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Random Hills, Hidden gears, and Money Time!

Saturday, February 09, 2013

When working out at a gym, one has to get creative to keep it interesting. As much as I liked Groundhog's day, doing the same thing over and over the same way can bring up the bile of boredom. In order to keep right juices flowing, I've started using all those crazy extra buttons on the cardio machines.

If you're like me, you've probably stared at those buttons well over a dozen times without ever venturing near them. If my regular choice were a selection on a beverage dispenser, the button would read Bland Can. When I started my timid search for fitness, I shyly chose the "Quickstart" and manual buttons and played it safe. Until last week...

I felt a wee bit nervous at first, fiddling with buttons, pretending I knew what I was doing. I'm sure a candid snapshot of the moment would reveal utter perplexity, face contorted in strange ways, sweat beading off my brow before even one second of cardio was achieved. Now, maybe it's just me, or maybe its the software of the cardio gym equipment where I work out, but it seems like I have to press the same buttons a magic number of 4 times each before it starts belching and burping out computational complexities arriving at the digital equivalent of chitty chitty bang bang, Van Dyke at the helm with a wide dimpled grin and a top hat telling me I'm ready for my adventure! Random Hills, here I come!

Yes, Random Hills, are a current favorite of mine. Elliptical? Random Hill it, baby! Treadmill? Bring on the 15% incline and I'll chew up that imaginary hill like it was a chocolate chip cookie. Well, maybe a small cookie. Cycle machine? Randomize and glamorize that stationary bike like you're a rock star, my friend. Who cares if you aren't going anywhere, YOU! are chewing up Random Hills and spitting them out like sunflower shells, like bullet casings. Bam! take that stair stepper that's just sitting in front of me while I go nowhere... up a hill... as fast as I can. BAM! Because I'm on an adventure.

Whoa, who put the turbo charges on your Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you ask? Those intervals built in to those random hills do something to the brain, psychologically. When you see those little red dots built into an increasingly higher hill, you prepare yourself mentally. When you're slowly building up to a big one, you psych yourself up... hopefully not out.

Like a coin dropped in a coin slot on a beverage dispenser, that slow trickle down of the coin through the chambers, you feel a build-up, until finally, your coin arrives at its purchase, signaling that it's money time! Those last seconds before the BIG Kahuna of Hills, endorphins flood your body, and it's money time! Push it! Push IT! PUSH IT! AS HARD AS YOU CAN! Then take your CAN and crush it with a dose of HARDER! But you say your maxed out? Find that extra gear because it's money time, baby!

Are you ready for your adventure?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I am so glad you tried the other buttons I am sure you will discover the fun in being active an that your journey to better health will be skyrocketed forward.
    Have fun just like kids do and find cool new ways to burn those calories
    1895 days ago
    Funny. Great motivational blog lol
    1895 days ago
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