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Let down

Monday, February 11, 2013

I have been trying so hard to get my hubby and oldest son on board with low carb, but it just isn't working! It seems like things go ok fr a few days, then I find taco bell wrappers in the trash, or one of them lets it slip that they had a midnight hamburger snack.... And from horrible fast food places. I think the two of them bond over being buddy buddy keeping secrets from mom a bt too much. Today I get home all ready to make chicken provincial and find that they order a pizza for a snack! Not lunch, not dinner, just a snack!! My sons excuse was that he had to use up his free coupon. This is right after I just had a seemingly heartfelt talk with my husband about not encouraging his son to do this! DH is mot likely over 250 lbs and only 5'11".... DS is about 230 now at 6'2".... Seriously a big boned kid, but this is all in his gut! I feel like just giving up but I can't! At least not my son.

So, that is my vent for today. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow, Thank you everyone for all the great ideas! I really appreciate it and feel much more positive now.

    I do cook lots of good low carb food, as I absolutely adore cooking. It is just when they eat that and THEN turn around and sneak bad stuff. But I will try not to nag them anymore and will concentrate more on myself for a while!

    Laura emoticon
    1923 days ago
    Maybe low carb isn't the way to go for them? If you can get them eating healthful foods in healthier portions (say, making a pizza at home and serving healthy sides?), that might be a better way to go that cutting out foods they adore.

    That said, if they don't want to participate in your healthy lifestyle, there's not much you can do to stop them. Don't get discouraged. If they see how well you do, they might start taking your advice (just make sure not to lord it over them or "I told you so").

    Good luck!
    1923 days ago
    What I did was just keep eating my healthy stuff without saying anything, and this morning my son asked if he could have some of my green smoothie for breakfast...
    1923 days ago
    I agree with Nancy. Obviously they can cook/buy their own food so maybe just cook for yourself for a while and let them see the strides your making and that could be encouraging enough for them to try and adopt your current food choices. Plus this worry just adds to your stress and then you're feeling down and sometimes that can lead to a breakdown of your motivation. We can only control ourselves... Plus it's often said that a person won't change until they are ready. I'm hopeful I didn't say anything offensively. You are doing great!
    1923 days ago
    It can be really tough to encourage others to adopt any plan they haven't come to on their own. We've been on this doctor-prescribed diet for over a year (well, I've been on longer than that), and it's only been in the last 6 months or less that DH is actually involved on a personal level. Not that he doesn't still stray from it, but it's not something imposed by someone other than himself (doctor or spouse!). Each person has to understand it - not just because it's told to them - at a personal level. Without that, you're ALWAYS going to be the "diet police."

    If their downfall is certain foods, learn to make them low-carb. You'd like them to comply with the nutritional plan you've given them. So, now do your part to comply with their food choices! they love pizza? well, there's lots of recipes out there for pizza. Try them until you find one they like. Hamburgers? oh, honey. There's little I love better than a great big juicy burger patty with all the trimmings...except for the bread! In fact, for me now, putting it on a hunk of bread actually ruins it. Just give me that meat piled up with every goodie on the condiment carousel! mmmmm I saw some recipes recently for low-carb brownies that looked so good I was nearly drooling on the page. That's definitely going to be something to try!

    There are lots of things out there that are like that. We can have all the scrumptious sauces and indulgent additions we want! Make use of that. Sure, it's not as convenient as the drive-through...not as simple as pulling a prepackaged dinner out of the freezer. But if you hope for them to make the effort, and to "sacrifice" the foods they're accustomed to, you have to be SEEN to be willing to make similar efforts (and I don't mean what *you* eat) on their behalf. A change this big isn't a directive. It's a cooperative.

    "Training" is a positive-reinforcement activity. Give them good, approve loudly and frequently for any little gesture toward the plan. Try not to radiate disappointment when they aren't in compliance (I find this especially difficult: even when I don't SAY anything, evidently my expression or demeanor says it all). Then all you can do is keep on keeping on, and hope they'll come around eventually. As I mentioned at the outset here, even on doctor's orders it's taken many months for my husband to begin to adopt the concept. Be patient. Stick to your guns, and be the best facilitator and enabler you can be. That's as much as you can do!
    1923 days ago
    Try to show them that they don't have to deprive themselves on low carb. They can order the pizza, but tell them they can just eat the top of the pizza and not the crust. Tell them they can have a hamburger even TWO hamburgers, but throw away the bun. Tell them it's not about eating like a rabbit all the time, but that they can have the things that they like, just minus the carbs. I find it's easier to be on a "diet" (even though I really hate that word), if I don't feel like I have to deprvie myself from the things that I like. My teenage son loves it when I make omletts and bacon for him on the weekends and that our "diet" food.

    1923 days ago
    I'm surprised that over time my DH and two DS's are slowly "drifting" to lower carb. Part of it is because it's just easier to not have to make separate dishes for me, and part of it is because GOOD low carb food is GOOD! Think about it. It's filling, satisfying, and just plain tasty. A nice piece of steak with a big pile of veggies drizzled in butter doesn't leave much room for potatoes!

    Over time your "normal" will start to become their "normal". In the meantime you'll just have to deal with it. They probably think you're feeling deprived because you're "on a diet". When they see that this is just the way you eat now and you're not at all deprived then they'll feel less threatened and more likely to get on board.
    1923 days ago
    It is really frustrating to try to change other people's habits and/or to MAKE someone eat the way we want them to. Step back and take a moment to recall how YOU felt when someone tried to tell YOU what to eat. I understand the desire to push, but sometimes you get better results by NOT pushing. Make the lovely dinner and enjoy YOUR portion, offer it to them and don't say anything to them about the pizza. I KNOW myself well enough that if someone were trying to FORCE me to eat or NOT to eat something, I would absolutely BALK at it and do the OPPOSITE. I KNOW it is unhealthy but if someone tells me I can NOT have it or I MUST eat something - I simply refuse, I would even sneak it. If you can bite your tongue and not make it an issue, they won't feel like they have to hide their treats and might even stop doing these things that drive you nuts if they don't appear to make you nuts any longer. Maybe even tell them that you will no longer be policing their eating but that you love them enough that you KNOW they will make good choices. CAUTION - don't do this when YOU are upset, angry, or still fuming - wait until a neutral time and place and talk to them about the importance of being healthy for YOU and that they are old enough to make their own choices but that you will be serving healthy, nutritious, tasty meals in the future. Try to remain peaceful and in control when you do this. Good luck, I hope your dinner was delicious.
    1924 days ago
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