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Binge recovery; mom update

Monday, February 11, 2013

No getting around it – on Thursday I binged. I ate WAY too much junk (FOUR doughnuts and a gooey coffee mocha to be exact) and upset my stomach. I have been doing better at not overeating due to stress – but Thursday I lapsed. I’m back on track today with a good reminder that I HAVE to vigilant and not revert to emotional eating. And do it one day at a time, with support from others and belief in a higher power that will support me, just like alcoholics anonymous!

Mom is slipping away. She has been sleeping most of the days. I am back in Oregon, but I will fly back to see her again over the weekend. The staff has been taking excellent physical care of her and is doing great with medication (she is taking palliative care only under hospice).

One thing occurred with Mom’s nursing home that really upset me and the rest of the family.

In violation of nursing home policies, mom had given out about 20 cash donations to staff; she also had about 5 sealed envelopes with cash she hadn't given yet (because those staff were off duty when she was handing out money). She told the staff she had permission to give them gifts; she did NOT have permission. Mom is on morphine and may have dreamed the whole permission thing; she is also deaf and may have misheard. My sisters collected those 5 undelivered envelopes to re-deposit the cash. All the money had been removed and the envelopes resealed. I thought we should notify management because otherwise the staff might think they can rob Mom with impunity. My siblings disagreed, because any complaint would have to be investigated with mom being interviewed (she is the victim) and she would be devastated. My sisters and brothers worry the news would trigger another heart attack (at 93 years old, mom has many illnesses including cancer and infection in her bones, but she is dying from congestive heart failure. She had three heart attacks in the past three weeks). I went along with their decision, but I still favor notifying administration of the theft. The staff needs to know that we are watching mom carefully and they can't just take stuff while she is drugged with morphine. Mom loves and trusts the staff. $500 is missing. And my niece left her expensive designer sunglasses in mom’s room last Sunday; I placed them on the chest of drawers for my sister to retrieve and they were gone by Tuesday too. We all agreed that my sister should remove any remaining cash and mom’s checkbook. Mom’s personal treasures (gold jewelry and small jade and ivory sculptures) remain in her room and are important to her.

I met my most of my February goals this past week.
1. Sleep is still a problem. I am taking medication to help me sleep due to stress. Then I take an energy drink during the day to wake up for work. I tried to cut back on both – unsuccessfully. I’ll keep trying, particularly with the energy drink.
2. I was very successful at limiting alcohol, only one glass of wine all week. I was greatly aided in achieving this goal by the fact that I HATED the drink I was served when I went out for happy hour with my friends. I ordered sangria and it tasted nothing like sangria; it was like watered down cherry cough syrup. The bartender brought another equally awful replacement drink (she had noticed me passing around the despised beverage to all my friends, and everyone’s unanimous “YUCK!”). Anyway it was easy to abstain from drinking that rotgut on my social night out!
3. I tracked all food. I did very well with healthy eating overall (with the exception of that doughnut binge on Thursday). Even then I got right back on track with healthy eating.
4. I exercised daily for 30 minutes or more. I did Zumba and a longer (6 mile) hike on the weekend.
5. I stretched 3 times

Overall a good week of staying on track!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    That is terrible about the theft! Such awful people to take advantage of her like that and while she is ill! I would report that and insist they not disturb her, since she probably was not aware of any of it. They need to get rid of people who would do such a thing. Don't they have security cameras around there-maybe they could catch who did it by that!
    Binging on food does happen sometimes during stressful times, we all do it! Good that you are back on track and keeping at it though!! Hang in there! For what you are going through right now, you are doing great!! emoticon emoticon
    1954 days ago

    I can't imagine how difficult this all has been and continues to be for you and for your family. I agree that I would want to report this to the management. Don't feel that you have failed in the eating department...on the other hand, it sounds as if you are doing remarkably well with all the stress you are under.

    Hugs and prayers for you and yours.

    1954 days ago
  • DAWN14163
    As a stress eater myself, I am full of admiration for how well you are coping during this difficult time. You are doing brilliantly xx
    I am so sorry to hear about the appalling theft. I have to agree with what others have posted - as hard and unsavoury as it seems, you must report it.
    Thinking of you and sending hugs emoticon emoticon
    1955 days ago
  • MRSVK11
    I'm so sorry to here of your Mother's situation specially that she has been a victim of theft while in Hospice. I work in Long term care and have to tell you that your siblings are wrong! Report it immediately. A no gifts policy is standard and the staff that took the envelopes know better, in spite of your mother saying it had been approved. Please report it to the management, they will talk with your mother in an a compassionate manner and if you request it they will not involve your mother at all. But please let them know this is a disgusting act and should be stopped.
    My thoughts are with you!
    1955 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/11/2013 2:20:26 PM
  • MARTY728
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1955 days ago
    Hi Alison - 4 donuts is a relatively small binge... and it upset your stomach, which was great, so "fuggettaboutit!" (or however you spell it).

    I'm glad that your mother is being kept comfortable. Judging from my mother's death following a series of heart attacks, it sounds as if she is gradually slipping away. I'm glad that you are able to visit again this week-end.

    It's absolutely awful that people are stealing from your mother! Unforgiveable and impossible to understand. How could anyone stoop so low?

    If your mother would have to be interviewed if you reported it now, I would say don't do it... but administration has to know that this happened, and I would make sure that it is done after your mother's death. I know they won't be able to do anything about it then, and nothing will be recovered, but they have to know. If you have come to know the families of some of the other residents, I would also let them know so that they can remove valuables (unless like your mother's jewelry and statues, they are very important to the residents).

    It must be very difficult for you to focus on your work, and I'm glad that you have good friends around who can take you away from all of this for at least a little while.

    Take care, praying for your family,
    Gail emoticon
    1955 days ago
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