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OMG she is SO beautiful! with PICS!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Hey guys,

What an interesting day so far... I figured I would share.

So I'm going along, minding my own business. Then I see this girl. She was wearing my Favorite color (red if you can't tell), her hair looked nice, she appeared to be in great shape. I wondered what it must feel like to be her? To be at your TIP TOP shape... to wake up and KNOW you look amazing. To be at your dream weight... All I could do was smile. Clearly this was a prom picture but she looked awesome... and it turns out (surprise surprise) that SHE was ME! **You guessed it huh?**

[me: 17 years old]

Well here's the thing! I remember that day. I remember being SO self conscious. I remember sucking my stomach in as far as I could and praying no one would call me fat... as the had so many times before. I remember having fun at Prom but also being so worried that people were secretly laughing or going to tease me. I remember ALWAYS wishing I weighed 120lbs... and I never could get there. I weighed 132 lb... and therefore I was no enough. I was a cheerleader and while I had a cute shape, Thin waist big hips, I still was the "big" one... I wasn't satisfied with where I was. If it wasn't perfect... it wasn't good enough.

I look at that picture now and think "OH MY GOD. Lord, Why couldn't I see the beauty that I had at that time? Why did I care what they thought? I should have held my head high and pranced around the dance floor like I owned it. I should have said WHO CARES if I never make it to 120 lbs... who cares if I stay at 132lbs for the rest of my life... I look great! Who cares that I have curves (and am healthy) and everyone else is less shapely... this is who I am! Instead, I guess secretly I decided it was better not to get too much attention that way people wouldn't tease me as much.

Let's fast forward to now...

[Me now... 27 :) ]

I do not want to make the same mistake. I don't want to look back 10 years from now and wonder why I hated myself (or my weight) so much when I looked amazing. [ Sidenote: I think it's important that you can tell yourself you look amazing. I fight this all the time because I don't want to be conceited but... shoot, if YOU won't say you're amazing... WHO WILL!?!?!? Or, even if they do... you won't believe them]

I don't want to say "GOSH I was soooo beautiful, why couldn't I see it? Why was I so focused on the scale and refused to see beauty in myself until I reached my goal... " And therefore, I'm going to hold my head high and prance around every dance floor I can find between my current weight and my GOAL weight and if I never get there I will enjoy the journey and realize I am made exactly how I was intended to be, Sure... I can improve. SURE, I'd look even better at 132 again... but in the meanwhile... emoticon I actually do believe I'll get back to the first size... it's only a 30 lb difference in 10 years. I can do it! I just wanted to remind us all that the lesson of SELF-LOVE is all around us.

You've got to love yourself where you are... as you are, or one day you will look back and realize these WERE the good 'ole days.

I may or may not be what other people want... but I WILL be someone worthy of love... MY OWN! :)

If nothing else, 2013 will be the year I TRULY heal my relationship with myself and become my
own best friend. I hope you find the same peace... if you haven't already!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is a fantastic blog! I have the same thoughts when I look at pictures of myself from college when I thought I was "sooo fat."

    You are right- You look beautiful just the way you are now. The first thing I thought when I looked at the one of you in the gold tank top was, "Wow! I want my arms and chest to look that good in a top like that!" Keep up the good work. There's nothing wrong with always reaching to be healthier, but enjoy and appreciate your body the way it is now.

    1913 days ago
    Great thoughts here! I love that you see what you did to yourself (like what so many of us do to ourselves), and that you're stopping the cycle NOW! You ARE beautiful where you are--believe it! Just think of how far you've come, and give yourself credit where it's due. I believe you are the confident, self-loving wonder woman you aim to be; I believe we all are--we just have to let that GODDESS out!!!
    emoticon emoticon
    1913 days ago
  • RODRIGUEZ41508
    LOVE IT !!!!!!
    It's ALL about LOVING YOURSELF no matter what and being Confident in your own body.
    Work it girl ! emoticon
    Thank you for sharing this Motivational Blog and your pic's.
    You where Beautiful then and you Are still Beautiful Now ......
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1916 days ago
  • LYNSEY723
    I too, can relate to this! But let me tell you - you are STUNNING!!! I think you are just as beautiful, if not more so, than you were at 17!!! You look so great. I LOVE your curves. You have a sexy, feminine body. LOVE what you've got!!!
    1916 days ago
    I LOVED THIS! :) I can totally relate. I used to feel so fat and self-conscious back when I weighed 120 lbs and now I'm like what was I thinking?? But I've gotten to a point in my life where I feel beautiful now, at my current weight, even if it's not my goal weight. I love your confidence and your attitude! You're an inspiration :)
    1916 days ago
    I relate so well. I can't tell you the countless times I've looked at old pics, and thought -- "who is that gorgeous chic?" It was ME!! Self love is so important. Not only in loving where you are right now, but loving yourself enough to do what's good for you. For me, this includes giving myself permission to have some time away from my kids, and eating well. This year, I'm going to take a vacation even if it's just ME.

    Thank you so much for reminding us all to be mindful of the present.
    1917 days ago
    This blog is so helpful for me...thank you so my for putting things in perspective for me. The big picture is what counts - thanks!!!
    1917 days ago
    Wow! You looked outstanding then and outstanding now. Sometimes I think those of us who are curvier (I mean real curves, not just size), feel the need to trim down to draw less attention to our shapes. We can't help the way we're built (though we can change size and to a lesser extent mold our shapes). Besides, why would we want to?? The attention comes because it looks damn good!
    1917 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I must say that you were beautiful in the photo at age 17. But you may not realize it but you are STILL very beautiful. Keep that smile and feel proud.
    1917 days ago
    You were beautiful at 17 AND you are stunning NOW!!!

    I don't know where self love is created... but I have had it my whole life! Not sure if it's something your parents teach you, or if you are just born with, or you grow into loving yourself... either way, it's worth investing time into YOURSELF, because at the end of the day, YOU are all you've GOT!!!

    emoticon And you are worth the investment!!! We all are!!!!

    Because true beauty comes from within!!! emoticon
    1917 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/19/2013 8:36:26 PM
    Thank goodness we do grow up and learn to love ourselves! I firmly believe if we don't love ourselves, how can we love others and how can we expect others to love us! You obviously will always have your curves, but what's important is that they be HEALTHY curves! You're on your way and YOU CAN DO IT!
    1917 days ago
    I can tell you are beautiful inside and out, no matter what the scale or tape measure or size tag says!
    1917 days ago
  • DONNA5281
    Nice blog. You look great!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1918 days ago
    Thank you so much. I was just looking at a picture of myself just last week. When I saw that picture, I said, "wow" you really looked good, but I was not satisfied because of others. I tell you we can be our own worse enemy. I have learned that I have to appreciate myself even though others may not. You go girl!!! emoticon
    1918 days ago
  • MJ7DM33
    Great blog! You are lookin' good girl! What a beautiful smile! emoticon
    1918 days ago
    I have a picture of me when I was in my late 20`s.I basically starved myself to lose weight.I was 130 in the picture.Yes,I was thin but I was very weak and light-headed from not eating.I keep this picture to remind me that being healthy is much better than abusing my body just to fit into a certain size.
    1918 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Sexy mama in ALL pictures! emoticon
    1918 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Awesome Blog!!! I Love Your Attitude and Pictures. You are a very Beautiful Woman. You Rock. Keep It Up. God blessings to You and Everyone. Have a Super Nice Day. Take Care. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    1918 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/19/2013 2:26:25 AM
    1918 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Look up the spark member BUFFSTUFF and see how fantastic she looks and she is over 50. You can get back to 132# if you want.
    When I was 17, I was 5'4" and 118#, but I had a big rear since I was 34-23--37. My husband was my boyfriend then and he woud always tell me how he hated that I had such a "flat chest" so I hated my figure too. When I was 27 and had had my first child, he took "fat pictures " of me because I was at 130#. So I know what it is like to be there. I should have gotten a divorce and left, but I was worried about what people would say. Dumb. We live and learn.
    1918 days ago
    You are BEAUTIFUL doll. Don't ever forget that.
    1918 days ago
    You rock!
    1918 days ago
    You go girl!!
    1918 days ago
    You are gorgeous girl!! Inside and out. emoticon
    1918 days ago
    You have a fabulous attitude! Thanks for the inspiration and the reminder that beauty is already here now, not in 5/10/whatever more pounds lost. Also, I love your fashion sense! Where do you shop?

    Have an awesome week!
    1918 days ago
    I love your attitude! I was like you in high school. Very self conscious and compared myself to all of the "beautiful people" - I never measured up. Now I realize that I had an inner beauty that many of them didn't have. Not only was I attractive on the outside but I was beautiful on the inside. I only wish that I had realized it then. I would have saved myself years of torment and self hatred.

    You were beautiful then and you are even more beautiful now!!!!!
    1918 days ago
    I think we always see something that is not as bad as we think, you were and are beautiful,
    1918 days ago
    I think all your photos are rather pretty. : ))
    1918 days ago
    I love this blog! You know, when I went to my prom, I had the same insecurities and was about the same size! And though I don't have a digital photo to show you, when I saw a photo from that day (it was 25 years ago), I thought the same thing as you - why didn't I see that I was just right!

    I love that you wrote, "I'm going to hold my head high and prance around every dance floor I can find between my current weight and my GOAL weight and if I never get there I will enjoy the journey and realize I am made exactly how I was intended to be"! I love this! This has been my new mission of late - to enjoy the journey and focus on feeling good now, no matter what size I may be!
    1918 days ago
    You were, are, and shall remain...so beautiful! emoticon
    1918 days ago
    I like the way I look now because I was so thin. I mean I was alright looking but definitely I'm a fine wine....lol

    God bless & look at her......hot chicka!

    1918 days ago
  • DRPOOH63
    You look amazing - at 27 or 17! What a great blog and reminder!
    1918 days ago
    Aw you look so beautiful! I really hope you can see it because I certainly can : )
    1918 days ago
    I hear so much confidence in your words and I love that you own loving and appreciating yourself...AWESOME!! And I'm so with you, your beauty is far more than a number on a scale. Stay healthy and do YOU!!
    1918 days ago
  • SKY214
    I'm a lot older than you and felt and feel the same way when I look at old pictures of myself. It's funny how we are never quite satisfied with ourselves at whatever period of our lives we are. Thankfully I have finally figured out, just as you have, that I'm a work in progress. You're lucky that you discovered this now and its allowing you to gain a new perspective. Bravo to you! When I grow up I wanna be just like you! emoticon
    1918 days ago
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