Here's Me, Blogging Again

Monday, February 11, 2013

All right, I've written this thing 3 times now. I'm having a difficult time expressing myself. While not new, definitely never stops being frustrating. I'm not trying to impress anyone, I'd just like to sound like I'm a teensy bit smart. Just a lil' bit.
I decided to start blogging more regularly because I really need the accountability. Telling "someone" (even though the potential is there for it to really be no one) what I think, feel and plan means I have to attempt to do those things and really keep attempting them until I finally get them down. I'm nothing if not tenacious...
SO, I feel disappointed in myself because I started an HLC and my first weigh-in is a gain. 0.8lbs but a gain nevertheless. I traveled last week and did not realize HLC was starting until I happened to check SMail, so I was caught off guard. However, I have been working to develop healthy eating and exercise habits for several weeks, so it's not lke the concept was new. I wasn't waiting for the challenge to lose weight, be healthy, etc. But traveling brings it's own challenges, so on that count I do forgive myself for the slip.
I just feel bad because I let my team down. I mean, I think they don't feel that way. If it was another team member, I wouldn't feel that way. Stuff happens, we all know that. I contemplated waiting until Wednesday and posting my results but it feels like lying and I don't want to develop healthy habits on the edge of a bad one, especially one like lying. I'd know it was a lie and that's all that matters to me.
But, in light of all this I do have some positives and steps I am taking this week to improve so that I see a loss on the scale next week and I feel better about the steps I am making.
The positives.
1. I've maintained my promise to stop beating myself up and making myself feel like doggy doo. I think being honest with myself has really helped with that. It is what it is and it's not what it's not. So I had a gain but that's all that it is. The scale creeping up to remind me vigilence is important. And it's not the end of the world, my efforts or my life.
2. I exercised while traveling. A new one for me. Normally, I'd either bring workout DVDs and they'd stay in my backpack or I'd visit the hotel gym long enough to see it's there but this time I actually put my workout clothes on, put on my exercise DVDs and followed them. Then, I got home and I continued the program.
3. I wasn't totally out of control while traveling. I did have dessert but not everyday. Really, traveling is kind of conducive to being in control because they don't encourage you to have snacks. Heck, I couldn't even use my corporate card to buy fruit salad at the grocery store (which is probably the downside.)
This week I am taking the following steps to get myself back on track:
1. Writing it down. What I eat, how I move--all of it.
2. Picking up on my fruit & veggie intake. Already started with 4 servings of fruits and 3 servings of vegetables.
3. Continuing on my exercise plan, plus, I am going to do my best to incorporate this week's HLC to add 10 minutes of exercise daily to my routine. I think I can swing that no problem.

On that note, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders (doh! No pun intended.)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yes. Blog away the feelings. Get the support and encouragement you need. And definitely use it for accountability.

    As a teammate, I can honestly say that we are in no way disappointed! You have been a great teammate and are doing awesome!

    And a .8 weight gain is nothing!!! With the travel I'm sure it's simply water weight that will probably be gone tomorrow.

    Like your blog said, don't beat yourself up. You are AMAZING! I'm proud and happy to have you on my team!!
    2199 days ago
    Glad you feel better. I used to beat myself up over gains too. I decided that beating myself up only causes me to feel worse and usually ends in a cycle of binging. I hope this week is good to ya and that you reap the rewards on the scale. :)
    2199 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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