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Today is the day...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

... I can and will get this done-
not sure why I have procrastinated-
so not like me-
maybe because I knew it would make me cry-
writing about the death of the professor-
so I needed a bit of time to process it. emoticon

Also, we have had a very hectic week since the good doctor died last Monday
(is it only one week, really?)'
with two snowstorms,
hubby sick again,
DD broken up with her 4 yr BF (yay! She's doing great- already met someone else),
lots of extra grand-baby time,
me hitting the gym every single day whilst I can,
(trying to finish my book-group book on the treadmill, something I never do, either-
btw- my negative calorie differential for the week is over 11,000 but my wt hasn't changed- what is up with that, SP?). emoticon

So, for my new friends, I have been doing elder care as a retirement job for 5-6 years (to pay for my outrageously expensive effin crappy health insurance).
For a bit over 3 years, I have cared for two very elderly wonderful gentlemen in their homes- one died at 99 in May of 2011, the other, the professor, would have been 99 in June.
I was able to write (simply) his life stories when I first started working with him in 2009 and got to know him and his family (and family secrets!) pretty well doing that- before he slowly drifted off mentally, and then physically.
He was an amazing man-
brilliant (I used to say my IQ went up just from hanging around with him),
gentle and loving,
tireless (his life achievements were stunning)
and always so grateful for the life his God had given him and so appreciative for anything anyone would do for him.
He died in his own home that he and his beloved late wife of 60 years had built together in 1950 and raised their three children in and cared for many grandkids and great-grandkids in.
He was sitting in a recliner chair with his feet up by a crackling fire with his daughter and son-in-law (primary caretakers) with him when he very peacefully passed away.
Here is the link to his obituary- I could not begin to tell you all of his accomplishments, but he certainly put me to shame, living the small self-absorbed life I have led.
(Made me wonder what would be in my obituary! hmmm....might be a good writing exercise)
His memorial service is March 2nd.
I will look for more work after that.
Unemployment is high in RI now but, though I've been out of the loop a while, I'm confident I'll be able to find this sort of work- there is such a need and the professor's daughter is, like her dad was, very involved in the community and will recommend me highly.
Let me know if this link doesn't work:

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Liz, I am so sorry in your loss. I hope you will allow yourself the freedom to grieve as if you'd lost a family member because you have. And it will be painful for a long time.

    I also believe YOUR care of him probably extended and definitely enriched his final years. You were a gift to him as well as he to you. What a dedicated individual he was and generous with his expertise and willingness to share his knowledge.

    I can only imagine how much you miss him now. And how wonderful that he could be at home and not at the hospital. I'm sure your care made that possible for him & his family.

    You will indeed find another position. Caretakers like you are a treasure. My mom was at home with 24 hr caretakers for the last few months. I was the caretaker every other week. It mean the world to her and to me that she could be at home.

    The Professor was lucky to have you in his life! Thanks for letting us read the obituary. emoticon
    1917 days ago
    I am sorry for your loss Liz. You spent a lot of time with the Professor and I am sure that he and you were blessed by each other's presence. Thanks for sharing his obit. I knew from your posts that he was quite an amazing person. He was a lucky man to have you in his life.

    emoticon emoticon
    1919 days ago
    There's been a lot going on with you!

    Thank you for sharing the Professor's obituary.

    1919 days ago
    So wonderful. emoticon
    1920 days ago
    What a distinguished man he was! He led a rich & wondrous life! And honey, don't discount your influence & impressions in this lifetime. My thoughts are that we imprint everyone we meet...& ya just never know who's heart you'll touch! You make a difference!

    And...your journey continues! emoticon
    1920 days ago
    When you've mentioned him previously I could tell he had led an interesting and giving life; thank you, Liz, for sharing the obituary. Losing the life of someone such as that is so sad, yet having known him an enrichment to your own life. What an incredible man he was! I'm glad that he was able to return home after his last hospitalization, to pass there peacefully instead of lingering in the hospital... if indeed there can be reason for a positive view to be sought in a passing.

    Glad you are taking your time to seek another position. Hope hubby feels better soon and some calm is restored to you and yours. Spring is around the corner.
    (The weight and calorie deficit? Um, don't we both experience starvation mode as part of the lifestyle challenge?!?)
    1921 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/20/2013 12:24:09 PM
    emoticon emoticon
    1921 days ago
    1921 days ago
    Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry for your lose. Hang in there! emoticon
    1921 days ago
  • _UMAMI_
    Thanks for posting the obit link*.
    He led a full life, and, I know it was a job for you, but it was so much more, and you helped transition him for his next journey. It's not easy to care for the elderly and dying!!

    On a separate note, not wanting to give @Ssvice, but perhaps you have too great a calorie-deficit, and your body won't yield?
    Maybe time, in the words of Monty Python, for something Completely Different.

    Then again, I know you've tried that, too! Best of luck.
    RIP, dear Professor.

    *my parents have dear friends of the same name....wonder if there is a connection. Oh, and you mentioned friends of yours vacationing, and I wonder if I read her blog?! (B-bird?)

    1922 days ago
  • CARE4ME2
    Thank you so much for sharing. emoticon
    1922 days ago
    He lived a full and meaningful life. I wish you the best finding employment. I'm sure with your skills you will have no problem. Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my Half Marathon blog. With the amount of time you spend working out I'm sure you would have no problem with a HM if you ever decided to do it.

    1922 days ago
    Sorry for your loss. Best of fortune to you in your search for work.
    1922 days ago
    The professor sounds like a terrific man. I'm sure youa re proud to ahve spent that time with him.
    1922 days ago
    ((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))

    Wow what a lucky lady to have known such an interesting man
    1922 days ago
    What a wonderful man! Obviously he loved what he did and had a passion for life -- and history!!

    Thank you for sharing. My own father, in the last phase of his life, is also having no visitation and a private burial. As we are Catholic there will just be a Mass. I think it's an interesting choice.

    I have NO DOUBT that you will find another position without too much of a delay!

    I'm sorry for your loss. emoticon
    1922 days ago
    what an amazing gentleman Liz, no wonder you and he bonded so well and no wonder you miss him.

    Take time to grieve hun, you made the last months of his life that much more
    enjoyable and I'm sure he would want you to be happy emoticon
    1922 days ago
    Elizabeth--Please don't take offense but, as I continued to scroll down dear professor's obit, I had to chuckle. It was endless--almost like an SNL skit!! Amazing man!! But, with all of those accomplishments---I like his face. He looks kind and caring. You were lucky to have each other!
    1922 days ago
    So sorry to hear about your loss. I know he was more than a client, he was a friend.
    1922 days ago
    wow, what an accomplished man! You were lucky to know him.

    By the way Elizabeth, have you considered doing The Plan diet? I have been reading about many sparkers that are having success and thought of you. It's all about foods that your body might react to. Here is the web site you can copy and past in your browser.

    I can't find all the ingredients here in Mexico to follow the program to a "t" but for the last two days have been eating foods that have the least % of reaction to one's body. I have lost 2 pounds in two days doing this. Anyway, you might look into it.
    Have a terrific day.
    1922 days ago
    just thought of something else... you mentioned wondering what would be in your own obituary... I love going through old cemeteries when I travel, and many years ago, travelling in England with my middle daughter, found a wonderful old stone, saying, "worth remembering". Ever since, I've wanted that on my stone.
    1922 days ago
  • EDWARDS1411
    What a full life the dear man had!!!
    1922 days ago
    Sounds like he had a wonderful life.

    You need to grieve in your own way in your own time.

    1922 days ago
    He was truly a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing his obituary and your thoughts about being his friend.
    1922 days ago
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