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You Can't Run From Grief

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

It has been a horrific week so far...remember my walking friend? Last week she texted me, saying she was depressed and it was winter, and she doesn't want to walk in the cold. And I told her no worries, I would be here when she's ready...and she's a great friend, I love walking with her. Yesterday, her 3rd grader died from pneumonia. Same class as my 3rd grader, great kid...really smart and a vibrant girl; I can't get her infectious smile out of my head! I'm glad to remember her this way, but it is haunting right now. I can't believe this has happened. My friend, and her husband, both teach at the middle school, and my oldest 2 kids have had them for math and science. They are good, caring teachers, and nice neighbors, and just a great family. Why do such things happen to people like this???

I guess some things aren't for us to understand. I ran 3 miles this morning, but couldn't make sense out of anything, and physically I felt good when I was done, but emotionally...not. My heart is just broken for them. If someone could just please explain it to me, that would be great.

I want to tell them how much we are hurting for them, but I want them to have space too. I just don't know what to do right now. I hope in a few weeks I can get my friend to walk with me again. She doesn't have to talk about it if she doesn't want to, I just want her to know she can if she needs to.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh my God! That is just awful. I hope you can try to be there for her, even if you have no idea what to say. I have no idea how one goes on after they loose a child like that. We all forget that children do die of sickness and diseases that we all treat as normal life nuisances. I will be thinking harder the next time I am sick on whether or not I should go out if I think I may be contagious.
    1918 days ago
    How horrible. I can't imagine what those poor parents are going through. You being there when she is ready to be active is a great contribution. I hope they are able to find some peace soon. I will be thinking about them. I saw her obit this morning, she looked like such a sweetheart.
    1922 days ago

    Sending a card with a hand-written message and maybe a basket of fruit. The card can be kept simple - "I'm here for you if you need me." Sometimes that can convey more than any pre-written message. People used to send food (casseroles, meals, etc) when families had a birth or a death to help the family.
    1922 days ago
    1922 days ago
  • OPTIMIST1948
    Send acard. You canconvey your emotions and give her her space. Any deathsin the ffamily, I have always found tremendous comfort from my shared grief.
    1923 days ago
  • COOP9002
    The ministry of presence is powerful. Situations like these often show words to be rather empty. AS LAC said, this grief is the worst kind to deal with. Your willingness to be there for your friends is far more significant than you realize.
    1923 days ago
  • LAC936
    The loss of a child is the worst kind of grief. Your friend needs to get help with a grief counselor to deal with this and possibly a group that has others dealing with this issue. If you haven't lost a child you can't possibly know what she's feeling and can only offer support when she needs it. I'm so sorry for her loss and pain and your concern.

    emoticon emoticon
    1923 days ago
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