inbetween tooo hang in and will pray for you my friend
    1919 days ago
  • DEE107
    dont know what happen it posted twice
    1919 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/22/2013 7:58:54 PM
  • OTEN36
    Wonderful pictures and wonderful news.
    If you settle for that treatment in the beginning...can you imagine where you would be in 5-10 years....None of us should ever make that mistake...
    Good Job
    1919 days ago
    It's so true. You deserve happiness and companionship that doesn't exist on drama and negativity! Way to take steps to make your life more positive and full!
    1919 days ago
  • MJ7DM33
    WTG! Great pics!
    1919 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/22/2013 6:35:51 PM
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    1919 days ago
    Hugs and love,

    1919 days ago
    As much as it hurts, it sounds like you have made the absolute best decision. How can you live a life waiting on the sidelines? I am so happy that you have not lost faith in love! You deserve it and you will find it!
    1919 days ago
  • JO88BAKO
    Good for you! That is awesome!!
    1919 days ago
  • MARTY728
    You never know what is around life's corner! Be strong and emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1919 days ago
    Good for you for taking charge of your own emotional health! I think you saw this relationship with open eyes and made the right decision. I'm sure it was hard, and I'm sorry you had to go through it, but I'm also proud of you. Way to stand up for yourself!
    1919 days ago
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