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why, why, why?????

Monday, February 18, 2013

geesh, i am SO upset with myself! i have been having a great week, of eating right (within my ranges) and i have been working out really well. what did i do today??? within 30 minutes i totally screwed up my calorie intake and the other ranges! and what is even more puzzling, is that i have been freaking out about only weighing myself once a week, and that weigh in, is gonna be on Wednesday! what was i thinkin'???? emoticon

why would i do that to myself? i worked really hard today (biggest loser cardio, and denise austin's yoga burn). i had made good food choices all day, but dog gone it, i totally went to the extreme and ate a whole box of milk duds! they are my downfall, my vice, my nemesis emoticon .

no, one "slip up" does not make me gain weight, but i was doing SO well, i was on a streak, i was havin' positive thoughts, positive visualization, i just bought a few more yoga videos, and i was coming along so well with exercising. emoticon

then i do this? i know, i know, i shouldn't focus one one thing, but gosh darn, it makes me just so frustrated with myself. "i" make the choices, nobody else. i was only gonna eat half a box (which would have kept me in my range), but i didn't separate it out, and well, there you go. emoticon

and now thinking about the choice i made is FAR worse than how good it tasted (for literally only minutes) what is that saying? "fit feels so much better than ANY food tastes" well, duh, now i sit here obsessing about it, wondering how much i should work out tomorrow to help. did i mention that i am a recovering bulimic? i say recovering, because it is like any other addictive behavior, you think about it, even if you aren't doing it. fortunately, i don't want to throw up, but i am sitting here thinking maybe i should do another workout yet tonight (at almost 10pm). or how i need to go nuts and workout like crazy tomorrow.

a friend just posted a quote, "you need to remind yourself that you don't need to be perfect." goodness! that is so hard! i don't hold others up to perfection, but heck yeah, i expect it of me. and having such an attitude, is gonna give me the same outcome i have had every time i have tried to lose weight... FAILURE. emoticon

goodness, i have to get my thinkin' back to, one step at a time.

another quote a friend posted was, "entire water of the sea can not sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. similarly, negativity of the world can not put you down unless you allow it to get inside you."

i need to remember this... take responsibility for the choice i made, then move on. am i gonna make one slip up make me quit? that would be stupid. there will be days i will eat over my ranges, this won't be the last. and there are gonna be days that i won't work out, when i know i should, it is called being HUMAN. last time i checked, i didn't have any superpowers, although, that would be cool... emoticon

movin' on, to bed, i guess, listening to my relaxation music, visualizing what i am gonna look like in just about 8 months, i can't let this stop me, i will be more disgusted with myself if i quit... i am gonna stick with it... emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Tomorrow will be a better day. emoticon
    1918 days ago
  • TERRY0217
    Please...stop beating yourself up!! we are all on a journey and sometimes we take a wrong turn...so...if milk duds are your weakness..see if they come in fun size or a small box...or...just avoid them when you go to the store.....today is a new day...go for it....you can do it!

    1919 days ago
    One day at a time... One bad day will not sink you unless you let it..Refocus and Keep pushing. One slip will not send you down the Mountain. You can do this...You are stronger than that one day... My fav quote...Every Damn Day JUST DO IT!
    1920 days ago
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