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Struggling to Continue Work

Friday, February 08, 2013

I can't exactly put my finger on it, but in the last couple weeks, I've REALLY been struggling with work. I have a decent job and it pays well but I want to be a stay-at-home mom. It's not that we "need" my income but we're trying to get out of debt so I agreed to work until we were debt free. We'll it's taking WAY longer than we planned.

I've been working for over 2 years now and was supposed to be able to quit this year, but we're still fighting to get rid of these last couple (large) debts. The first few went more quickly and it was encouraging to feel like we were making progress. Now it seems like we can't make any progress. Every time I think we're on track, some big bill comes and knocks us off track again.

I can feel myself wearing down but I know dh really wants me to keep working until at least this next debt is paid, but it's a biggie and will likely AT LEAST take until next year's tax return. Another year of work sounds like no big deal to lots of people, especially since it's part-time, but my heart is at home. Besides, I'm trying to homeschool my son, lose weight, shop smart, cook healthy, be at all the kids' stuff, support my dh in his very busy schedule, serve at church, fit in plenty of exercise...I'm getting worn out and have noticed my attitude slipping more.

I just want to be home. I would gladly not buy another item of clothing for a year or eat out for months if I could just stay home. I would learn to cook cheaper meals, give up cable (dh would never go for that), grow a bigger garden and store more food, trade in our regular summer trips for a camping weekend... God knows my heart but I can't tell if my wanting to come home now is selfish (probably) because I did agree to do this job until we had these bills gone or if it is Him guiding me back home, knowing it's my place and desire.

Anyway, just needed to vent/share and now on with and exercise have been wonderful, so that's good.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1896 days ago
    Have you worked out a potential budget with you not working? What would you save on child care, and being able to garden and shop around for less expensive stuff?

    You definitely need to talk to the DH about it.
    1898 days ago
    Hang in there, I really encourage you to talk to the hubster about it. It may be that he's so wrapped up in his own job/commitments that he isn't really noticing if you're really miserable but still coping.
    1899 days ago
    Have you talked to your DH & let him know just how much you want to quit? It sounds like you really need to express your feelings and see if there is a compromise. I'll keep you & your family in my prayers.
    1899 days ago
    1899 days ago
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