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Thursday, February 21, 2013

i feel so helpless and overwhelmed. i feel like i can't suceed, i have no motivation and i'm never going to lose weight. i feel as though i have no self-control. i want to eat and eat and eat. when i did i lose self-control? i used to have great self-control. i went a year without soda, a year without fast food. i've given up various things for months, weeks, etc. my big issue right now is sugar. i am way too addicted to sugar in all its forms and can't seem to control myself. so i gave up sugar for lent. i made it one day. granted, day two was valentines day. but i couldn't stop eating those dang candy hearts. i am pretty sure i said something to myself like, you can have 2. i had more like 22. or more. *sigh*.

i don't know where this loss of control is coming from. but i need to get past it. i know coming here will help and it's been far too long. i know i need to spend more time here and i know i can find the motivation and support i need here. i just need to come up with a plan and stick to it. first, i'll make a list of goals to work on.

1. cut out sugar
2. stop drinking soda
3. stop drinking alcohol
4. tell dh about goals and concerns
5. plan meals and snacks better
6. figure out a plan to workout
7. spark daily
8. declutter house
9. get out of debt
10. eat whole foods

i thought a list of 10 would be a good place to start. some are pretty easy and straightforward, others will take a lot of work. like #6. that's gonna be a 4am goal, 4:30 is unbearable some days. others are linked together, like 1-3 that's all sugar in one form or another. one is just easier to conquer than another.

i know talking to dh will help. i'll be accountable, but he may not be as willing to help as i'd like. i know he'll be supportive, but when it comes to him having to say, no, don't eat/buy/drink that candy bar, etc. it'll be tough for him. and i certainly don't want to blame him for my lack of willpower if he doesn't say no and i end up eating something.

just writing this has made me feel better. i love this place and have missed you all the last few months. i hope i'm able to commit and get things rolling forward.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i have been drinking to much soda but i am starting with saying no soda at work. if i can make in 40 days then i can make it a new habit.
    1949 days ago
    First of all, let me say this: you CAN do this, you CAN find the inner strength & motivation (plus, we are here for you!).
    Secondly, I also think you do need to cut down on the amount of goals you are working on at one time. You definitely don't want to get so frustrated that you give up.
    1949 days ago
    I also think you have given yourself too much to chomp off at one time.
    I suggest the book, This Year I Will..., by MJ (i think) Ryan. You should be able to find it at the library. It helped me sooooooo much and helped me get my head on straight to be able to accomplish my goal. If you read the book (or you could listen, that is what I did, on cd, let me know what you think. It was a Godsend for me.
    1949 days ago
    I started out where you are now. I couldn't understand how I could ever lose weight. I just knew it was impossible. Then I became determined. I started listening to my body. Eat when I am hungry, stop when I am full. I started losing weight.
    The sugar addiction thing is hard to over come, but you can do it. Eat fruits that are sweet like and orange when you want the sweet taste.
    How do we lose contro? When did it happen? ????? How did it happen?
    Slowly but surely. The same way weight is lost. Slow and sure.
    Don't over expect yourself or place impossible demands on yourself that will set you up to feel like you failed at losing weight.
    Rome wasn't built in a day. It will not be torn down in a day.
    If you do things one at a time, one day at a time you will not feel so overwhelmed.
    Hope this helps. Keep sparking!!!
    1949 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/21/2013 6:59:30 PM
  • MYRTLE811
    wow, you've got a lot of big big goals there. Maybe you should pare down your list and just put a few on for a week and then see if you can do this; then add another goal. The debt is a big, big goal and you need to work on that together. I don't think I'd put that in your weight loss goals right now. It's hard to get started; I know I can't stop at two of any candy; I'll eat the whole bag that's for sure. Better to have none than any is my motto. I just can't stop. Maybe just declutter one room; that's a goal I have right now, only one room at a time so I don't get defeated before I begin. Don't try to swallow the whole thing right away.
    Take your time, take a breath and go slow.
    I know you will do this.
    1949 days ago
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