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Caging the Beast

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Two days down, a billion to, my life should not be a countdown. Right now, I am feeling like I am "getting through" my days though, instead of living and enjoying them. On the outside, it appears I am living and enjoying them; on the inside, there is a battle raging. I am winning the battle. I am practicing self-control and eating in range...all day long. But right now, it feels like holding a monster in a cage. It's tough. But I'm doing it. I am glad to see the day come to the end, though. And I don't think I should feel that way. I know it will get better. It's just a big change.

Isn't it funny how, to the viewing audience, no one knows or realizes what is going on inside? We just look calm, normal, in control...on the inside, we are anxious, worried, fighting the good fight, and determined. No wonder I am ready for bed at the end of the day. It's not that I've run a marathon or anything, it's just that I've held the beast of my appetite in a cage all day. Sleep is the one place where I can let fight...just sleep...I don't have to worry that I will slip up and have to get back on track again. Now, I understand why getting back on track is so hard. If you were putting a beast in a cage (I envision the big blue monster from Monster's Inc...though he was a sweetheart), the hardest part of the battle WOULD be getting ahold of him and forcing him in the cage. Just like the hardest part of this battle with our appetites and eating is getting on track to begin with...getting a day or two under our belts of on-track eating.

From there, you close the door may take some pushing and shoving to get it all the way shut...a few more days of on-track eating. Then, you can drop the it's getting easier. Now put the lock on it...the beast may be swatting at you and trying to knock it from your hands...but be determined. With the lock through the latch, click it shut. A week of obedience is done. Now turn your back and walk away. Live your life in obedience and self-control, day by day. Set up a surveilance camera to watch the cage and make sure he doesn't break any bars or break the latch...keep him monitored. Keep tracking. If you see him breaking out, take measures to repair the damage before he escapes again. Check your basics...what's in place? What's not? Sleeping...tracking meals...seeking grazing/binges...tracking progress...exercising...connec
ting...??? If anything is missing, correct it BEFORE you go off course. BEFORE he breaks out of the cage. And if he does happen to get out, put on your battle gear and fight him back in. That beast cannot rage in your life. It doesn't work. You can't co-exist. He has his place...caged up. You have your place, living a life of health and happiness.

So, right now, I am in the "holding the gate shut" phase of the battle. It is hard. But I'm doing it. The appetite will wear down and settle down. I will get the gate shut. I just have to persist...I cannot give in to it one little inch right now. I see that. This too shall pass...but only if I persist.

Hope you all are having a great weekend. I had a good day yesterday. We returned a DVD player that was not working right, had Mia's nails trimmed, and went to see a movie. We saw Safe Haven. Good flick. I had delicious grilled chicken salad for supper. I'm on range. Today, I begin C25K. I'm looking forward to it. Oh, and I signed up for a 5K. It's in Paul Brown Stadium. It's a Girls On The Run 5K. I'm really excited about it. I will be running with over 750 pre-teen girls and their coaches. The girls will be doing their first 5K. This program goes through 12 weeks with the girls teaching them self-esteem and healthy living through walking and running. I had never heard of it before. It's nationwide. It seemed like a "safe" environment for me to try my hand at running MY first 5K. So, we'll see.

Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SHARON10002
    I think you've been reading my mind, Cathy. This is how I feel most of the time. It is a lot of "work" and a constant battle to try to stay within range, eat healthy, and all of it. I do agree at some point it HAS to get easier.
    You are doing it! Stay on track - emoticon ! Great goal to run the 5K! I wish you total success in that endeavor.
    Together emoticon !
    1887 days ago
    If anyone can "cage the beast" you can!! It is hard & finding what works for ourselves is not easy. You are doing a great job. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1890 days ago
    Good job. You are doing well. I am trying to improve too.
    1890 days ago
    It is a never-ending battle and once you let your guard down, the beast is out.
    I've been having some food issues myself lately. Trying to keep on track but it's hard.
    You are doing great! Keep it up!!
    1891 days ago
    Caging the beast is a good analogy for any self destructive behavior. You always express your ideas so well. On the caging thing, I personally think that winter makes it much tougher than it should be. Even though I am active in the winter I am longing for spring. What a great 5K program for girls. I know you'll have fun and totally rock it. Hope your GBaby is thriving. Mine is, she was 20+ pounds. OMG!
    1891 days ago
    This fight shouldn't be such a big battle. When will it just become a lifestyle that we don't obsess about? Glad you're holding the beast at bay!
    1891 days ago
    What you describe is what I feel like, at times! It feels like I'm biting down on a bullet! It's a struggle, really! For me, expelling a lot of energy in my exercise helps! I'm enJOYing my spin classes & I feel "depleted" afterwards! I guess we all have to find what works for us, don't we! I betcha the running can do it for ya! Give it a go!

    WooHoo on the run in May & getting your groove on! And when in May, may I ask? I'll be coming up to Ohio in May, & if it's around the same time, well...I'll do the run w/ya! I would LOVE that! Let me know, ok?

    Hugs & love!

    1891 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/17/2013 5:53:17 PM
    Sounds like a lovely day, and just what you needed to rejuvenate! I've been planning to see that movie too -- glad to hear it's as good as "they" say!
    1891 days ago
    Years ago, when people asked how I was doing, I always replied, "surviving," My brother picked p on that at old me I have to move from surviving to thriving. Working on our goals, moving forward, enjoying success is all part of the thriving, and you seem to be moving that way. Way to go!
    1892 days ago
    hang in there sister! we can do this. i'm doing a 5k color run in may. fun times ahead. emoticon
    1892 days ago
    awwww, you shouldn't have talked about Sulley, you made me see him in a cage and feel sorry for him emoticon kidding , anything that helps is good.thanks for reminding me about that movie, I should watch it again
    1892 days ago
    Great that you are going to do the 5K! I have never done that!

    I never thought of this as caging the beast, but it so PERFECTLY describes what we are all trying to do.
    1892 days ago
    I love your image of the monster in the cage! I'm been fighting to get him back in there, too. This week was the first I've stayed in range every day for ages.

    That 5K program sounds so cool! Good luck with's how I became a runner!

    1892 days ago
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