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Star-Studded Birthday Gala at Chestnut Avenue

Friday, February 22, 2013

PORT CHARLOTTE--Ms. Rosie Rose celebrated her birthday Thursday with friends and family from Michigan to Venice, Florida.

Ms. Rose wore a white ruffled pinafore adorned with skull and crossbones and, of course, roses. Her friends went au naturel so that Ms. Rose would look all the better on her special day.

Ms. Rose's mother, Gilda, served cake containing carrots, honey, peanut butter, and flour.

Also attending the festivities were Masters Squirrelly and Chewbacca Rose of Venice, Ms. Harriet Smith of Port Charlotte, and Misses Doxen and Rolly Smokes Wade of Port Charlotte.

Doxie caused quite a stir by loudly insulting Squirrelly and Chewie upon their arrival. Ever the gentleman, Squirrelly ignored her assaults with aplomb. Despite his larger size, Chewie only cowered in response.

Rosie felt obliged to defend her dress by cheerfully and repeatedly humping guests Doxie and Rolly. By the end of the gala, after a full day of excessive eating and humping, followed by cake and presents, she became tired, cranky, and snappish, and her dress hung askew.

On their way home, Doxie and Rolly relieved themselves of all their birthday cake by the side of the road.

Doxie and Rolly will celebrate their joint first birthday six months hence at the Wade residence in Port Charlotte. The Wades plan pony rides, a clown, snout painting, and a small bouncy house.

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