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Rant and ramble

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I've learned a lot in the last two years, much of it about me and what I'm responsible for in my life. I've also learned that I have the right to limit time spent with folks who don't do positive things for my health. Unfortunately, my mom sometimes falls into this category.

Growing up, I was a chubby child and this distressed my mom. She had me on low carb diets at age nine because she told me "people will like you better if you're skinny". Clearly, that was not in the cards for me and I grew into adulthood still on the heavy side and resenting those pressures from her and deciding that "watching my weight" was something in which I was not interested. She was so obssessive about food and eating and it made me uncomfortable. I knew that when I had kids, I did not want to put them through that.

Thankfully, neither of my children has challenges with food or weight. I never made it an issue and tried to share with them the healthy habits that I did have, like eating lots of fruits and veggies and doing a lot of home cooking. When they were old enought to understand appropriately, I was honest with them about my overeating and why I thought I did it, and that's the best I could do at the time.

I've been here on SP consistently for 2 years now. I've lost over 60 lbs. and maintained that loss. I'm really proud of this and can feel that I am a different person when it comes to food. However, I must admit that there are days when I sort of miss it - overeating, I mean. It really was like having a faithful friend (at least for the 30 seconds before the cookie was gone.)

I've done this my way with Sparkpeople - not by going on "starvation diets" like my Mom (she still does this) and when she wants to "exchange diet tips" I can feel the resentment boiling up inside of me. She's been nice to me about it, but can't believe that I can get myself to voluntarily sweat or that I can have some sort of dessert with each dinner (I plan it and track it - not that hard to understand, but she just won't listen.) I don't want to share this with her and most of the time I avoid it pretty easily, but sometimes it still gets to me.
I've seen a therapist about this and I do cope pretty well, but sometimes I just need to vent!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HFAYE81
    I have a similar mom. When I get frustrated, I just remember that she's only human, quite possibly a weak one at that, and that she won't be around forever. It's just that every time she opens her mouth, I'm transported to being a powerless 7 year old. We can do it though, we are our own people and are doing what's right for us! emoticon
    1926 days ago
    It's nice to be able to blog and vent every now and then. I find it very therapeutic. It's great that you have lost 60 pounds and have a healthy attitude about your life.
    1927 days ago
    Feel free to vent whenever you need to! We are here for you!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1927 days ago
    Some people just don't believe you can lose weight without suffering.
    1928 days ago
    I took a huge gasp of air when I read...'she told me "people will like you better if you're skinny".' Holy crap!!

    Growing up, my mom always struggled with her weight so I constantly saw her exercising and counting calories. Her mom was overweight as well and mom explained to us why she baked everything rather than frying it and why we had lots of healthy food choices in the house. I grew up with healthy eating habits....not so many exercise habits....I'm working on those.

    Now, my kids see me exercising and talking about portion control and healthy choices. We have a box of candy that stays full and we have ice cream and chips and cookies in the house, but we also have fresh fruit and veggies and whole wheat pasta and I bake rather than fry my foods. My big thing for the whole family is moderation. If you want candy after dinner, have candy.....but have 3 or 4 pieces, not 3 or 4 handfuls. My oldest is a little self-conscious but I don't encourage him to lose weight. Instead, I encourage him to ride his bike and play sports. I invite him and his friends on walks with us around the neighborhood.

    I make a point of telling all of my children they are perfect as they are but when my teenager complains about his love handles in one breath and then eats a whole box of girl scout cookies in the next, I point out that he has choices. If you want to eat the whole box, eat the whole box...but don't complain about your weight. If you want to lose the love 3 or 4 cookies and go on a walk with me. It's his body so therefore, it's his choice. He thinks I'm thin as I am now and don't need to lose weight but I think I need to lose another 15-20lbs....according to BMI, I need to lose 15-20. That's my choice.

    I hope I'm educating him and not brow beating him like your mother did you but that's a fine line to walk. I'll have to go home and have a chat with him to see how he's feeling lately.

    Thank you for venting. You got this off of your chest, but you also made a few people think.
    1928 days ago
    Giant step . . . venting vs. holding the resentment inside! UGH

    1928 days ago
    KUDOS to you! You have definitely made progress.
    1928 days ago
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