Thursday, February 14, 2013
How is it that a person can be fine one day and then the next day be totally down? Bipolar? crazy? lazy? all of the above? I tell you this is me. I feel so down I am sick. I don't care about anything at this moment. Why is it so hard to look for the good in things? I know what needs to be done but yet I cannot make myself do it. Is that hopelessness? do I feel like when I have done what I am supposed to do it wont feel done? Is THIS AS GOOD AS IT GETS? I am frustrated with myself. I hate myself. It is true that no matter who loves you, if you don't love yourself it means nothing. If you can't love yourself how can you love others? Is my love for my children and family fake? pretend? I tell myself no. My love for them is real. I believe in 100% all, but feel like I never meet 100% expectation. Am I making myself depressed because I expect more than what I can do? Will I ever see the good in what I do? I don't know. One day at a time. Focus. Plan. DO. my motto should be just do it. Stop looking at the overwhelming picture and just do something. Tomorrow is another day to start. Don't let yourself be sick. Fight the feeling. Be happy, look to be happy. Strive to be better. Project Me has taken some severe punches and taken me down. Took a rest a couple of days "wallowing in darkness". Can't allow another day. . . time to move forward again. I believe that it is good to cry, to let the sadness out, but don't let the sadness overcome you. There is hope always. Christ is hope, my children are hope, my family is hope. Remember that You Affect Others. You have a purpose and it is not to be dead in the ground, no matter how much you may want nothing, there will always be something.
remember you are worth it and everything that you have been through shall be for the good.