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Inventory of One-ME!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Taking inventory of materialistic things is much easier than taking personal inventory. You can count things but you have to search deep within yourself when being honest with who you are.

1) Where am I Now and Where Do I want to Be?

In Nov 2011 I had reached 300 lbs and knew I needed to take control of my life or I wouldn't have a life to control. I joined Spark People and began the setup work...finding teams, making goals, tracking nutrition and then a spark friend introduced me to the BLC. Sept 2012, opened a whole new world to me. I am now at 269 lbs and even though that's a large number, it is 31 lbs less than where I began. I plan to take a cruise in May and would like to be at 250 lbs by that time. 19 lbs? Is it possible? I believe with hard work and perseverance it is. But, I really need to step up my game if I'm going to get there.

1-A) My Measurements are actually recorded in my BLC Tracking Thread and I have lost many inches since the BLC20. I would like to base my measurement for Faithfully Fit upon clothing size. When I began my journey I was wearing size 26 pants. Currently I wear baggy 24 size jeans and am going to go try on 22s. I wear a uniform during the week in the office and my work pants also began at a size 26. I can currently wear 20s. Therefore, when I finish the 40 day Faithfully Fit, I want to be wearing 20s in jeans and I want to fit better in my size 20 uniform pants.

1-B) Muscle Tone: There is a lot of me to love, but my goal is to begin seeing an outline of the inner me. I caught a glimpse once of my waste and the real me is in there. I want to be able to see a shape forming on my arms instead of flab waving back at me long after I've quit waving.

1-C) Eating Habits/Behaviors: Too many bad habits for way too long! Inconsistent to zero breakfast-I'm not a sweets person but it seems like when I'm in the mode to become healthy, I eat a lot of desserts. I eat way too many carbs and have absolutely zero control when a pizza is set before me. I push myself to drink water but at one point when I was anti-water, a friend forced me to drink it and I spit it all over her. My desire is to use food for fuel-not to be obsessed or controlled by my taste buds.

1-D) Exercise Habits: LOL I suppose a habit is defined as something someone does? I have a training program that I set up when I was in BLC20. I use way too many excuses like this pain in my ankle....the boot I have to wear....the cold busy health.....sigh. I need to re-evaluate my program and I need to make myself do it.....NO EXCUSES!

1-E) My Appearance: I don't have the best self esteem so I don't want to be too hard on myself here. I guess realistically I'd have to say in the winter I'm this huge blob who dresses for comfort when I'm not at work and in the summer, I tend to dress a little better. I am in a professional role but I don't feel I live up to the look of a professional business women. I am trying to change this by going to a better salon and learning to fix my hair. I need clothes but I never feel satisfied by how I look in the clothes due to my weight. Having lost 31 lbs, I feel a bit better about my appearance because I know I'm going in the right direction.

1-F) My General Health: I haven't been in good health for years; however, since I joined Spark People and have been taking better care of myself, I have noticed that in 2012, I only had 1 four week bout of illness and then right before Christmas I had the flu. I think I may have only gone to the dr once last year which is a miracle. The norm for me has been if I need to be seen, my dr has ordered the receptionist to double book her so I can get in. I have heart trouble, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, hypertension, high cholesterol, hiatal hernia with reflux, allergy induced asthma, allergies, am susceptible to pneumonia and a few other problems; however, I feel weight loss will held reduce if not eliminate many of these.

2) How Do the Things in 1 Affect:
Self-Esteem.......I do my best to put on a happy face but I can't help but think I've destroyed my temple along the way. My self-esteem suffers because of my lack of control. I desire to re-gain control of my appetite and fitness routine.

My Relationship with God...My relationship is there; however, I feel it could be more fully developed by taking better care of the temple I've been entrusted with. This is where I think of the 10 Commandments and how the 1st four relate directly to Him. I think about the fact that we are to have no other gods before Him and we are not to make any idols. I think gluttony can become that god when we allow food to control us; therefore, because He has said "You shall not"......He can't be entirely happy with me when I allow my stomach to rule me.

My Relationship with Others.....Commandments 5-10 relate to others. I can't see where I break any of these; however, with the ministry position I am in, I feel I need to lead by example. Others need to see self-discipline and a healthy lifestyle.

I want to learn more about myself and I want a more in-depth look at who I am and I want to challenge myself to be who God created me to be.

Friendships: I have friends who struggle with their weight and I feel by being self-disciplined, I can be an encouragement to others. Time with friends is a rare luxury for me; therefore, my virtual friends become more real to me than the physical ones because I interact more with the online group.

My Job: Not only am I a pastor but the organization that I work for is huge into Disaster Services. I love doing disaster duty; however, I am often overlooked due to health issues that hold me back from serving. I want to be healthy enough to do a 2 week rotational without having my superiors think I can't handle it. I care for my flock on a day to day basis; however, I need to care for the Shepherd as well or I won't be any good to them.

3) What do I want to accomplish in the next 40 days?

Spiritually: I want to be open to God's leading in my life; to allow Him to speak to me about where I need to be and to grow closer to Him with this introspective look into His Word. I want to be obedient to Him.

Physically: To lose weight and to set a new pattern to succeed in becoming healthier. I want to be able to wear shorts without looking at fat rolls hanging off my knees that makes my stomach turn. I want to have more energy and to feel good.

Other: To determine what is best for me; whether it leads me into Paleo eating or whether it leads me to something else. I want to remain open to what's available and to what works best for me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Best wishes!
    1894 days ago
    It sounds like you have taken a great personal inventory.
    I like how you are letting God direct your steps. We are to just trust him and follow where he leads. I think you have done well in losing so far. Keep up the great attitude and stay focused, and lean on God's strenth. Philippians 4:13 is my anchor. Drop by my sparks page for a browse.

    God bless.
    1895 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.