25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 29,843

That little fat girl… won't win!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Today I had a break through. I have watched Biggest Loser for so many years and seen the trainers talk about how gaining weight and being fat isn’t just about eating food. I know that things in our lives have had direct effect on the person we become. I have seen the trainers push and push till they break someone down and get inside and find out what is controlling their behaviors.
Well today I had that happen to me, and I didn't even expect it.

Someone on my FB page complained about their internet connection and several of his friend’s commented, complaining too. The point that caught my eye was that they stated that the company they were complaining about was their only choice where they lived… well it’s not. Since I am the owner of an internet company with a great new product, a product that is available everywhere as long as we can get line of sight, I put in a little note saying they might want to check out my business FB page. I didn't pitch the sale, I didn't post a long comment on what we are all about, I simply posted the link to our FB page and made the suggestion they might wish to see if we have what they need and I left it at that.

Well he responded by immediately deleting what I wrote, posting something really rude about not marketing on FB, and then continued to make more comments that I didn't even read… I wasn't really able to get that far. See, this person is someone from my past, from grade school of all things. He was one that teased, bullied, and hacked on me while I was a fat little girl in grade school. Who knew that time in my life was still in there, in my head, affecting who I am and how I feel today. I then thought about Biggest Loser and how many times I have seen that very thing. Plus this season is about kids, one of them has been talking about bullying this season.

When he did what he did on FB, the first thing that hit me was, “No matter how hard I try, I am always going to be that fat little girl who is not good enough to hang with the cool kids.”
I cried for a long time…

I was not sure how I would get past this one...
But I will! I am determined!
That little fat girl… won't win!
Hang around and watch me soar!



Motivational song for today:

"The Climb"

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I, I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep goin',
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, 'cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb


There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Yeah, yeah

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep the faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

-Miley Cyrus
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great work on identifying the old feelings of bullying and negative thoughts that his actions prompted. You are a stronger person who will succeed.
    1928 days ago
    The thing about people like him is that a complainer/bully is who HE IS! A complainer/bully is how he probably lives his life. Although it is hard not to feel like it, the problem is not you it's him. People like him would have complained about, made fun of, bullied anybody. It really has nothing to do with the person that gets bullied. You just happen to be the closest person in the vicinity to demean.
    So what does this mean for you? It means that the people that have it in their heart to be mean will, sadly enough, always be that way. You, on the other hand, are probably a nicer more thoughtful person for having gone through the experiences of bullying that you've gone through. That guy and people like him live in a negative cruel world. They project that inner negativity onto others. We've got to learn to let their comments be nothing to us but meaningless banter from this sad and hateful person. Once you begin to see that they aren't really picking on YOUR specific defaults, failuries, body, etc then you can begin to see that their words carry no power to make you feel less than. You can begin to operate from a mindset that just feels sorry for someone like that guy. He's the one that will never have true friends or people that like him for who he is because he choses to live life from a place of hate. You will be able to be attractive and edifying to others because you can have a heart of compassion and kindness. Love the little fat girl that you used to be because she deserved it back then. She helped create the you that you are today. You seem like a strong willed person. And just like your song you are going to keep on movin and climbin! :)
    I wish you the best.
    1928 days ago
    But the fat little girl SHOULD win. She didn't do anything wrong. She was just being herself, responding to others around her, wanting to be loved and liked and appreciated. She WINS by accepting everything she is CURRENTLY and by finally STANDING UP for herself!
    1929 days ago
    I say Kick that dude to the curb and knock him off your FB page. He is not worth your energy and you keep your head up high and keep climbing. Hopefully one day that guy will look within himself and see he has lots of work to do. But in the meantime you keep doing you. emoticon
    1929 days ago
    Not a friend worth having! Let him out on the curb and watch yourself drive far away from him in the rear view mirror. He does not deserve to be any part of journey! Keep your eyes forward to your future. emoticon emoticon
    1929 days ago
  • MARYBETH4884
    You are who you are now! The little girl is the past! Look to your future! As for you "friend" sounds like he still living in the past too! Once a bully.... You are on a journey to a better you, yes there will be bumps and turns but keep moving forward!
    1929 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1929 days ago
    Never give up. As you noted there will always be yet another mountain to climb hang in there you will reach your peak. Food isn't the answer. emoticon
    1929 days ago
    Keep on climbing Katy! You can do anything you put your mind to, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! emoticon emoticon
    1929 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by BLVING_IN_ME