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***a quick burst of randomness***

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Haya there! I have no prophetic words this morning, just a lot of little thinks twinkling in this bog ol- head of mine.

*Sopapilla bars are dangerous. I hosted a Bake-Off/Bake Sale at work for the American Heart Association. One of the entries was Sinful Sopapilla Bars. I tried to stay away. I tasted one. I bought two more. THEY WERE AMAZING. They also contained cream cheese and some other sort of ooey gooey goodness which I think was butter and cinnamon. My little bars and the sliver of German Chocolate Cake I ate (it was a sliver) set me back almost 700 calories!!!! THankfully I only had a protein shake for breakfast, had a light lunch and a light dinner. Went for a 3 mile run after work and ended up with a big calorie deficit.

*Did my first outdoor run of the year. It wasn't too bad considering it was 45 degrees and I haven't run in a while. Managed to run 75% of it, probably closer to 80%. Had to skip the big hills and walk up those bad boys. Took me 50 minutes to do a little over 3 miles. My 5k time is 36-37 minutes so this was definitely a liesurely run and those hills set me back a bit but it was a good workout.

*I am nervous about getting on the scale tomorrow. I haven't been as tight with my nutrition and exercise as I have intended. At the start of the year I had a goal of 214 by 02/14. I am highly doubtful I am there. I am probably still at 218 from a week and a half ago. But I will get on the dang thing anyway. My ultimate goal is to lose 7 lbs in February. I am down 2 and need 5 more.

*I have a big emotional decision to make. My daughter passing will be 3 years on May 29th. Every year The March of Dimes does a huge walk and my family walked every year until her passing and immediately after her passing we raised money. The past 2 years I have been an emotional wreck and couldn't do it. I really feel like I owe it to Alicia to walk and raise money and awareness for her but am afraid that I will have an emotional setback after the walk. However, I also think it could be an wmotional break thru for me as well. I am flirting with the idea and ultimately I want to do what is best for my baby and kiddos like her.

Well I have to run to the dentist. Getting Invisalign. Talk to you later.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi Nik,
    You are so amazing, with your keeping it in check, keeping a great attitude about the run & your weight loss.
    Honestly about sounds like you are ready to do the walk again. Celebrate her life. You are in a much different place now. Darrel will do it with you and you are embarking on a new chapter with him where she is watching over you!
    Celebrate it. You are an amazing Momma and friend and fiance(soon to be wife). Celebrate her and everything that you have accomplished with your love and life with her. You are a different person now, then you were even a year ago. God will help guide you and help your heart still heal.
    Love you! xo
    1950 days ago
  • DLG0505
    Great job on the outdoor run! Running is one of those things I would like to get into doing. My sister is a runner and she swears by it. Course she only weighs 120 lbs. Probably a bit easier on her body than it is on mine!

    I've never had a Sopapilla bar and by the sounds of it, it's probably a good thing I've not had one. They sounded awesome.

    I'm also so sorry to hear about your daughter. Just do what is best for you. Let your heart guide you. It may be a heart lifting experience for you if you do. When is the walk scheduled to be held? I really need to get more informed on the happenings in Omaha!

    Hope you have a great Valentine's Day!
    1951 days ago
  • KNH771
    One of my co-workers makes those sopapilla bars! They definitely look sinful (though I've never actually eaten one).

    I don't have much advice on the walk... if you don't feel peace about doing it, then I would let it go. There are a number of ways to honor your daughter's memory, and that doesn't have to be one of them. emoticon
    1951 days ago
    So sorry to learn about the loss of your daughter. I agree with ALICIALYNNE that you will figure it out. Maybe your fiance and/or other family members have some good words of wisdom for you to help you figure it out? But ultimately, you will have the strength and courage to decide what is best. Hugs, girl.

    Those Soapapillas are ahh-mazing. My friend made a lightened up version for one of our girls nights. I will have to ask her for that recipe, now that you've reminded me!

    1951 days ago
    First off good for you on the running. I'm aiming to be like you as I continue to grow up in jogging emoticon Did my 30 min wog yesterday outside got to get better. We have a Valentine's Day bake sale tomorrow hopefully I can stay away...but it's hard when you're a part of the selling team :)

    As for your decision to walk - I believe in letting your heart guide you. I do the breast cancer walk on Mother's Day in honor of my mom and also the one in October. I think about her a lot when I do it but I know she's smiling because I do. We did it together the first time. But you'll know if you're ready to make that move ...
    1951 days ago
    I've had those sopapillas before. I liken them to crack cocaine. Althought I've never had coke before, I have seen a coke head and the extent to which they would go for a fix. The goodies may have set you back 700cals but it sounds like it was 700cals of sheer heaven! :)
    1951 days ago
  • DONNA5281
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
    As for the walk you need to do what is best for you.

    1951 days ago
  • MAY_MAY007
    Sorry to learn of your loss. Pray on it, and listen for God's instruction. Either way your little angel will be pleased! Rather you reach your goal or not, You've come a long way & that's motivation for me and a whole bunch of Sparkies like me! Have a great rest of the week!

    Peace & Blessings!
    1951 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    O wow Nikki, I'm sorry for your loss. It seems like you want to do the walk. You need to find a way to make it a celebration, a way to honor her. I think if you do that, you'll make the right decision for you.
    1951 days ago
    You should do what is better for your mind and soul. I'm sure your angel is very proud of you whatever you decide to do.
    1951 days ago
    My condolences for the loss of your daughter. No one here can tell you what you should do; that is definitely a decision that should be made for yourself.
    1951 days ago
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