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Monday, February 18, 2013

OK About one year and a lot of struggles since my start
I have completely stopped smoking which is a major accomplishment for me. I am so much healthier and feel so much better.
I have lost about 45 pounds Am I happy with this? Heck no!! But it is better than what I would have lost if I hadn't begun this jouney of mine.
I am trying to use Chris Powell's high low style of eating to lose some more.
I continue to try and exercise. I now have my inversion table which made it possible to start exercise in the first place because of my back. An elliptical for bad weather and total gym for strength training. I have zumba, walk it out and fitness for wii. I use these as I need to to stay motivated. My favorite right now is I took the mower and cut a trail around our property to walk/jog This is my favorite right now but the weather is a problem I can not stand the cold any more (58 years in the south).
Since I began I have two relatives who have made a start to recapture their health and happiness. So proud of both of them and extremely excited for them.
I lost my youngest sister and her loss has made me appreciate life more and I am thankful we had her for as long as we did. I think of her often and continue to hope for the best for her children They were what she lived for.
I am thankful for my husband and grandson's support and am so glad I have them around to pick at , tease and encourage me. Their pride in me sustains me and reminds me what I am in this for!!

I think the absolute most surprising side effect that I didn't expect is I LOVE TO EAT! Yeah I know how can someone 120 pounds over weight not realize that they love to eat. Well eating was shameful for me. I grew up in a house where being overweight was shameful You were ridiculed and I even had an older sister who was so effected she died from complications due to morbid obesity.

I have learned the joy of healthy food and the feeling of allowing yourself to enjoy and savor the healthy meals that I now know how to prepare for my family. I know that my body still suffers from the years of starvation diets and the effects of the weight after I finally gave up trying to be skinny. I can remember the times I would look at my wrists with the bones sticking out from my weight loss and guess what everyone; I remember how FAT I felt. All of my life I felt FAT. I would go for days with barely any food and I hated food. Well I won't go into what created me but I understand it now. Spark has helped with this I didn't learn it all here But this website has been an important part of my journey.

My goal for 2013 To lose more of the fat I carry around. But more important to be able one day to look at my body and not cringe and self loathe. I am closer Not there yet, but I know in my heart and head I am on my way to that point. And as the wise ones say; The joy is in the journey, If not youre doing something wrong

I am going to hit Post now before I chicken out and delete everything or start crying dont want to cry cuz I should be celebrating!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    good job ..
    3078 days ago
    It is a struggle but one worth going for. So any progress is awesome. Keep up the good work and we all benefit from each other knowing we go through real experiences, issues and trials. Little steps before the big awesome.
    3078 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13416273
    You have come a long way. Be proud of how much you've lost in a years time on top of quitting smoking. That's fantastic!
    I can understand what you mean about always feeling fat, even when you actually weren't. I can remember being 130 lbs and thinking I still needed to lose weight ( I'm 5'9" tall). I can remember being 140 lbs and crying because I felt I was huge. Now I'm 254 lbs. What does that say? Now I'm working to be more accepting of myself, to love myself more, and to learn to enjoy what I eat instead of thinking everything is off limits and that I need to starve myself to lose the weight.
    Yes, I want to lose the weight. But I only want to reach a healthier size below 200 lbs. I know I'll never be a size 10 again and I'm ok with that. My main thing is being healthier both in body and in spirit. emoticon
    3078 days ago
    emoticon I am at the beginning of trying stop smoking for the 4 or 5 time any suggestions?
    3078 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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