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Loving Me

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dear Me---
You are a beautiful amazing nice person and the world is such a better place with you in it.
I love who you are now and I see great potential in you and that you have great things in your future, just learn to beleive in yourself and have the faith in you that others have.
You need to learn that it's ok to be happy and that you deserve far more than you have allowed yourself in the past. I know that the past was hard and you are no stranger to pain and hurt and loosing things and that loosing your Mom was hard BUT honey it's time to allow yourself to be happy, truly happy. think back to that time when you were always with your girlfriends and making others laugh, to when you enjoyed life and getting prettied up and looked forward to things.
You were creative and everyone who you allowed in loved you because you are a funny person, you always made people laugh.
its time to find that girl again, she didn't die, you just buried her in layers of fat and hurt. It's time to let her come out and play again. time to let her enjoy those things you used to love but pushed off for whatever reason. It's time to think of yourself first. time to move on from everything and everyone that has held you back and kept you from shining. time to shine again because once you turned that light off a slice of you slowly started to fade, honey its time to find that slice again because you are amazing.
You have over come so much in your life. and you are so strong and beautiful and its time to love yourself just as much as you have loved others. its time to be happy again.
I know its hard and sometimes it feels like guilt to be happy without your mom but its been almost 2 years now. She wouldnt want you sad. She would want you happy.
Please be kind and loving and gentle to yourself from now on. you know you are beautiful on the inside and outside and that is why you turned off your light and stopped shining because you didnt want to be hurt again but in that blocking out the hurt you also blocked out the happiness too. the only true happiness you have had since high school with yourself was thru dudes and lies and not the way it should have been. but that is the past.
All is forgiven. this is the real you and I love you.
Saying I love you now and I will never leave you. And God will never leave us.
Please come back to me. I see glimpses of you now and then and it makes my heart happy.
Please come back....
I love you so much and I want you to know its going to be ok and its safe to be us again.
Love Forever.
Your best friend

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