Thursday, February 07, 2013

Yesterday, I got up and decided I wanted to see my mom. So, I got the kids ready and we made the 1 1/2 hour trip to see her. When we arrived, she met us at the door. It saddedned me to see her though.

She was a mess. I'm not going to describe it all to you but she's gotten worse since my grandmother died in August 2012.

Well, we made the trip and inside we went. In talking with her she admitted she lost her phone and some other items. The kids and I helped her find them. I talked with her and the kids played games.

In our conversation she repeated these following phrases, which my loving kids quickly refuted.

I am worthless.
I am a bad mother.
I didn't raise my children.
I give up.

and the one that hurt the most:

I want to die....

Now on a really good day, she never talks like that. Lately though she has made all her bad days. You see, my mom in an Alcoholic. She has been all my life and the majority of hers. She was doing well before her mom passed away and then she hit the bottle again. Granted she had some drinks before but she was slowly leaving it alone.

She was reading Bible verses with Grandma everyday and going to church with a family friend. She was happy.

Mom has three siblings. All passed before Grandma. Her dad and stepdad both passed before her mom. Mom is the last living child of Grandma. She keeps saying she is all alone.

My children and I reminded her that we love her and she is worth alot to us. We don't want to see her hurting but we don't know what to do to help. So, when she starting falling asleep, we did all we could....we put her to bed. Stayed to make sure she slept a bit. I wrote her a note letting her know we loved her. That I had to get back to get my older two from school and work. That we'll call her. We love her alot.

Then we left.

She texted me later in the evening, it was not anything that I could make out. I just told her that we loved her. I called a neighbor to go check on her. Neighbor said she was ok but still drunk.

I am worried about my mom and wish she would seek some help. I have tried to get her to do that but she is terrified to leave her property. She thinks someone is trying to take it from her and if she leaves she loses all rights to it. Grandma left her the home and property she is on.

I am just heartbroken. I really do love my Mom.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I can relate, having an alcoholic mother. I'm certain I would be in your very situation if my grandmother were to pass away. My sincerest condolences and prayers your mother finds the help she needs.
    2319 days ago
    I'm very sorry this is happening to you and to her. I encourage you to start contacting the county and doctors in your area asking for help. From what you said, it sounds like she's no longer able to properly care for herself and that makes her a vulnerable adult. Getting her help from the county/state and from doctors will give you the chance to help her in ways you don't know how to do. They might want to put her in a program, but they may be able to work with her in her home on many thing so she can be in a comfortable place. You can't get the help if you don't ask for it, so please start asking anyone who could help in any way whatsoever.

    Because of my disabilities I've had to seek out a LOT of assistance from others. I had absolutely no idea how to do this, so I just started asking questions. If someone says they can't do anything, then ask them if they have an idea who might be able to. Ask, ask again, and keep asking. There is help out there for your mom (especially due to her age, as people over 50 has an easier time getting assistance than someone like me who's 31) to help her through this time and possibly save her life.

    Based on what you said she was saying, there are red flags that she could be thinking of doing something drastic. Don't take these lightly. She needs help from people who are trained to help people just like her.
    2319 days ago
    (((((((((((( Ladypye )))))))))))

    Gentle cyber hugs. emoticon
    2320 days ago
  • MOM2OR
    emoticon It's always sad to hear and see our parents going through things like that. My mom passed away last April at 59 and my dad has recently become a mess this past January. He has also begun saying things like your mom: I am worthless, I give up, I want to die...etc. I know losing someone hurts, tremendously, especially since he isn't the only one going through it since she was my mom, (and in your case your grandma), but it doesn't mean life doesn't go on. We just have to find other things to keep us going! My dad has 4 kids and 6 grandchildren, you would think that would be enough to keep them going! Even in your situation with your kids. The kids and grandchildren could never have happened without the parent being a good parent. All we can do is tell them how much we love them and try to convince them that they're completely worth it; what they do with it is completely in their hands unfortunately.

    2320 days ago
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