200,000-249,999 SparkPoints 246,288

been thinking big time .

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I am a new great grandmother . again . they had their first child . they are flying above the clouds . On the other hand my daughter is not . she is feeling very badly . Her daughter was arrested for drugs . picked up and jailed for a short time . now she has a fine to pay . they did not offer help . this was her first arrest . the fine is $700. she is not working . I think she is going to have trouble getting this amount together . her car broke down . it sits broken . Her boyfriend drove the wheels off it and when it broke they expected it be repaired .the cost would exceed the worth of the car . needs much repair . shocks and transmission much more . we are not doing the repairs . I would love to see her drug free but do not know how to cope with this anymore . I know she feels grandpa and i have abounded her . she moved out of her moms home . do not talk to her and when she calls she doesnt speak to me she asks to speak to grandpa . I put him on phone and he in turn talks and says sorry i can not help you or answers the question she asks . I have reached the end of my rope at to what to do but i know she has to do this her self . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Tough love is tough ... but it does seem to work .... or, at the very least, it works a heck of a lot better than giving-in and becoming an enabler of bad behavior.
    I feel for what you are going through, but hope that you can try to stay focused on those in your family who are choosing to do the right things in life. Sometimes that, more than anything else, can be a wake-up call to those who aren't choosing a better path.

    Stay strong ... and find happiness in your spouse and that new grandchild. Your energy is needed, perhaps, where it will be most appreciated.
    Take care of yourself!
    1867 days ago
  • JACK714
    She needs to understand the consequences for wrong actions. It's hard though to watch them suffer. All you can do is love he and pray for her.
    1883 days ago
    I think you are doing the very best thing you could do. I did not say no to my son until he was about 45 years old. Finally at my wit's end -- I had to turn my back on him. So I think for you to turn a deaf ear to your granddaughter at such an early age is a good thing. It's hard but it has to be that way. Our young children have to learn.
    1883 days ago
    Sorry that all of this is happening. It is always hard when a drug or alcohol addiction is involved. We all want to help but sometimes we just can't. I am not sure what type of support groups are in your area but sometimes AA or Alanon can help. These groups are not necessarily just for the addict themselves they can also help family members who are dealing with this type of situation. You can also check with your local hospital for this info.
    1883 days ago
    I am sorry your family has to deal with this. But the more she is given the more she is enabled. I wish you well for healing and the energy to stick to your guns.
    1883 days ago
    Tough love is appropriate. Glad you're sticking to your guns. Will pray.
    1883 days ago
  • SPEEDY143
    emoticon you are struggling with your feelings about bailing your granddaughter out of trouble... I know you want to make everything OK for her but you and your DH do have her best interest at heart by letting her and her boyfriend make things right. Stay strong, I'm praying for all of you and congratulations "again" Great-grandma emoticon
    1883 days ago
    It is hard to sit back and not do anything, but she will not learn until she has to do it herself. emoticon
    1883 days ago
    You are in my prayers.
    1883 days ago
    I am sorry for your family troubles. I have an uncle with substance abuse problems and nothing my mother has done for him has ever helped him get better. Until your granddaughter decides to quit drugs there really is not much you can do to help. And it stinks to feel so helpless about someone you love. You are doing the right thing by not enabling her addiction. emoticon
    1883 days ago
    I am so sorry this is happening to you...but you are doing the right thing. She needs healthy boundaries and you cannot make her want to get better. emoticon
    1883 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.