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Hard to imagine.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I just had to get this off my chest. Please bear with me.

My daughter brought home a friend today, to work on a school project. On the way home we all talked and the topic became vegetarianism. The young lady stated she doesn't eat much meat, even though she and her family are not vegetarians, they just don't have it in the house. I kidded her and asked, "Food allergies, mom hate shopping, or just poor?" (those who know me, understand I mean no harm, having been poor myself.) She said her mom hates cooking and shopping and will only purchase fast food for herself and leave the rest of them to fend. I asked what her dad does and does he say, "Feed the children, woman!" She said he buys the basics, like eggs, bread and milk and occasionally ground beef. Then they make do with no cooking skills or other ingredients. How can this be?

You know, sometimes you have a person in your life, that you know. A person who is a friend of your daughter...and you just DON'T know. My girls have mentioned that the young persons family is weird, but, oh hell, we're weird too! But, I feel guilty if I order pizza or make frozen dinners! I grew up without a mom. My dad worked until 7 and we fended most days, unless he took us out for dinner. I swore I'd feed my kids as healthy as I could afford. I just....I feel kind of sad.

SO...the project will probably take the girls way, way over dinnertime, I'm thinking. Maybe they will have to work on projects here much more frequently, don't you think? emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I grew up in a home where Mom did not like to cook - was not good at it - and we often ate already prepared foods - tv dinners - frozen pizzas - schwanns foods - hot dogs, etc. Every week we would eat out once at a diner and often found ourselves at Mc Donalds. When I got married (I tell my girls all the time) I only knew how to make spaghetti and hot dogs - no kidding. Now, I may not be able to open a restaurant - but I could probably do some serious battling on Food Network's Chopped (at least against other home cooks). I feel guilty when we eat anything already prepared and I even hate eating out - except that it sometimes provides me a much needed break from all the work I do at home.

    Eating out does do one thing though - I try my best to see what my husband likes - we eat a lot of ethnic foods - and then I go home and try to find ways to make it better than the restaurant - and healthier. I'm usually able to - over time - but I have also had flops. Just part of life.

    Since you are the same way - and realize how important it is to cook healthy for your family - and because you know how this young girl is struggling as well - perhaps you could be a mentor, of sorts? When they do come over - perhaps involve them in the cooking (if time allows) so that she can learn how to make some things on her own. I cannot tell you how important this can be for her. Growing up, I was fortunate to be adopted by most of my friends' families. I spent most weekends with one family or another to try to avoid my own family (long story). If it weren't for their advice - love - support - and good example - things could have turned out differently for me. I am so grateful that they chose to make me a part of their own family in that way.

    I am sure she would be extremely grateful. Just see if there is any interest there - you might be surprised.

    Thanks, Sumay
    1910 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/25/2013 3:56:17 PM
    Wow! That really is very sad, especially for the kids. I just can't understand how a mother could do that to her kids...mind you, I do sometimes tell my older kids (22 and 19) to fend for themselves, but they are not only capable of fending just fine, they are also both so picky they drive me crazy. I am not a short-order cook. I make sure my youngest has something nutritious. Fast food does not qualify!
    1913 days ago
    People just don't care anymore about how bad most of that fast food.(even with all the knowledge Everyone is trying to pass on).
    That's good that you will try and help her a bit.A little guidence goes a long way. emoticon
    1914 days ago
    Val, your friend is doing the best she can. I can totally understand that, having been there.
    This seems to be clear neglect. The young lady mentioned as we sat down, that she hadn't had a meal with her family outside of holidays at her Grandparents. Nice, smart girl, nice middle class neighborhood, parents both work....I don't get it.
    1915 days ago
  • SOFT_VAL67
    i thought it was gonna be more about the poor issue, that seems to be affecting alot of people now.
    i know a friend who is recently divorced and is determined to make ends meet without help from her ex, having no kids together he isnt obligated, but offers.
    she told me that she eats a boiled egg and a bowl of cooked oatmeal daily for breakfast....two slices of baloney and another boiled egg daily for lunch, along with an apple, some carrots, whatever veggies she has that needs to be cooked and every week she makes a huge crock pot full of a kind of goolash soup
    using canned veggies and one week, chicken and one week a small beef roast, she mixes in tomatoes and pinto beans, macaroni at about 50 cents a box and this she eats for dinner nightly for 3 or 4 or even 5 nights, if it lasts.....she is trying to spend as little on groceries as possible and told me she allows herself one indulgence a week, either a small sub from subway or a small frosty from wendys.
    she told me if shes really careful with her budget she can make it on less than 30 dollars a week for groceries.....hard to imagine. but i guess doable.
    1915 days ago
    seems like an opportunity has been put in your path
    1915 days ago
    I think you have a very kind heart. Some people just don't deserve to have kids.
    Your child and her friends are very lucky to have you watching out for them. emoticon
    1915 days ago
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