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Ups and downs

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Friday I got the stomach bug, it started to hit me as I finished my lifting at the gym-so glad I got it in before hand! So my eating was all over the map eating mostly soup and not really tracking anything makes me unsure of how the weigh in will go tomorrow...but, whatever happens I know I'm succeeding. I decided to get out all the umpire pants and try them on...I couldn't wear three of the four pair I have most of last year. I'm so happy that all but a pair of size 8's (which i havent worn in 3 years) fit...I was not sure I had made that much progress, so it was a spirit lifter.

While I was recovering on Saturday, I spent a lot of time surfing the Internet. I looked up the past contestants from the Biggest Loser to see where they are now. Surprisingly, the majority have all gained weight back. Some have kept most of their weight off, but only a few are within 20 pounds of where they were at the final. That made me realize, once again, just how hard maintaining is, after the loss. In my heart I know this, but in my head, I still won't give myself a break on being in that same boat. I still fight that inner self-loathing that got me back here. I see people post quotes stating "we are not the number on the scale" or our weight doesn't dictate our self-esteem", etc. of course any sensible person knows this to be a healthy view....but apparently it's just not what my head believes...I know that I'm on top of the world, when I'm at my healthy weight, I've been there, it's true...but every pound I gain, moves me farther away from that feeling...I don't know if I'll ever get past that....but I can get back to that weight...and I will...that is in my control!

So, some ups and some downs, but my alarm is set and I'm ready to start the second part of my 8 week workout tomorrow morning...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yeah, have read similar things about Biggest Loser contestants. No surprise with all the massive and artificial supports they've enjoyed having been pulled out from under. That's my biggest peeve about the show: it is so divorced from the reality of what it takes to make a lasting lifestyle change!

    For that it takes a Spark & our SparkFamily.

    1890 days ago
    I think I understand about gaining the weight back. I'm not sure yet, I've just really started this in January, but it seems like to make permanent change requires a change in how we think about ourselves which would take more than exercise and following a diet.
    I've started doing aerobics which I'm enjoying, but am struggling with the food thing.

    My approach has been to learn to believe that Jesus really loves me, something I know in my head and have heard 1000 times but definitely have not internalized. So my plan is to sing or play on the piano the song every day the tune "Jesus Loves Me".

    It would be interesting to know what attitudes or values changed between the people who kept the weight off and those who didn't.

    1891 days ago
    emoticon Glad to hear that you are feeling better.

    emoticon Maintenance IS Going to be a Life Long Struggle. I think once we Accept that fact, we can formulate the Plan that will work for us. Just as a Diabetic is ALWAYS a Diabetic, we who were Once Obese will Never be the same as Someone who has had a "Normal BMI" all their Lives.

    emoticon It will be a Daily Battle, but We Are Worth It!! And, with Spark People Tools, we have the Ammunition to Win The War!!
    1891 days ago
    1891 days ago
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