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Monday, February 11, 2013

I think I'm feeling too lost, sad and depressed. I came back to spark to help me with this since I think I'm feeling these feelings, because I'm still not doing what I should and lose the weight. I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself and like a loser. Some days I don't care and I get on the scale and smile because I haven't gained, but I need to be TRYING to lose - not just maintain. I don't know. I think I need therapy to deal with other crap in my head. My weight and food issues are a result of other emotions inside of me that have built up over many years. I decided once my son is 18 (year and a half) and in college and I know he's safe and taken care of there, I'm going to disappear alone. Not die, just disappear. I will keep in contact with my son, my sister and my bff so they know I'm ok. I don't know if it's age b/c I'm close to 40 or what, but I really don't feel like myself for months now. I struggle with what's 'normal' and wonder if I'm am I depressed. Anyways, I had to get that out. I'm tired of the pain inside and writing is my way to release it. It used to be exercise and feeling good about myself by exercising and eating healthy, but I just don't have the will anymore. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I really know how you feel( from what your saying) But I think you sound like a really sweet person and that putting it out here that might help and from what you said about caring about your son, you are a caregiver and I hope that we can be here to also care for and help you! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1897 days ago
    Just like you opened up here, you need to get in touch with a professional... In the mean time, please know that we are all here for you! emoticon emoticon
    1897 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1898 days ago
    i understand where u coming from im thinking same aww if /at least im not gaining but i need to lose you are in my prayers emoticon emoticon
    1898 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    1898 days ago
    You have support at SP from lots of folks. I hope you are able to find your way back to feeling your normal self.

    1898 days ago
    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I hope that you will find a counselor to talk to. Writing down your feelings in a journal may help you too. Take care!! You're in my thoughts and prayers!!


    1898 days ago
  • MAGA99
    1898 days ago
    So sorry you're feeling down, remember we all have our ups and down, know that you have our support and I encourage you to talk to someone. Writing helps me also, I wish you the best emoticon
    1898 days ago
    Please talk to your doctor about these feelings. This could be a chemical or hormonal imbalance. emoticon
    1898 days ago
    Talk with someone who you trust to keep things confidential. And just hang in there.
    1898 days ago
    I hope you will talk to a counselor about these feelings.I am keeping you in prayer. emoticon
    1898 days ago
    If you are feeling that sad and lost, you really should go to your doctor. It could be hormones, menopause, peri-menopause, or a variety of other relatively normal chemical fluctuations that are affecting you drastically/severely. A simple blood test may tell a lot - and in the meantime, we're all here for you.
    1898 days ago
    emoticon emoticon You know we are all thinking of you and hope you find a bright spot in your days. Please seek out some help, you are so worth it.
    1898 days ago
    I agree that you need to talk to someone... it could be hormones, it could be depression, but at 40, you are too young to walk away from it all. Find someone, you will be so grateful that you did. If you can't muster up the energy to do it for yourself, do it for your son, who loves you.

    My own mother suffered from does spill over.

    1898 days ago
    emoticon hope you seek professional help.
    1898 days ago
    emoticon WE LOVE YA
    1898 days ago
    Sorry you're feeling so down. Please try to seek out a professional to help you deal with some of this stuff.
    1898 days ago
  • KITT52
    sounds like you needs some help to get on the right track...hormones can play a huge part of how we feel.....good that you know you are feeling your doctor and see what they reccomend....

    good luck....your spark friends are always here for you
    1898 days ago
    You should talk with someone......a good friend, your primary care doctor. If you could do a little exercise, even if you just go out and take a small walk, you may feel better. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. It is almost summer and the weather could be depressing you right now. Try to do a little something special each day and write it down. You can look back and see how things were going for a week or two.
    1898 days ago
    Talk to someone. A professional at least that can help you cope with whatever it is inside.

    Sometimes, just talking to a confidant is good - but there are times a professional can guide you through those tough times.

    I've learned one thing in my 49 years:

    Unless you deal with the baggage at hand, no matter where you go, you'll always drag the suitcase with you.

    Hang in there!
    1898 days ago
    So sorry you are feeling this way. Have to tried talking to someone about it, like a counselor? Have you always felt this way? I cant speak for you but I know I feel so much better when I consistently workout. It doesn't have to be a lot, but something. If you ever want to talk I am willing to listen.
    1898 days ago
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