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Feeling lost.......

Thursday, February 21, 2013

the sun is shining. School is back, snow days are done for this week.

Routine is a great thing......keeps us all sane. I am a big routine person. I like my schedule, and when things knock it out of line i get a little out of sorts for a bit. I need to get certain things done in the day , or else i feel as if i have wasted my time and i hate feeling as though i dont do anything. I like to run my day as if being home and cleaning/errands etc are my job. I work from 9-3 doing all that and then the girls are soon home and time to start with "family" things again...supper, hockey etc

I didnt get a workout the last two days. The girls were home and hubster was home yesterday and that meant the tvs were occupied, and then it was family time to make the day pass faster and with a little fun.
so that meant mommy put her routine on hold. Again.

So today, the house is mine and that means i can get a great workout in. Perhaps a double workout to make up for lost time this week. I just need to find the energy and motivation again.

I am getting very close to the edge of that wagon after a week of not working out and i need take a few steps back to the middle where its safe. I find myself getting lazy and bored after a week and wanting to slip into old snacking habits. Its amazing how much i notice when i dont workout. I notice how i crave those foods that got me into trouble. Why is that??? is it a comfort thing? Or just old habits?

Either way i am glad i can reconize when those habits start to surface and i am able to step back from the fridge and leave the cheese in there.......

I am feeling a little off today. Not sick. But mentally off. Emotionally off. I dont think my depression is coming back, i think that i am tired. And well i am out of routine i think that is it. My daughter ditched her car last night, drove into zero visiblity snow squall and found the ditch. She is alright, not sure if the car got banged up at all yet. It got towed and we will pick it up tomorrow. So she took my truck to school, as she had a dr appt today and it seemed easiest. So now i am home with no vehicle, so the errands i had on my list today wont get done. So i think i am just feeling a little lost . I always seem to be at the bottom of the list. My things never seem to get done as everyone else needs something first. I suppose that is part of being a mother.....and i dont really mind most the time. Just the odd time i wish that i could be the one to say NO wait, its my turn. I suppose its my own fault for always saying its ok.....

I have some tidying and cleaning to do. And then my workout......shower and perhaps i will take some time to enjoy the sunshine coming in my windows and just read for an hour. Then early dinner so we can head out to hockey. Tomorrow is a new day.......
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