Yesterday, I got up and decided I wanted to see my mom. So, I got the kids ready and we made the 1 1/2 hour trip to see her. When we arrived, she met us at the door. It saddedned me to see her though.
She was a mess. I'm not going to describe it all to you but she's gotten worse since my grandmother died in August 2012.
Well, we made the trip and inside we went. In talking with her she admitted she lost her phone and some other items. The kids and I helped her find them. I talked with her and the kids played games.
In our conversation she repeated these following phrases, which my loving kids quickly refuted.
I am worthless.
I am a bad mother.
I didn't raise my children.
I give up.
and the one that hurt the most:
I want to die....
Now on a really good day, she never talks like that. Lately though she has made all her bad days. You see, my mom in an Alcoholic. She has been all my life and the majority of hers. She was doing well before her mom passed away and then she hit the bottle again. Granted she had some drinks before but she was slowly leaving it alone.
She was reading Bible verses with Grandma everyday and going to church with a family friend. She was happy.
Mom has three siblings. All passed before Grandma. Her dad and stepdad both passed before her mom. Mom is the last living child of Grandma. She keeps saying she is all alone.
My children and I reminded her that we love her and she is worth alot to us. We don't want to see her hurting but we don't know what to do to help. So, when she starting falling asleep, we did all we could....we put her to bed. Stayed to make sure she slept a bit. I wrote her a note letting her know we loved her. That I had to get back to get my older two from school and work. That we'll call her. We love her alot.
Then we left.
She texted me later in the evening, it was not anything that I could make out. I just told her that we loved her. I called a neighbor to go check on her. Neighbor said she was ok but still drunk.
I am worried about my mom and wish she would seek some help. I have tried to get her to do that but she is terrified to leave her property. She thinks someone is trying to take it from her and if she leaves she loses all rights to it. Grandma left her the home and property she is on.
I am just heartbroken. I really do love my Mom.